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ShatnerMustDie

39 M Iqaluit, 14, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–54
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:01am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly vegan
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aquarius, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from space camp
Job
Law
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Married
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English, French (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Goddamn, do I HATE this guy: https://www.nfb.ca/film/william_shatner_sings_o_canada.

Ahem. Hiya. Lemme tell you a lil something about yours truly.

I'm a foodie. I'm a traveler. I'm a sympathetic audience. I spend my days fighting insurance companies and my evenings fighting crime. I adore silly things that randomly occur- the kinds of things that you never could've predicted when you woke up that morning. I'm a spelling Nazi, which, being also a spelling Jew, leads to a certain degree of internal conflict. I laugh at my own jokes. I barrack for St. Kilda and cheer for the Leafs (though you'll earn a ton of cred if you've even heard of St. Kilda, never mind can find it on a map). I fill out Sunday crosswords at the museum. I hike and smile and drink a lot. I'm a Britishy-humour kinda guy. I'm grape-flavoured, as always.

FYI: I'm not looking to date or sleep with you, no matter how many times I stalk you. That job is taken. You, gentle reader, are simply a procrastinatory means to a sublime end.

I also answer a lot of questions, very often with commentary. FYI.

I am making it up and as I go along.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Six years of tap, five years of jazz. One day I'll make it to the Copa.

Play it loud: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZZJNKDOTYw
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Filling out online profiles. Whistling insanely loudly. Annoying insurance adjusters. Keeping a completely straight face whilst bullshitting, preferrably involving protracted stories about anal plugs, Saddam Hussein and a complete set of the thirteenth edition of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica. Fidgeting. Organising weekly Patiofest (tm) adventures for my mates and I. Telling jokes (if you ask very, very nicely, I may tell you the muffin joke).

Oh, and I fucking rock the clock at pub trivia. Except the music rounds, which is when the reserves get called in.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm a profoundly annoying person.

Pro. Found. Lee.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Good God. I tend to like intelligent satire and humour. Bill Bryson's a favorite and I've been a fan of Douglas Adams for over twenty years. I enjoy Steinbeck's evocaticism (is that a word?), Wodehouse's sense of humour and Heller's excellent timing. I also read the backs of breakfast cereal boxes. Last but not least, I adore John Mortimer, if only because I really, really sympathize.

Movies: I'm omnivorous in my tastes, provided whatever I'm watching is good for what it is. Action, drama, blockbuster, indy, I don't give a shit- provided it's done well. Actually, that's not entirely true; I've lately gone off heavy, tragic documentaries (ie: Darfur, etc) and I think it`s because I see enough tragedy at work. My favourite movie of all time is Brazil, but I'll tell you what I don't like- all the damn John Hughes eighties teen movies. Fuck me, I remember sitting in the movie theatre actually cringing and having to look away when the lovable loser of a main character does whatever he needs to do to spark the horrible misunderstanding between him and the girl he adores, in order for them to fall happily in love at the end. Fuckers.

Music: anything with a horn in it. Jazz, classical, ska, whatever. What can I say? Brass makes me hard.

Food: I'm a massive, massive foodie who prides himself in his excellent taste but has a happily low threshold of satisfaction. My tastes are all over the map and there's very, very little I won't eat. Seriously- the idea of a good time at a restaurant is to order randomly from menu written in a language I don't understand. Example: my last trip was to Vietnam and I was so impressed by the street food that I'd just point to things on the menu with high expectations. Brilliant. I also cook a LOT (and I'm pretty good at it, too) and the idea of relaxing after a hard day is to spend a half-hour/hour fixing dinner. Right now I'm digging sweet-hot combinations and slow-cooked comfort food (it's Fall, innit?) and I'm a year-round freak on the barbecue.

That said, eating, drinking cooking is something I like to do, but I don't put any personal stock in it. I'm not a "so-which-trendy-restaurants-have-you-been-to" or a "I-served-twenty-at-a-dinner-party-last-week" kind of foodie. Those foodies give foodies a bad name.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. She Who Must Be Obeyed; 2. Good Scotch, a blessed thing; 3. my trivia team; 4. my clerks, G and/or D and/or N and/or L and/or C (the real 'other women' in my life and smarter than I am by far); 5. a clever person with whom to occasionally chat; 6. semicolons.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why I'm spending so much time on OKC and not spending more time curing cancer. I really should be spending more time curing cancer.

The motivation and equilibrium that has to exist between two people that in turn creates the Dominant/submissive space. And what a curiously fascinating space it is...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Blessing the recuperative powers of good Scotch. Or fighting crime.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

I have a year's supply of krugerrands along with a bin of high-quality pantyhose, kept as insurance against the day things get really get ugly.

I obsess over weird songs. Last week it was the Ben Folds cover of Bitches Ain't Shit. This week it's the National Anthem of the Soviet Union. I honestly wish I was joking.

I'm very pleased that OKC thinks that one of my better qualities is "friendlier to strangers". Very flattered indeed.

I don't actually live in Iqaluit.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay.

After years of avoiding them like the plague, I'm starting to really, really understand why people like gin and tonics.

I have a moose head on my office wall, but don't worry: it's a vegan moose head.

Between shaving my head on a lark this past summer to growing various kinds of mustaches for Movember, how much my "look" has changed in the last six months.

I followed a woman down to Melbourne, Australia, only to have the entire relationship crash and burn shortly thereafter. I don't miss the woman, but even five years after, I miss my antipoedian home, terribly.

I'm hideously ambivalent about having kids, while at the same time kinda regretting not having sprog right now.

I used to be an exceptionally close friend of Doug from Tibet. Maybe you know him.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You know what happened to Huell.

You're insane.

You came into the room expecting abuse, not an argument. No, really, not an argument- anise.

You care to discuss restaurant recommendations in Toronto.

You too lost money on stupid St Kilda making the premiership this year.

You can guess what number I'm thinking of.

You want to know where the best latte in Toronto can be found.

You want to hear the muffin joke.

You have plenty of time to waste.