If you don't expect to fuck at the first meeting. A "meeting" is
over a drink or two with some conversation where there is
absolutely no pressure find a place to fuck, a.k.a., chemistry
check. A "date," where there will be fucking, happens after
If you can host and/or get your shit together enough to figure out
a civilized place for us to have "relations," should it come to
that. You can understand that I don't have a car, don't want a car,
and am in no way willing to go to the 'burbs; a two hour train trip
is not foreplay.
If you know the difference between its and it's; there, they're,
and their; your and you're; further and farther; and know what this
[ – ] is called. If you know that "alot" is not a word. If, even
texting, you don't use "b," "r," "u," or "2" as words. If you don't
use emoticons and if you don't think "lol" should be used,
If you don't want a girlfriend, potential wife, or someone to talk
to about your girlfriend or wife. However, talking about how
wonderful your partner with whom you're in an open relationship is
is always welcome. Cheaters need not apply.
If you're a chick or a chick and a dude.
If you're not a fucking flake. If, after seeing in person that I'm
"not your type," you have the decency to buy a girl a drink and
have a conversation.
You can send messages of substance. Asking me how my
weekend/night/day is going is not substantive. The single word
message is not substantive. Telling me I look good in my photos is
not substantive. I know they're good photos, that's why I posted
them. Demonstrating that you know how to read by not misspelling,
commenting on something in my profile, or mentioning something
interesting will probably get a response; any of the above will
JUST IN CASE YOU CAN ONLY READ THE TEXT VERSION OF YELLING: I HAVE
NO FUCKING INTEREST IN ANYONE IN THE BURBS. THERE'S A REASON I LIVE
IN A REAL CITY WITH PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF
EVERYONE ELSE IN THE MIDWEST, INCLUDING YOU, HAS A FUCKING CAR, IF
YOU DON'T LIVE IN CHICAGO DON'T FUCKING BOTHER.