I am appallingly awful at being a girl. I am not graceful. I do not know how to wear a dress or shop for shoes. I've never owned a purse too small to carry a hardcover book. I can't sustain a conversation with other girls on the myriad shallow topics they seem to enjoy discussing. I cannot flirt without making an ass of myself. However, I think I've got the important stuff down. I've taught myself to bake pies from scratch, crust and all; I figure if I can master the art of cooking a steak, I'll prove myself indispensable.

Working, saving money, taking photography classes and spending as much time in the darkroom as campus security will allow.

Baking pies.

Pinhole photography.

Driving. And swearing at people who drive inefficiently. If you've ever driven a vehicle in the greater Phoenix metro area, chances are I've lobbed some choice invectives your way. I'm sorry, but seriously, you need to use your turn signal and get out of the left lane.

Scrabble. (I will own your pansy ass.)

Maneuvering through bustling crowds to get in lines first or score better seats at the movies. I'm short and fast.

That I look familiar even though we've never met, or that I look like somebody's sister, even though I have no siblings.

Also, that I'm wearing a totally rad t-shirt.

Movies: The Third Man, Notorious, most things by the Coen Brothers (Big Lebowski, No Country for Old Men, Raising Arizona, etc.), Blade Runner, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, The Wrestler, Lost in Translation, The Hustler, Children of Heaven, A Face in the Crowd, The Godfather, Princess Mononoke, The Shining (and Kubrick in general), Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park... and to be honest, I'm kind of a Spielberg whore. Yes, I know he's overly sentimental. Yes, I know the last Indiana Jones movie sucked. Yes, I know that totally makes me uncool. I don't care. I'm unapologetic.

Books: The Sound and the Fury (and all things Faulkner), Peter Pan, Flannery O'Connor, Jane Eyre, The Lord of the Rings, Watchmen, To Kill a Mockingbird, Cormac McCarthy, East of Eden, Lolita, Middlesex, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, The Time Traveler's Wife, The Great Gatsby, The Martian Chronicles.

Music: Radiohead, The Decemberists, Andrew Bird, The Black Keys, Jeff Buckley, Led Zeppelin, Okkervil River, David Bowie, The Doors, Fleet Foxes, Neko Case, The Postal Service, Queen, Rufus Wainwright.

1. The internet. I honestly can't remember what the world was like before I had easy access to it.

2. A camera.

3. A book.

4. Diet Coke.

5. My iPhone. Yes, I'm one of those people.

6. Hollywood Fashion Tape.

How to make money off of infrared pinhole camera photography.

Being a space pirate.

At a movie, a coffee shop or book store, or drinking beer and/or playing Trivial Pursuit/Scrabble with friends. And sometimes wishing I lived somewhere cooler than Phoenix.

My mom is really sick and it's turned me into a basket full of crazy.

Consider yourself warned.

You know how to make money off of infrared pinhole photography.

You have, or are willing to grow, anachronistic sideburns.