SirStuWallace
30 Johnson City, TN
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SirStuWallace
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My self-summary
OK, I'm going to try a slightly different approach to this.

I have a panic disorder. I've made a lot of progress, but I'm not going to hide from it. For one thing, it's impractical; because the purpose of this site is to meet new people, which is a pretty reliable trigger for anxiety.

That is easily the most private thing I'm going to be able to offer in this entire profile, and I'm LEADING with it. Talk about fucking bold.

Beyond that, the details are hazy. I want to work in local government at the state level in the Southeast. I don't believe there are a lot of voices like mine involved in the discussion in this particular area of the country and I believe that there should be.

I love music. I collect records. I collect used books. I'm probably a little OCD about both of those things. I'm rarely at peace, but a good book or the crackles and pops of an old country record will often do the job.

I don't believe in God, but I believe in people. For a large part of my adult life I mistook cynicism for it's own sake as intelligence.

I'm much more complicated than I want to believe that I am.
What I’m doing with my life
I am taking some poli-sci courses this summer because I still have some Pell grant eligibility and I'm trying to become a more discerning and better informed citizen of the world.

I will be interning for Organizing For America in the fall. I don't want to become an operative for a political party, but I am interested in connecting to the political temperature of the region.
I’m really good at
Trivia, armchair quarterbacking games of Jeopardy, singing, dancing, writing, finding common ground.

Less good at saving face.
The first things people usually notice about me
I don't know that I can answer this. Truthfully, I'm fairly non-descript at first glance. Average height, weight and attractiveness. I have a horrible fashion sense that I blame on my parents.

I'm pretty goddamn funny though; so I guess the first thing people notice about me is that they just shit their pants because i'm so unrelentingly goddamn funny.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
William Faulkner is my favorite author. I love books that give you a sense of time and place. I'm much more moved by those things than I am in the particulars of a narrative.

Raiders of the Lost Ark is my favorite movie. Upstream Color is the best movie I've seen this year. The Room is probably the best movie of all time.

I watch a lot of sports. Any sports really. Sports mystify me. I've never been good at them, which is probably why I find them fascinating.

The Wire is my favorite show of all time. It legitimately made me a better person. Friday Night Lights is the only piece of visual media that has made me cry since I became an adult.

I love music. I'm not even going to attempt to parse a selection of bands or songs from memory that will do that statement justice. If you want to talk about music, I can talk to you forever.

I harbor a lot of guilt about food. Like, I love eating chocolate, but so much chocolate available to us is a direct product of West African slavery. I love eating steak, but raising cattle at the pace we do in America is devastating to the environment. I would be more at peace if I could transition to vegetarianism. I whole-heartedly intend to try one of these days.
The six things I could never do without
People, Places, Things, Thoughts, Feelings and Emotions.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Everything. Too much. All the time.

Specifically I've been pouring over the line "If you're so clever, then why are you on your own tonight?" from "I Know It's Over" by The Smiths.

What the fuck, Morrissey? I thought you had my back.

That entire portion of the song has to be the most devastating artistic statement of the last 50 years.
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading a book, listening to music, drinking beer casually.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
This might not have been the best decision for my self-esteem.

I want to use my second effort at this Internet dating thing as an exercise in trying to cut through the bullshit that accompanies the modern Western courtship process. I want to be transparent for once. I want to be unguarded and vulnerable. I want to see what happens when you tell the truth to someone from the start. And not just the truth as it pertains to one's historical record, but the living truth. Why I am where I am. The things about me that don't define who I am but nonetheless currently effect how I live. The reasons I feel compelled to be saying this here rather than saying something more conventionally charming to some woman at a bar somewhere. The truth is where you've been and where you want to go. The living truth is how you intend to get there and it's messy and complicated and we try every day to hide it from one another because we're embarrassed or ashamed or because it complicates things too quickly. I believe that things are already complicated. They are complicated for me, and they are complicated for you (even if I don't know who you are yet) and they won't get any less complicated when they are added together. So let's own those complications from the beginning.
You should message me if
You should probably just do it. What's the worst that can happen? All of the potential outcomes of your life remain the same if you send me a message, you can only add to them. And I'll almost certainly respond. Maybe we make life better for one another, maybe we make it worse. There's only one way to find out.
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