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Sir_Sarcastobot

42 Richmond, VA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 21–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Dec 16
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Ancient Greek (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am in a happy & secure Polyamorous marriage with Silentmeow_taco.

My girlfriend is also pretty spiffy. Trapscallion

If you aren't familiar with polyamory and you're curious you can always head over to Wikipedia for a start. There's lots of nifty references and everything!

If you are familiar with the term and it troubles you then you should probably move along.

Random facts about me in no particular order:

I'm an INFJ if that's your thing.

I like Fall & Winter better than Spring & Summer.

I've lived in 9 different states and have visited every state in the continental US.

I get bored with my appearance and change it. Frequently.

Animals will win me over faster than any human.

I've been hit by a car twice in my life. So be patient when
we're crossing the street as I look both ways several SEVERAL times.

I'm overly analytical.

I found out at the age of 18 that my step-father was a professional con artist. It went a long way toward explaining why we moved so often. Haven't seen him since.

I've been scuba diving in the Bahamas on the wreck of the Sopora. Some of you might know that this is in the Bermuda Triangle. Oooooooohhhhhhh.

I really dig thrift and antique stores.

I lurk on Reddit & post on Fark way too much.

I am responsible for starting a major fire which burned for days.

For a couple of years my parents worked for the same carnival that Steve Martin's character worked for in the movie 'The Jerk'. Those are some of my earliest memories, actually.

I found out the hard way that jumping a car off of a ramp in real life isn't like jumping a car off of a ramp in the movies. You hurt and your car is wrecked. Hey, I was 16.

The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past is the best game of all time. If you don't agree then you're wrong.

I once lived in a tent on the outskirts of Las Vegas for a few months.

I am a pinball wizard.

I was once in the hospital for almost 4 months. This may correlate to one of those times a car attacked me.

I believe that schum thingsh in heah don't react well to bullitsh.

My car is a Decepticon.

I have super-human rhythm and yet I cannot dance. At all.

I'll acknowledge the possibility of almost anything but will never believe it without empirical evidence.

Women who can make me laugh have already won.

I want to start a comedy troupe to make ridiculous short films.

Ruined buildings and abandoned places interest me. Abandoned amusement parks are so creepily captivating.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
~ Working in a career that I absolutely love.

~ Expanding my horizons & enjoying the adventure of life and everything that comes with it.

~ Creating videos for my own amusement. You can see some of them here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/tangentialmedia/videos?flow=grid&view=0
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Sarcasm
Making people laugh.
Learning songs by ear.
Quoting movies.
Knowing obscure facts.
Writing parody songs.
Minecraft. Don't judge.
Articulating thoughts.
Figuring people out.
Pissing people off.
I am good at computer.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My sense of humor
My brain
My sarcasm

...probably not in that order.

Also this seems to happen a lot:

"Are you okay? You look mad."

Nope, not mad. I'm actually in a great mood. But hey, thanks. Seriously do I look mad?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Although I'm an avid reader & cinephile, I sometimes feel the urge to pour on the pretension and make of list of literary & cinema classics that one is socially obligated to say they enjoy. But the truth is that while my tastes are varied, I usually gravitate to the popular staples. So:

Some Authors: King, Palahniuk, Kirkman, Asimov, Adams, Clarke, Sagan

If I had to list a favorite book or story it'd be The Long Walk by Richard Bachman.

Reading comics and graphic novels should be mandatory.

Some Films: Again, I'm a cinephile so this section automatically sucks for making me try to compress my movie preferences into something short enough that someone could read without their eyes glazing over.

Primer, Jaws, Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead (1978), Day of the Dead, Idiocracy, The Hunt For Red October, Fight Club, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Team America (F*** Yeah), Alien, Fargo, Rounders, Better off Dead, Star Wars, Star Trek, Tombstone, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Smokey and the Bandit, Jackie Brown, Goodfellas...this is why I hate this. A lot, okay? Don't judge me. STOP JUDGING ME!

The TV box: The Walking Dead, Orange is the New Black, BSG, House of Cards, Face Off, you know what, I'm not doing this. You get the idea.

(Okay, South Park)

Foodz: I should really have a flowchart for this. Is it green? Okay, but does it smell like dirt? Ugh, does it taste different than it smells? EFF YOU MOST GREEN STUFF!

(Fine, I'll have a garden salad)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Never? That seems a little extreme. How about six things I'd rather not do without in no particular order:

The internet
A camera
A guitar
Close friends
Animal companions
A sense of purpose
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Like, oh my god, did Jake Ryan look at me in English class? I think he looked at me. Maybe he was looking at the girl behind me. I wonder where she got her shoes. That bitch. They're clearly knockoffs and...I don't know. I don't really spend an inordinate amount of time deep in thought on any one thing unless it's something that requires my immediate attention. Life's too short to sweat the small stuff. [end cliché]
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
More than likely doing one or more of the following:

Playing music, Enjoying the company of friends, Watching a movie, Playing a video or board game, Playing poker, Writing or shooting a video.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The most private thing I'm willing to admit to the general public? Sometimes, a few hours after I eat I have to use the bathroom. Also, at night I tend to fall asleep.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit to someone face to face? Pretty much anything. Secrets are cancer.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Hey, you made it this far so message me just to say I'm a dork. Message me to argue about movies. Message me to tell me that leveling up my undead warlock was a bad idea and my time would have been better spent on a rogue instead. Message me to tell me you think I'm funny/unfunny.

You can safely ignore all of the above suggestions if you're insane, drunk, dishonest or just take yourself too seriously.

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