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SkunkhairJones

34 M Manassas, VA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 3:59am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Hispanic / Latin
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Catholicism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Two-year college
Job
Management
Income
$40,000–$50,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has a kid
Pets
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I've been answering these profile questions anxiously awaiting "Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or ten duck-sized horses?" But, alas, it has not yet come. The world may never know my awesome answer now.

But allow me to fill you in on other interesting* tidbits.

I spend 8 hours or more a day being serious-managing-leadership guy. So I like to separate my work and not work personas. Though, my work persona likes to peek its ugly alpha head sometimes and interfere with my life. Next thing you know I'm volunteering to lead a nationally recognized soccer supporter group in my spare time.

I sometimes care too much about things and people I shouldn't care about. Like, whether people are going to notice that my spiky hair looked better yesterday than it does today. Or Jon Lovitz.

I'm pretty convincing at making you believe I know exactly what I'm doing right up until the point of no return. At which point it will be an outstanding success or it will be a story you will tell your grandkids. "Yeah, I remember that time this guy took me on a Native American spiritual journey. 'It'll be fun' he said. Anyway, 5 days later after the park rangers found us naked, lost, and 14 miles away from camp..."

Believe it or not, I am pretty well grounded and live a pretty serious adult life. Yeah, I may be a little introverted at first, but if I can manage a smile out of you then that's all I need to expose myself. Not in that way. No. Jeez.

*Actual claims of tidbits being interesting have not been verified.
What I’m doing with my life
My aspirations of being the next Nathan Lane were put on hold as I took a career in retail management. It still allows me to practice the patented Nathan Lane loud hysterical weeping.

I'm also trying to be a full-time father on a part-time schedule. It would be so much easier if I had a TARDIS.

Otherwise, I'm in a good point in my life.
I’m really good at
Singing showtunes at the top of the my lungs in my car. I have put on full one-man productions. I have a love of theatre which is where my love of attention comes from.

I'm also fluent in the languages of pop culture, internet memes, and the fandom languages. Allow me to demonstrate.
"Benedict Cucumberpatch. Allons-y! Crazy Eyes is my spirit animal. I'll be your 10 to your Rose. Socially awkward penguin is always my spirit animal. I can't even. All the feels. Seriously, my mind was blown at the latest episode of Sherlock."

Delivering well-timed jokes.
The first things people usually notice about me
My dimples. They're cute. Dimples are always cute. If you disagree then you must hate babies. It's the only logical reasoning.

That and my quick ability to make people baby haters. Nobody likes baby haters other than other baby haters.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Spoon River Anthology
Angels In America
RENT
Hedwig And The Angry Inch
Jesus Christ Superstar
Chicken
BBC
Nights at the theatre
Beatles
Portishead
Rapcore (yeah, I know, I'm still living in the 90s)
Reddit
D.C. United
Arsenal
The six things I could never do without
-An outlet for my commentary on a subject. It's funny and I need someone to hear it, dammit!
-Someone who will always understand my humor
-Being told that I'm an idiot and I'm wrong. Sometimes.
-My bicycle (I don't believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein or Superman. All I want to do is BICYCLE!)
-My memory of every single song lyric that I currently know.
-A good pair of socks.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
1: Why do checks even exist any more? We are this close to transferring money via telepathy and people still write checks at the grocery store.
2: How could I have done that better? I constantly want to do better.
On a typical Friday night I am
Just getting off of work and I'm exhausted and just want to go home and lay in bed. But then my phone rings and it's a friend inviting me out for some drinks. To which I reply, "Hells to the yes!" In the event that my phone does not ring I patiently sit in my room staring at my phone while watching one of many various video streaming services. Sometimes it rings. Sometimes it doesn't. Either way, I'm enjoying the night.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
One time I was hanging out at the mall with some friends. We were walking through Macy's on our way to the garage. We had just entered the store and this middle-aged lady is walking towards us. Out of nowhere she slips on something on the floor and all I see and hear is her give a loud awkward-sounding yelp and proceed to fall forward and face plant on the floor. Everyone runs to her aid. Except me. I run away. Laughing my ass off because I visually found the entire scenario hilarious. It was like a real-life physical gag. Naturally, afterwards, I felt horrible. But it was that moment I pretty much secured my spot in hell.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–54
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You want a new friend to make you laugh. You want someone to hang out with. Cuddle with. Watch netflix with. Do the hanky panky with. If you laughed instead of rolled your eyes at my use of "hanky panky." You're open to whatever possibilities there are, and are comfortable laying out your expectations early on so we're both on the same page.