Often aloof, an aesthete with an appreciation for the unusual as well as the mundane, a lover of smooth curves and jagged edges, predatory yet nurturing, patient yet uncompromising, flinchingly yet thoroughly honest, a hopeful cynic, humble yet given to hubris... Fond of general debauchery, indulgence and moderation... asphyxiation or cuddling... loneliness, love and lust... watching people watch things... finding beauty in strange places...

...a little taste of everything, so long as it's deep.

I have a weakness for fallen angels, curvy goth girls, freakish features, red hair; kissing, sarcasm, insight, a nice accent, intelligence and good conversation. Sadly, I must admit, I'm *really* a sucker for a pretty face...;)

My musical tastes are broad, but the mainstays are industrial (Nine Inch Nails, Ministry, TKK, Manson, etc.), ebm (covenant, VNV Nation, Apoptygma Berzerk, etc.), electronica (Underworld, Chemical Brothers, etc.), 80's stuff, and various assorted gems like The Cure, Tool, Portishead... I'm really _really_ a music person though, and I appreciate a much wider range of genres than that...but through convenience, that's what I tend towards...wish that I knew more blues....good stuff, that.

Though I am much more of an editor than a creator, I do fancy myself an artist and a writer...perhaps moreso in spirit than in practice, though I do have at least a coupla pieces I'm quite proud of. I dig on Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, Terry Pratchett, erotica and fetish photography, and very very much on good photomanipulation.

I like my philosophy fresh from the palate, not just regurgitations of the secret thoughts of bitter old men. (not that I don't have any admiration for philosophers in general, it's just that I find it hard to swallow when people seem to embrace an entire set of ideals, rather than take these guidelines and apply their own thought)

(counting down the days...soon I will destroy this profile and start again from scratch -11/04/09)

Packaging product for an international drug syndicate. (er, but not what you'd think)

Also working at a nightclub DJing and doing lights. It's a labor of love though. (and occasionally lust)

New rule for self: No more messaging on a whim. ;)

Playing devil's advocate...

Random acts of kindness...preferably upon the unsuspecting, and preferably without being caught in the act.

Helping people explore their boundaries.

Seeing myriad different sides of a situation...a mixed blessing...often makes me very slow with decisions.

Starting mix CDs. Not always so good at finishing them.

My long black hair...well below the waist.

Or maybe they don't. I've been getting an awful lot of "Oh my god, your hair is getting so looong!" comments lately. No, really, it's not. It's the same length it usually is (give or take a few few inches, depending on when I last trimmed), and your brain is just playing tricks on you.
Hmm...more hair than most people's brains can comprehend?

Perhaps.

Books: Lots of Stephen King, graphic novels/comics (Neil Gaiman, Garth Ennis, J. Michael Straczynski, Grant Morrison, etc)

Movies: Dark comedies, or things with quirky interesting characters. I also really tend to be a sucker for sad, strange or really fucked-up love stories...I've noticed that that's where my favorites tend to lie (Amélie, The House Of Yes, Sleep With Me, The Professional, American Beauty, Natural Born Killers, Peter Jackson's King Kong, Wings Of Desire, Frida) Other favorites include: The Last Supper, Pulp Fiction, Trainspotting, Fight Club, Desperado, Four Rooms, Boondock Saints, Wristcutters: A Love Story, Donnie Darko, Snatch and The Usual Suspects.

I don't watch almost any television ever, but that's mostly a time preference and only a tiny bit of snobbery. There's some pretty good shows out there, and if I have time, I like to catch them on DVD. I own the whole of 'Six Feet Under' but haven't yet had the chance to finish the series. Also good: Firefly, Dexter, Heroes. etc..

Music: See above. I used to have a bigass name-droppingly wonderful list of bands that were, for some reason or another, important to me, or at least mildly amusing. I notice now, that when I read other people's profiles, I care a lot less about that shit. Musical tastes are important to me, but often it's more of a measure of attitude and openness.
I've been listening to music at work a lot lately, so, in the company of other people. Lots of music that I generally wouldn't be listening to, but, I like it, for the most part. It saddens me that a lot of the music that _I_ would like to be listening to would _not_ be so well recieved.
This has caused me to reflect on (what is for me) an age old conflict: Sadly, in any given relationship, it is typically the more restrictive partner that governs all shared interactions. Not just music of course, but everything. Food, sex, movies, sleep, finances, interior decoration, everything.
Hmm.
Today, I'm tired of not having any bands listed. Favorites are: Nine Inch Nails, Underworld, Portishead, Leonard Cohen and Guns 'N' Roses.
Favorite song, ever: Tool - Stinkfist.
Other favorites, somewhere in my top 10: VNV Nation - Darkangel, Counting Crows - Anna Begins, Snog - The Ballad, Nine Inch Nails - A Warm Place, Leonard Cohen - Suzanne.

Foods: I like to eat. (Hmm. Girls too) ;)

Sorry, that was crude. True, but crude. ;)

Personal freedom.
Intimacy.
Trust.
Art/Creativity.
Beauty.

Sixish things from the older, shallower, less currently relevant list: Great music and lots of it. Stimulating conversation, great food, highspeed internet, standard transmissions, and growth/exploring boundaries.

Newly* discovered must-haves: For me: -Independence. -Personal space. For them: -Appreciation of beauty. In all of its forms**. (I already have this thing) -Self confidence, or, at the very least, a lack of hatred for the self.

*I mean...I say 'newly' but they've always been there...but recently I've begun to appreciate them as deeply important, rather than just generally good.

**I recognize the word 'all' to be ridiculous, but I'm generally sick of associating with people without a palate. Or a palette for that matter.

Atypical relationship issues with atypical people. ;)

How about recent thoughts, rather than common ones? (but really, who are we kidding...I won't update again for some time) I recently went to a fondue restaurant for the first time. While I was there, I realized that this was the ideal eating style for me. First, there were lots of unique items to try. Then, once I had done all of that, there were many many interesting _combinations_ to try.
I also realized moments later, that this was pretty much my dating style as well.

I wish that OKC was still making more prevalent use of their 'Dating Persona Test'. I always found it to be an uncannily useful tool predictor of what someone's profile/character would be like.

Out...peoplewatching...hoping to catch something unique...often whilst working at my night job.

I try to live a transparent life. If there is something you want to know, ask me.

(lame. I hate reading profiles that say that kinda thing. I'll try to post something, anything here in this space. Soon. -edited 10/29/2007)
Isn't that lame though?
Really. That's been up for a year and a half now. (06/09/2009)

So, new promise to update soon.

I have a brand new beautiful baby boy, but things are shaky on the home front -harder than ever before, so things are going to be rough for a while. (post 10/2008)

My monogamy bone is broken. I've always said that, but now it's truer than ever. Truth be told, I don't know that I'll ever be doing the 'relationship' thing again in any format. I like having people in my life, but I don't think I ever want to be made to feel like I'm responsible for the well-being of another grown adult ever again. I've always said that the perfect girl for me...has better shit to do. Independence has probably become the single most important characteristic I could hope to find in another person. (07/24/09)
I hate the way that the above 'sounds' though. It's true, of course, but i just don't feel like it fully encapsulates the love I have for people in all their various forms. I'm not just cold and bitter and broken, I promise! I just don't want to deal with any o' that shit in my personal life anymore. ;)

Editors

• dollie-xa

...ANY of this was interesting. I've listed off a lot of things up there, but if anything, I'm particularly fond of variety...I may have a few favorite dishes, but that'll never stop my taste for well seasoned exotic fare.

Oh. And don't abuse the fuckin' apostrophe. Thanks. Thanks.

After some recent profilebrowsing, and seeing some beautiful, remarkable things, I realize that I'm just missing an awful lot of the joy and pleasant adventure that I was once accustomed to...but I guess it's still out there. One day...