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109 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:32pm
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
English (Fluently), Persian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
The scientists who raised me report that I'm an INTJ. Before my release, they docked all of my tails. Walked around Swann's Way and met a dog called Dawn Coyote. We talked about the ruination of the world. She wept over the death of Rocinante. I couldn't remember him or his long face, owing to facial blindness. I just shrugged and took more medication.

I'm not adept at self promotion.

The only thing soft in my life are a few animals that don't belong to me. Some are cats, some are humans.

Pros: Opens package without damaging contents. Pleasantly delusional. Ectomorphic-athletic. I have a career that kids say they want to grow up to do because they haven't known acute anxiety or heavy drinking yet.

Cons: Kitchen is perpetual arson scene. The other day I cooked and couldn't figure out where the food ended and the plate began, so I dumped it in the toilet to cut out the middle man. Also, I turn down entreaties of arachnicide. I handcuff them and set them loose, into the misty wilderness. I don't have a television so I scry the horrified faces of everyone I meet to get my stories of the world. Allergic to synthetic perfumes. I can't remember what happened the day I was born but I suspect I've worn this meat suit for approximately 12,500 days.

Tell me your best ghost story. I don't care if it don't have any ghosts in it, people are weirder than ghosts anyway.
I’m really good at
Shuffleboard after exactly two beers. Before and after two beers, and the window is shut.
The first things people usually notice about me
I can't sprout verdant beards and I make eye contact selectively. My viking genetics have forsaken me on both these counts.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
- the spotted couscous
- flying foxes
- terrestrial foxes are pretty cool too and can hang
- Tom Waits
- most marsupials

- Tapatio
- Cholula
- Franks
At breakfast, and seeing the two together, I often like to imagine that the lady on the Cholula bottle is the secret lover of the mariachi on the Tapatio bottle, and they're involved in some sordid scam to rob the Tabasco company.

Marcus Aurelius, Jean Genet, David Lynch, Henry Miller, Nick Cave, Screamin Jay Hawkins, William S. Burroughs, Diamanda Galas, Joy Division, Coil, Dirty Beaches, Darkthrone, Vegan Black Metal Chef, Hildegard von Bingen, Cormac McCarthy, Tim Curry, Stanley Kubrick, David Warner, H.P. Lovecraft, Aleister Crowley, Bathory, The Soft Moon, Savages, Jacques Dutronc, Georges Bataille, Iceberg Slim.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a weird job that I sorta love with long unusual hours. This is great for me but my intense career life is a jagged, mighty basalt cliff that relationships have wrecked themselves on. If you are interested in someone who will be around all the time and up in your business, you're probably not looking for me.

Someone on this site told me my profile was "the most painfully unfunny attempt at being funny" she had ever come across. I find this confusing, but I'll wear it as a badge of honor. You have to excel at something.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–43
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
The unruly tension between two people meeting for the first time in the desert doesn't erupt in gunfire. Also, I'm expectation free. I don't think too hard whether you want to be a passing comet or a new lunar satellite. I welcome all of them (one at a time).

You probably want to be alone with someone who wants to be alone, so complicated!