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26 Ottawa, Ontario, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 2:43pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I seldom take myself seriously, occasionally say the wrong thing, usually do the right thing, and always use an oxford comma. I think that there are very few things in life worth getting upset over which I suppose makes me pretty easy going. I'm also sarcastic enough to get under some people's skin and am probably not as funny as I think I am.

Some of my favorite activities with clothes on include consuming media, meeting new people, cooking, and learning new things. I'm fit enough to fight a handful of zombies, but would probably die of starvation to be useful in an apocalypse scenario.

I have no piercings or tattoos, and think motorcycles are unsafe. On the other hand I'm really good at waggling my eyebrows and can do a decent blue steel.

I'm inappropriately flirty at job interviews, and inappropriately shy on first dates but after a bit I may warm up to "pretty ok".
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I spend a lot of time sitting in front of a computer thinking about code. I spend the rest of my time cooking up feasts, being incapable of turning down beer and board games, pretending to be a grownup, and looking for love in all the wrong places.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I will obliterate you at cuddling, I will cuddle laps around your inferior cuddles. My cuddles are so tight, baby animals abandon their mothers when they see me working it. I will cuddle coal into diamond. November 9th, 1989, the berlin wall went down -- cuddled. My cuddles are so fresh they are an FDA approved food preservative. My cuddles are so addictive I'm under surveillance by the DEA. If my cuddles were a WMD, the nap fallout would last thousands of years. Pillow forts are for chumps, I build snuggle palaces. I will roll you up in a blanket burrito so cozy it violates the first law of thermodynamics. Battery dead? I can cuddle-start an engine. I once won a trophy for most sophisticated cuddle. I made it myself, out of cuddles. In 1988, Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time" brought scientific literacy to the masses, the revised 1996 edition posits new theories about my cuddles.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I read a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" a while back. Chapter 2 said something along the lines of: everyone loves dogs, behave more like a dog.

So short answer: My nose pressed insistently against their anus.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read a pretty broad mix of popular fiction and classics. Big soft spot for fantasy and sci-fi. The bit where Sansa kills Christian Grey and has a threesome with the Weasley twins was crazy. Crazy gone... girl? If you've read anything by R. Scott Bakker then lets be bffs.

Aladdin is the best Disney classic, super hero movies are tacky but entertaining, True Lies is the definitive action/rom-com, Die Hard is the best Christmas movie, and I will probably never see Need For Speed: Tokyo Drift. Also The Fifth Element wins at crazy nonsense, In Bruges makes me nerd out about scripts and storytelling, and I used to watch animated movies on loop while working.

Teevee is cool too. I know all the pop culture references. Danger zone? Mathematical! Ron Swanson. Science, bitch. Is anyone else watching Danger 5? I'm completely out of touch with reality TV and gameshow type deallies, stories without writers aren't as interesting to me.

food-wise there isn't much I wouldn't eat (assuming it's food). But I have a special appreciation for sushi, deep fried/semi-deep fried pub fare, the occasional bowl-o-pho, and mom's cooking. Also pierogies, oh man, little doughy bundles of potato heaven.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Backpacking for a bit has taught me that I simply cannot do without the following:
-My own kitchen.
-A regular bed, of the non-bunk variety.
-My keyboard (purely decorative).
-Space to put my stuff.
-My fans (I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you guys!).
-Crystal Meth.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-The best cookie is Oreos.
-Comic book science.
-The best cookie is actually Fudgeeos.
-Career stuff.
-Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
-The intricacies of human interaction.
-Cat pictures.
-The children.
-How to reconcile the self with the myriad of competing forces therein.
-But seriously it's Oreos.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drunk, like any well adjusted adult.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I just looked it up, and it's actually "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift", I'm not going to correct it though.

For real though, I fucking love going to the grocery store on dates.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-You have a strict no-murder policy.
-You are a scintillating conversationalist.
-You are open to the idea of meeting a person in person.
-You'd like to receive a deluge of mirror selfies from me.
-I messaged you first and you don't want to have a poor reply-rate.
-You can beat the end boss for me.
-You are super excited for the next comic book movie, but like me, you're too cool to admit it.