And I have very little to say. I dislocated my jaw a few weeks ago, and it's still hurting a little. Interfering with my sleep.....

I was diagnosed with depression, which is AWESOME, let me tell you. </sarcasm>

Oh! I started eating meat again. So.....yeah.

Guess who's going to be a redhead?

He stays up late
and holds her safe,
stroking her hair
as she lays with him.

Pure comfort.

Betrayal and jealously
are first and foremost
running through her head
followed closely by
self doubt,
insecurities,
and self
pity.

They
sit together
and silently
work to relax
and escape
for a brief moment
before they plunge
back into the world
of hurt.

The guy I have a crush on likes my best friend. So, because I'm such a freakin' nice person, I set them up. 

She didn't really like him, but I spent a lot of time telling her all the great thigs about him and how much he likes her. Now she's decided that she likes him back, and so I'm in the middle of the two of them....both telling me how much they like eachother.

Untill they started to tell eachother and now not only does he not like me, he is not talking to me in order to have a better conversation with her.

My general life motto these past few days has been "Give all that you can give, and cry yourself to sleep at night".

I feel like she betrayed me, because she knew how much I liked him. But Also, I have absolutely no right to be upset becasue I pushed her into him.

So I just re-read my own profile. And one paragraph that I apparently wrote when I was PMSing goes

If you talk to me and I use a lot of one word replies, I'm not interested. I'm just to nice to tell you so. Do yourself a favour and move on. I am usually up to chat, but if you are boring, I"m not going to make the effort to liven up the conversation. I have real friends to talk to, and I don't really need you to ask me "Sup". You don't care.

That just makes me laugh every time I read it.

I'm listening to "What if You" by Joshua Radin. And I'm getting really emotional and sappy.

And so I'm sitting here at my Computer. It's chilly, and 11:44. And I'm sobbing at this song.

Wow, i'm a girl.

They changed "stalkers" to "Visitors".

How am I going to make fun of the creepy stalkers now?

What do you mean?
No, it was never I who took
you pride and hung it for
the world to see.

That was he.

He's the one who stole me
with secret glances, hidden touches
a sly kiss on the cheek, maybe
I was to blame, but maybe
the thrill of the hidden romance
was just too much for me.

It's not as if i was yours exclusively.

I broke up with a friend the other day. My supposed "Best friend". Want to know the story? There was this guy....

I bet you can fill in the rest.

I told you
and I told you
and I warned you
this was coming.

I tried my best to fix it
but you've been
so wrapped up
in him
that you can't see.

and I want to SCREAM

OPEN YOUR EYES
Look at what you've done.

DO NOT try to pin this on me.

You're so busy
clinging
to him
that you don't even realize
how far
you've pulled
away.

And you say
I'm far gone...
But I've been here
every step of the way.

Watching you melt
into a creature
singularly
focused
on one being.

And it was NEVER me.

I've thrown you parties.
I wrote you poems.
I brought you flowers
and snuck into the classroom
early on your birthday
with a cake
and a giant
singing balloon
so everybody
everybody
would know
it's my best friends special day.

And you never did anything
like that
for me.

And that was okay...
because I got to spend time with you.

Then he came along.
And I warned you
And I told you
that you were pushing me away.

And now
I don't get to see you alone.
You don't talk to me.

You won't even respond
to the apology I spent a half an hour
writing
to make it sound
perfect.

So
go
with him.

You've made your choice.
And it sucks for me...
but then,
it always really has,
hasn't it?

I don't think you can be in love with someone without being in a relationship with them.

Love is a give-and-take...a trusting net that is built over time. You can't just know someone and be in love with them. You have to build up to love together.

I feel like "Love" is overused and overgeneralized. I Hate using it. Maybe it's because in my world, love is few and far-between.

If you ate your favourite food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner....How long until you began to hate even the sight of it?

They say Guests and Fish both stink after three days...well, I believe Love has a time limit on it as well.  I find people who cling desperately to the shards of love they once had to be desperate. They are only hurting themselves, and can't possibly find more love until they let go.

Such is life, such is love, such is loss.