WARNING: Reading this is for your own benefit; I’ve worked pretty hard to describe myself realistically. I feel like it’s a waste of time pretending to be something that I’m not, so I’ve made it easy on you and detailed some blueprint or cheat sheet or whatever of my inner psychological workings. You won’t be dismayed by my idiosyncrasies if you take the time to read the Manual de Krista.

::SONG OF THE DAY:: If you don't like this, then we can still be friends, but I'll be highly disappointed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvzxtZjWpqY

Now on to business.

My name is Krista and I love cake. Chocolate cake.

This is my facebook page: It is the best way to reach me, because I don't give out my digits publicly. If you are interested in getting to know me a little better, friend me. Thanks to the powers of Android, I am logged in 24/7 and chat indiscriminately.

http://www.facebook.com/shehascake

Ok. I am going to finish this stupid profile even if it kills me. Which it might, considering I don't believe that these are proper indicators of our personalities, nor does it give us justice for being the people that we are. Where do I begin...

I laugh too much. I think I may have slight OCD and ADHD tendencies. I talk faster than my brain can process. I'm spontaneous but in a "plan everything last minute after I decide to do it" way. I am indecisive because I like to look at both options equally or I fear I'll lose a choice. I am both passionate and nonchalant. I have a ridiculously large book, movie, and VG collection. I do everything in my power to help those in need (this includes humans, other animals, bugs, plants, and inanimate objects). The love of my life is my van (it's silver *swoon*). I'm a wild spirit and an old soul. When I make friends, it is for life. I am perpetually in search of new adventures; hungry to gain knowledge and experience. The monumental levels of energy that I possess are unfortunate. I love and trust everyone, making me optimistic even in situations when I shouldn't be (is that sentence grammatically correct?). I am super duper protective of the things I deem worthy of protection, which include my friends, nature, peace and tranquility. On the other hand, I may get belligerently crazy intoxicated at social events (I'm a lightweight), and then all of my morals are null and void. I've been told I'm more fun to be around at this time.

Lies.

I work very hard to get things done, but sometimes I put my priorities before others. Don't worry, I'll eventually get it in the end - better late than never, right? My point being is that I am a caring, driven person, but sometimes I may forget about the little things (possibly taking them for granted) from time to time. I am working on this.

Patience, understanding, and a good sense of humor are a great match for my goofy-ass personality. If you can make me laugh, I will loyally be your best friend. Be warned, though - I can be feisty at times, but mostly I'm down-to-earth and laid back. I have many things to learn and I'll eagerly listen to different ideas, although please don't be offended if I play the devil's advocate for the sake of curiosity... Your reactions are what drive me. If you couldn't tell yet, I'm honest to a fault. Social chameleon? Yes; I get along with everyone and have a colorful spectrum of friends, but I tend to dumb-down my communication so everyone can understand what I'm trying to convey. In a snap I can offer intelligent conversation, but so far I've noticed a trend in shallow, one-dimensional thought with a lot of people. Until I figure out that you're not on a plateau of self-betterment and are actually striving to gain life experiences in a decent way towards all people, I'll just stick to not wasting my energy by trying to reach your inner thought processes.

I'm a weird sort of shy extrovert but I'm extremely friendly. As an Army brat, I'm used to moving around and making friends quickly. I'm easy to get along with, but I do have my opinions - who doesn't? An open mind is a must! I frequently stumble upon "novel ideas" that captivate my interest for a period of time; and then it's on to something new again! Just get to know me for yourself. Send a message my way, I won't bite!

Some things you should know: I don't do one-night-stands, I really hate lying and cheating, and I'm not into random hookups. I need to be comfortable with you and it probably won't happen unless I think you're worth it. I am pretty cuddly and/or physical; but I'm not clingy and I wholeheartedly condone having a life and being independent. I'm into shaggy hair, I use makeup sparingly, I love comics and video games, I have a tattoo on my lower back of a black tribal rose, I proudly sport an eyebrow piercing, and the only reason I'm awesome at drawing is because my skills are the result of not paying enough attention in math class.

Did I reach 1,000 words yet? No!?

*Le sigh*

cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake

BAM.

UPDATE. I don't think I would be happy joining the US military, so my plan is to get a job with an environmental firm or governmental agency. Maybe the private sector would be best for anything environmental. I'm not sure yet.

After I do figure it out, I would like to get my Master's in Environmental Science & Policy. I just finished my internship at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in Front Royal, VA on July 31, 2011, and graduated from GMU in January.

UPDATED UPDATE. Alright. After great contemplation, I have decided that the best thing to do is to follow my interest in neuropsychology and get my Master's. "Mo' money mo' problems" doesn't seem to apply to me right now.

Finally, I just got an apartment with 2 roomskies after my trip from Europe! I'm being productive moving my stuff in, but that quickly turns into suddenly finding myself jamming out after I've given my work a few long, scrutinizing glares.

UPDATED UPDATED UPDATE. Ok, so I now work at Starbucks as a barista, and I just completed Bartending School - I can be financially stable while I pursue my Master's Degree at night or online. I also just got a house with 5 classy gentlemen. :D

Also, I'm writing this instead of doing job applications.

Eating, being the first and last person to clap in crowds, laughing at my own jokes, and getting stupidly enthusiastic about everything.

My outgoing and/or sometimes uncomfortably awkward personality - but it's alright; I've learned to embrace my endearing strangeness.

Things that I like to do: Business networking, Camping, Coffee and conversation, Cooking, Dining out, Gardening/Landscaping, Hobbies and crafts, Movies/Videos, Museums and art, Music and concerts, Performing arts, Reading, Shopping/Antiques, Travel/Sightseeing, Video games, Volunteering.

Sports that I like: Dancing, Horseback Riding, Swimming, Softball, Walking/Hiking, Working out/Other types of exercise, Yoga.

1. Cake
2. Spontaneous Adventures
3. Facebook
4. My Purse (With everything inside. No, that's not cheating.)
5. Music (I am a HUGE arts/media junkie.)
6. Friends, Family, and God

Learning how to escape from the endless loop that is me saying the most random shit at inappropriate times.

Probably going out with friends, or staying in and watching movies. Either way, food will be involved.

Honesty is the best policy. I'm embarrassed to admit that I have a serious Nutella addiction.

...I don't think it's curable.

You should also happen to like cake :D