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42 / F / Straight / Single
Her journal posts
Nov 3, 2008
Your turn now | Today - 9:33pm* Grab the nearest book.
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
"Then forth came an old knight
A pattering o'er his creed,
And proffered to the little boy
Five nobles to his meed:
'And all the time of Christmas
Plum porridge shall be thine,
If thou wilt let my lady fair
Within the mantle shine.'"
It's from a story about a test by a magic mantle, retold by Thomas Bulfinch in _The Age of Chivalry and Legends of Charlemagne_
Oct 9, 2007
If looking for a match on OkCupid, would you consider connecting with someone whose relationship status is 'seeing someone' or 'married'?Um...why isn't there a polyamorous option for this question?
- Yes on both.
- No on both.
- Yes on 'seeing someone' only.
- Yes on 'married' only.
There's a huge difference between someone willing to be an accessory to adultery or non marital cheating, and someone who might consider a relationship with someone who is able to love more than one person.
It's 2007 already, and kinda sad that folks are still thinking the universally ideal romance has to be monogamist.
...and even in old fashioned terms, what about Muslims and roots Mormons? What about people of pre colonial African faiths that are polyamorous? The whole world isn't the suburban U.S. and even there, are quite a few who don't conform to the limited standards.
I think this is an unfair question.
Jan 24, 2007
I figured I'd type something here, since it's been so long. I've neglected OK Cupid a bit, mainly because I've given up hope of finding an available, interested guy in Israel who doesn't view me as an animal or something close. It's not as bad as it sounds. I've been able to focus on more important things (than people who don't care) like making money.
I'm not a millionaire yet, but it's starting to look like it can happen. It's basically been just a matter of not taking steps back when I take steps forward. No matter how things look at the moment, the sun still comes up every morning. Certain things are just nature, and I should just go with the flow so long as there's no conflict with my integrity.
Surprisingly, through it all, I still have that. No shag is worth humiliation. No penny is worth dishonor.
When I buy my third artists' commune, I'll tell people how I did it. Meanwhile, the bulk of my work is staying positive and creative. Creativity is definitely not an unlimited resource, and the fact that there is very little that's actually new left to think of can be disheartening. So I try to think of what would be useful, and that tends to make some mental sparks. The problems may be old, but my solutions are from my unique perspective, which is relatively new.
So I'm working on a few new sites all at once. It's work, but it's fun. Hopefully it'll also be helpful to someone out there learning the art of waffle making or how to put on makeup without looking like a clown.
Apr 6, 2006
Whenever someone doesn't fit the media ideal or close enough to it to pass, they have to deal with this reality. They should learn to be confident in spite of it, but they should also be aware that there are predatory types out there who will attempt to exploit them.
See, beauty is a strange thing...People react to it even when it's not convenient. A big woman who is beautiful has to be careful since her bigness (within reasonable limits and sometimes beyond) isn't actually making her less attractive. It's only making her less socially convenient in a thinness obsessed culture. So she's usually not lacking in guys who are attracted to her, or often even guys who love her...but attraction and love are not enough. A guy (or girl in the vise versa or a same sex situation) has to have the strength to be his own man when it comes to who he'll be seen with, date, and marry.
...and that's whether the person in question is fat, bald, old, nerdy, not the same ethnicity or faith, or whatever brand of different.
Apr 6, 2006
Would you have sex with someone overweight, but not date them?
Does this ever really happen anymore? Is any fat chick over 10 naive enough to shag a guy who hasn't proven he's okay with being seen with her, unless she doesn't want to be seen with him?
If there is someone this naive left, someone should smack their parents.
Apr 5, 2006
Last night, one of my brainstorms resulted in a couple of prototypes for kids' craft projects. Jo, my festivals boss/agent will be pleased when she sees them, I think...I hope.
I'm back on my fitness plan after a couple of weeks of DDTD (depression due to disappointment) because of a few not so surprising, but very tedious failures on the part of a few romantic potentials. I gave myself a couple of weeks to rest so that once it's out of my system, it's really out, and I won't find myself in tears when the instructor plays _Tamali_Maak_ or _Yaay_ in belly dance class or something equally embarassing. I have too many male friends to entertain any gender based bitterness, and too much to do to waste time and thought dwelling on the past.
As soon as I let go, the ideas started flowing back. So the time out was good for me, but now "the show must go on".
That is, by the way, the first song on my breakup playlist. ;-)
I have an almost disturbing recovery speed. The reason it's almost and not very disturbing is because I'm actually doing it on purpose. I go with the flow as far as my emotional state, but I'm very goal oriented. Someone who cares nothing for me really does not deserve my time. Usually by the time they've gotten me to care about them, and convinced me that they might actually mean it when they say they love me, they've already wasted enough of it. My definition of love is something that I think perhaps most people have no clue of outside of movies. So I'm usually prepared to find out that a guy mistook something I'd class as a fascination, for love, no matter how many times he says it's love.
...and I think this is what helps with the recovery. Sure I get angry, but I understand that this is an instinctive reaction to a type of rejection. However, once the anger is over, I realize that just as a retarded person can't help their low IQ, a shallow person can't help their low EQ. I would only be angry for a few minutes at a retarded person who hit my hand with a hammer just to kill a fly that was sitting on it. I am only angry for a few days when a shallow guy swears he loves me because just because he recognizes that I'm special. I'll still have pain, but no anger...and eventually the pain goes away too, especially with intelligent care.
I suppose I should be flattered that someone would be concerned enough to kill the fly...and that some guys really think they love me...until their love is tested by life or time.
What's funny is that a couple of the emotional retards feel that I'm not good enough for them. They blame their parents, saying it's their families' opinion, and not theirs...but those of us who have souls know the deal. I won't even go too deeply into it. No need. I know I'm not the only one who's been through similar experiences.
Having a sense of humor is very helpful.
I just see all this as life's way of telling me that I lowered my shields a bit too much. I let other people who were worried about me, convince me that I needed to lighten up. I don't need to lighten up. I need a man.
The next guy who tells me to lighten up (so he can attempt to wedge his way into my heart without having to prove he's qualified to be there) is going to find me ultra-light. That's a nice way of saying permanently platonic.
I just can't see touching someone I can't take seriously. It gives me the same kind of icky feeling as words like "beastiality" or "necrophilia"...only unlike animals and the dead, I have a choice in the matter. Since I am aware of my choices, and very decisive about them, it's not a very heavy or grave thing at all. I simply have no interest in the emotionally retarded.