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54 Asheville, NC Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30-60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:17pm
Straight, Heteroflexible, Sapiosexual
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Other and it’s important
Dropped out of University
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Revisiting OKC after a long absence. I'll be adding more soon, and installing the OKC for non mainstream users mod.

I'm a self employed fine woodworker and carpenter evolving into a craft artist. I dance a lot socially, mostly contra and waltzing and blues/two-step/zydeco. I like hiking, camping, being in the woods. I am musical, intellectual, and I enjoy reading and good conservation. I love cats especially and critters in general. Gemini sun, Leo moon, Scorpio rising, Venus in Taurus, Mars in Leo, grand cross, grand trine. Probably tridoshic. Too close to the center of the Myers-Briggs scales to accurately type. Autodydactic polymath.

Liberal/progressive politically. Go Bernie! Feminist. Environmentalist. Often brave/foolish enough to stand up for what I believe.

I describe myself as pagan because that's what fits best. I am not very organised about it. I am much more into an intelligent, open minded, and open hearted consideration of spirituality than fantasy role playing, costumes and accessories, and elaborate rituals. I find truth in different paths, and I see no contradiction between pantheism and monotheism. I often find ethical atheists to be more 'spiritual' than religious folks. I recognize the 'personhood' of all critters and beings; the cat people, the bird people, the insect folks, and the faeries are just as much people as we are, and are certainly not inferior.

I am a mammal who makes his own heat, with plenty to share, and I am more comfortable in cooler weather. Hopefully you like to snuggle; I will warm you on chilly nights. My eyes, ears, skin, energy, etc., are very sensitive. I love my night vision, walking through the woods on a moonless night is easy. But full summer sun and halogen flashes blind me without proper protection. I can often hear conversations in the next house or mice and bugs under the leaves on the forest floor. I empathise well and intuit keenly.

There are basically two classes here, in terms of what people are seeking. Most want a primary dyad, long term life partner, married or might as well be, kind of relationship. And then there's the 'others', folks who like being single and actively dating, open marriages and poly people, those in transition who for various reasons aren't looking for forever, or anyone else who is open to a non mainstream connection. I'm in the second group.

OKC's system is pretty good, but I have some frustration with the questions. Collectively they do a good job of describing and matching, but many of the questions aren't written well &/or don't offer adequate answers. I've answered a bunch, and continue to do so, but many were before the 'explanation' option existed. I'm not going to redo 1000+ questions, sorry. So if you look through my questions, know that some of my answers are the best possible compromise, and without an explanation they may not give the most accurate concept for a specific situation.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Dancing a lot. Making music, art. Getting out in the woods. Work, by financial necessity, occupies a major chunk of time, but I work to live, not the other way around. Working on melding the two. I've made a lot of progress becoming who I want to be, but I have far to go to be satisfied with my lifestyle. I'm always chasing the list of a thousand and one things. Despite challenges, I find blessings in life, and pet kitties whenever possible.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Deep introspective conversation. I'm very perceptive and there's not much wool left over these eyes.
I have mad skills. I'm a fine woodworker and carpenter by trade, craft artist, user and fixer of machinery and tools. Constantly solving problems and designing solutions.
Doing art and Making music.
I love social dancing and the subtle language of touch. I love communicating with critters in general and petting kitties in particular.
Other stuff, too.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Tall, blue eyes, solid, nice chest, bearded. Well spoken, intelligent, helpful. If on the dance floor, great lead, good connection, sensual, expressive, on time. I am intense, articulate, very directly honest, got no need for small talk, hypocrisy, or apathy. Some are comfortable with this and some aren't; some I rub the wrong way, without meaning to. Besides that, however, I'm personable, sensitive, perceptive, and get along well with lots of different folks. Often scruffy, I do clean up well and get plenty of smiles and flirts.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Too much to list. I read a lot, don't watch TV or see much mainstream hollywood but love independent/fine art/foreign films. I'm musically well educated (cellist and bass/baritone formerly and reemergent), love 'classical', celtic/acoustic/folk, rock & blues, world, etc all over the place. Adventurous with food, gourmande.

The concept of 'favorite books, music, food, (flavors of women)' does not compute. I own enough books to fill a box truck, and my dream house will have a library. Currently on the table are:

Chilton repair manual for Isuzu Trooper
Chart Interpretation Handbook – Arroyo
Planets In Synastry – Neville
Appalachian Trail Thru-Hiker's Companion
Only Four More Miles – 2010 Appalachian Trail Circle Expedition
Sex at Dawn – Ryan/Jetha
The Ethical Slut – Easton/Liszt
Polyamory – The New Love Without Limits – Anapol
The Botany of Desire – Pollen
Legacy of the Heart – Muller
Drama of the Gifted Child – Miller
Centering – Richards
The Way of the Superior Man – Deida
The Brain That Changes Itself – Doidge
The Brain Trust Program – McCleary
(the above is last year, now there's wilderness survival manuals, wild foods and tree field guides, maps, I love maps, we could make a whole date out of retiring to the couch with a bottle of wine and an atlas, and
Spark -- Ratey
Loving What Is -- Katie
The Complete Walker

Sometimes I want to make a longish list of more specific music that I like, cuz when we see something of strong mutual interest in a profile it gives us something to like in each other and talk about, but I like so much musically that I sometimes skip reading this section. It's fun to discover mutual interests in person, although aesthetic compatibility is important. See, here's an example of my dueling inner natures: I recognize that seeing stuff you like in my music list may inspire you to want to contact me, but I'm also open to discovering wonderful new stuff in your music. Being a cellist and dancer, I prefer lyrical music with some structure and often passion, whether that be Vivaldi or Tori; hence, rap, electronica, and bebop are usually near the bottom of the list. There are always exceptions. And then there's the wind in the trees, the babbling brook, the chorus of bugs.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I'm pretty adaptable and flexible and have had to learn to do without lots of things at times, some that other people in first world countries consider essential, like electricity, running water, or even a place to live. Some things that are very important to me and which I desire passionately are music, art, dancing, communing with earth and her inhabitants, intense conversation, motorcycling, new interests and connections, eroticism, independent thinking, language and symbolism, and KITTIES!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I think a lot, fantasize, daydream, imagine, analyze, design. Often about my goals: artistically, relationally, financially, lifestyle ...
Whatever woodworking or art project I'm involved with,
And of course, sex and current flirtations!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
There is no typical. Occasionally I am working late, puttering in the shop, or home alone, traveling, reading or computering, or on a date. Often I am going out on the town, listening or dancing to music, or attending an event or party.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I pick the scallops out of the 'seafood delight' at the asian buffet. Not to avoid them; I serve myself only scallops (yum!) and avoid the fake crab and frozen shrimp. I'm an omnivore, and you won't change that (fairly healthy, conscious, balanced, not strict), but I have no problem dating vegetarians or people with other dietary restrictions.

Yeah, smartass answer; you get the private stuff in private.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're interested in friendship, art, music, dancing, eroticism, outdoors stuff, &/or great intense conversation. Also hopefully cuddling, snuggling, and more. I hope to find loosely fitting but loving connections with passionate, strong, independent women. I am not looking for a couple-oriented partner, I am looking for friends and lovers. Not necessarily lots, just open to what works. The details are negotiable, I'm conversant in polyamory, and I have enduring connections yet room in my life now. I would love a new adventure with a wild goddess who has leaves in her hair.

I have recently begun exploring shibari and am discovering that i may be more kinky than I thought I was. I am more interested in sensual connection than dominance, although trussing you up and having my way with you (consensually) does have its appeal. I would love to find women interested in getting tied up. If that isn't you, no worries, I have been happily mostly vanilla most of my life. Always interested in exploring new territory and stretching my boundaries.

There is something ineffable about chemistry which is impossible to convey online. There's a lot of value in the essays and match rates, but no matter how good someone looks here or on facebook, we won't know until we meet what our eyes and noses and guts will say, whether our skin wants to connect. The details about what we like are negotiable and less important than that electrobiochemical connection. So some correspondence is fine to establish mutual interest, but I want to meet relatively soon to see if we like each other in person. My goal is real life interaction, and less, not more, time spent online.