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52 M Asheville, NC

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 11:00am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm a self employed fine woodworker and carpenter evolving into a craft artist. I dance a lot socially, mostly contra and waltzing and blues/two-step/zydeco. I like hiking, camping, being in the woods. My musician self is reemerging and my motorcyclist self is next. I'm an intellectual, reader, writer, converser. I love cats especially and critters in general. Gemini sun, Leo moon, Scorpio rising, Mercury retograde in Cancer, Venus in Taurus, Mars in Leo, grand cross, grand trine. Probably tridoshic. Too close to the center of the Myers-Briggs scales to accurately type. Autodydactic polymath.

I describe myself as pagan because that's what fits best. I am not very organised about it, and I haven't found a pagan community which fits (although I've certainly tried). I am much more into an intelligent, open minded, and open hearted consideration of spirituality than fantasy role playing, costumes and accessories, and elaborate rituals. I find much valid truth in studying many different paths, and I see no contradiction between pantheism and monotheism. I often find ethical atheists to be more 'spiritual' than religious folks. I recognise the 'personhood' of all critters and beings; the cat people, the bird people, the insect folks, and the faeries are just as much people as we are, and are certainly not inferior. The congregation I sometimes attend is Jubilee!, a multifaith community in Asheville which is still way too Judeo-Christian for me, but which has good message, good heart, and good people.

My Scottish, German, and Swedish ancestors predominate in my physical expression. I am a mammal who makes his own heat, with plenty to share, and I am more comfortable in cooler climes and weather. If you like to snuggle, I will definitely keep you warm on chilly nights. My eyes, ears, skin, energy, etc., are very sensitive. I love my night vision, can read a paper by the full moon, and walking through the woods on a moonless night is easy. But full summer sun and halogen flashes blind me without proper protection. I can often hear conversations in the next house or mice and bugs under the leaves on the forest floor. I empathise well and intuit keenly.

There are basically two classes here, in terms of what people are seeking. Most want a primary dyad, long term life partner, married or might as well be, kind of relationship. And then there's the 'others', folks who like being single and actively dating, open marriages and poly people, those in transition who for various reasons aren't looking for forever, or anyone else who is open to a non mainstream connection. I'm in the second group. Which leads to:

So many of the profiles I read describe idyllic lives, where you have everything you could want except a nice man to share it with. Most people in my age range looking for dates have 'arrived'. I am scarred and tattered, rueful and worn, have my PhD in the School of Hard Knocks. After going into business for myself in 2005, the recession stomped me, and I closed my shop a year and a half ago. I've lost people very meaningful to me. I'm in somewhat of a quandary about what I'm doing here, as I neither present as an accomplished enough man to be partner quality nor am I interested in that type of relationship now. But I refuse to believe that I should put myself on a shelf until the problems are all solved; life is full of challenges and I intend to live while I can. I will not be your project, I am not looking for help or handouts, and I do not need to be judged because I have problems. Maybe you've had some challenges, too. I have a lot to offer in the right context. I'm also very handy. Gee, that sounds pathetic. I'm not on a mainstream path, and I've taken some detours on those roads not taken, but I can be a great friend/lover.

A first glance at my profile, tests, and match questions might indicate that I'm a raging horndog. This is true. You'll need a high libido, or at least an appreciation of mine, if we're going to get along well as lovers. I am open to friends with benefits and recreational hookups if the people, situation, and vibe is conducive to a mutually positive experience. However, I would like to emphasize that although my little head does influence my big head considerably, my big head is the one which remains in charge. I have turned down sexual invitations many times when all did not seem right to me. Good connection and energy is very important to me, and I have the integrity to exercise my discretion. I am not the average clueless guy seeking sex regardless of considering the whole picture. I believe that relationships tend to automatically find their own level, and that trying to make it more or less than it is is futile. Exceptions are often attempted when one person wants more than the other person wants to give, but then the futility asserts itself. Women generally like and trust me; I'm genuinely friendly and respectful of people and of women's boundaries in particular.

I really like the sophistication of OKC's system, but I have some frustration with the questions. All together, they do a generally good job of describing and matching, but many of the questions aren't written well &/or don't offer adequate answers. I've answered a bunch, and continue to do so, but many were before the 'explanation' option existed. If I ever have the downtime to redo 1000+ questions, I will, but don't hold your breath. Even the heading 'Answers I'll Accept' means something rather different than 'Answers I Like'. I'll always accept your answer, whether or not I like it or think we'll agree. So if you look through my questions, know that some of my answers are the best possible compromise, and without an explanation they may not give the most accurate concept for a specific situation.
What I’m doing with my life
Dancing a lot. Making music, art, love. Getting out in the woods. Work and financial necessities of course occupy a major chunk of time, but I work to live, not the other way around. I've made a lot of progress becoming who I want to be, but I have far to go to be satisfied with my lifestyle. Just got my first kilt for my 50th! I'm always chasing the list of a thousand and one things. Despite poverty, I find blessings in life, and pet kitties (and women) whenever possible.
I’m really good at
Lots. No, really. Talking, communicating, feeling, grokking, perceiving. Creating, expressing, designing, problem-solving. Making music. Fixing, building, jigging and jerryrigging. Woodwork. Reading, writing, research, debating. Dancing, massage, etc. Communicating with critters in general and petting kitties in particular. Scrappy determined survival, improvising solutions in unforseen circumstances.
The first things people usually notice about me
Tall, curly hair, blue eyes, solid, nice chest. Recently decided to return to the bearded clan. Well spoken, intelligent, helpful. If on the dance floor, great lead, good connection, sensual, expressive, on time. I am intense, articulate, very directly honest, got no need for small talk, hypocrisy, or apathy. Some are comfortable with this and some aren't; some I rub the wrong way, often without meaning or intending to. Without that in the way, however, I'm very personable, sensitive, perceptive, and get along well with lots of different folks. Often scruffy, I do clean up well and get plenty of smiles and flirts.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Too much to list. I read a lot, don't watch TV or see much mainstream hollywood but love independent/fine art/foreign films. I'm musically well educated (cellist and bass/baritone formerly and reemergent), love 'classical', celtic/acoustic/folk, rock & blues, world, etc all over the place. Adventurous with food, gourmande.

The concept of 'favorite books, music, food, (flavors of women)' does not compute. I own enough books to fill a box truck, and my dream house will have a library. Currently on the table are:

Chilton repair manual for Isuzu Trooper
Chart Interpretation Handbook – Arroyo
Planets In Synastry – Neville
Appalachian Trail Thru-Hiker's Companion
Only Four More Miles – 2010 Appalachian Trail Circle Expedition
Sex at Dawn – Ryan/Jetha
The Ethical Slut – Easton/Liszt
Polyamory – The New Love Without Limits – Anapol
The Botany of Desire – Pollen
Legacy of the Heart – Muller
Drama of the Gifted Child – Miller
Centering – Richards
The Way of the Superior Man – Deida
The Brain That Changes Itself – Doidge
The Brain Trust Program – McCleary

Sometimes I want to make a longish list of more specific music that I like, cuz when we see something of strong mutual interest in a profile it gives us something to like in each other and talk about, but I like so much musically that I sometimes skip reading this section. It's fun to discover mutual interests in person, although aesthetic compatibility is important. See, here's an example of my dueling inner natures: I recognize that seeing stuff you like in my music list may inspire you to want to contact me, but I'm also open to discovering wonderful new stuff in your music. Being a cellist and dancer, I prefer lyrical music with some structure and often passion, whether that be Vivaldi or Tori; hence, rap, electronica, and bebop are usually near the bottom of the list. There are always exceptions. And then there's the wind in the trees, the babbling brook, the chorus of bugs.
The six things I could never do without
I'm pretty adaptable and flexible and have had to learn to do without lots of things at times, some that other people in first world countries consider essential, like electricity, running water, or even a place to live. Some things that are very important to me and which I desire passionately are music, art, dancing, communing with earth and her inhabitants, intense conversation, motorcycling, new interests and connections, eroticism, independent thinking, language and symbolism, and KITTIES!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I think a lot, fantasize, daydream, imagine, analyze, design. Often about my goals: artistically, relationally, financially, lifestyle ...
Whatever woodworking or art project I'm involved with,
And of course, sex and current flirtations!
On a typical Friday night I am
There is no typical. Occasionally I am working late, puttering in the shop, or home alone, traveling, reading or computering, or on a date. Often I am going out on the town, listening or dancing to music, or attending an event or party.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I pick the scallops out of the 'seafood delight' at the asian buffet. Not to avoid them; I serve myself only scallops (yum!) and avoid the fake crab and frozen shrimp. I'm an omnivore, and you won't change that, but I have no problem dating vegetarians or people with other dietary restrictions.

Yeah, smartass answer; you get the private stuff in private.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–60
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You're interested in friendship, art, music, dancing, eroticism, motorcycling, outdoors stuff, &/or great intense conversation. Also hopefully cuddling, snuggling, and more. I hope to find loosely fitting but loving connections with passionate, strong, independent women.