I'd like to meet new people. Like you, maybe. It would be nice to get outside of my circle of friends from time to time and add a few new members.

I'm not on an active search for The One. If The One came along that would be swell and I wouldn't say no. But I think it would be great, too, just meeting a drama-avoidant someone who likes to go to art stuff and hike.

About me: avid hiker and reader, INTJ, arts consumer, tattoo enamored, international traveler, ex feral mohawked punk-rocker, bleeding heart liberal, impromptu 1 am beach tripper, idiosyncratic, community volunteer/politically involved, quasi-Portland native.

Proudly introverted; but, I apparently have facial blindness (yeah, I thought it sounded made-up too) and these two things conspire brilliantly to make me socially awkward.

I work in emergency management. Trucks with big flashy lights and noisemakers. Which is mostly convenient, since my misadventures at cooking make my kitchen a perpetual arson scene.

I am learning to cook, though! Emphasis on learning. On my last dish, I couldn't figure out where the food ended and the plate began. I dumped it in the toilet to cut out the middle man.

As you might have guessed, I lied about my age. I'm not 107. I work with people who show up on OKC and I inflate my age to hide my profile from them. No paranoia, I just like to keep my personal life personal. I'm 36.

Or I'm lying about lying and I'm actually a 107 year old non-sparkly vampire.

Shuffleboard after exactly two beers. Before and after two beers, and the window is shut.

That I can't grow an awesome beard. I don't know why. I look at pictures of my dad and uncles in the 70s and they look like they're always on their way to the next Viking beauty pageant. You'd think I would have inherited such traits.

I'm only bringing this up because I read a lot of profiles that say "having a beard is a plus!" It's troublesome to those of us who are mandibularly follically challenged. I just can't grow a good one, no matter how hard I sit down and concentrate.

FAVORITE ANIMALS:
- the spotted couscous
- flying foxes
- terrestrial foxes are pretty cool too and can hang
- Tom Waits
- most marsupials

FAVORITE HOT SAUCE BRANDS:
- Tapatio
- Cholula
- Franks
At breakfast, and seeing the two together, I often like to imagine that the lady on the Cholula bottle is the secret lover of the mariachi on the Tapatio bottle, and they're involved in some sordid scam to rob the Tabasco company. Maybe I watch too much Univision.

Preferred reading: Charles Bukowski, Georges Bataille, Haruki Murakami, William S. Burroughs, Henry Miller, Arthur Rimbaud, Michele Foucault, Jean Genet.

Right now listening to: Bat for Lashes, Nick Cave, Bobby Womack, Wire, Lia Ices, swans, The Soft Moon, Siouxie and the Banshees, Ensemble Organum, Diamanda Galas, Oum Kalthoum, Nurse with Wound, Joy Division, Fairuz, The Black Keys, fuckin' Kanye, Edith Piaf, Screamin Jay Hawkins, Elvis, Coil, Bauhaus, Current93, Gordon Lightfoot, DIO, Neko Case, Hector Zazou, Kate Bush, Slayer, Mulatu Astatke, Interpol, Beach House, and the soundtracks to David Lynch films.

Really, honestly? How there are entire universes of experience and private battles present in every passing stranger I meet. That for most people, I'll only read two or three pixels of punctuation in a book that's been written for a lifetime. And how the loss of all that context makes communicating with people challenging.

That, and Game of Thrones. Joffrey? Total douche.

Staying at home. Friday nights are for amateurs. I'm at Beulahland pretty much every Sunday night though.

You're interesting, and you found me interesting enough to read this far. And, you don't hang out with someone just because the people who broadcast radio signals through the fillings in your teeth told you to. That doesn't end well.