I don't entirely know what a self summary is. I thought the entire profile was a self summary. So, this will instead be a stream of consciousness:

I appreciate grammar. I might make fun of you for bad grammar.

Jon Stewart is probably the best newscaster on TV. Not least of all because people actually listen to him.

I want a dog. I think leaving a dog in an apartment all day long is tantamount to animal cruelty. This is a life conundrum.

Having tried each of running, yoga, kickboxing, weightlifting, and crossfit, I have learned one thing: yoga is terrible.

The most interesting man in the world was actually Ernest Hemingway.

Drinking on a Tuesday night....and wondering how terrible I'll feel at 6 AM when my alarm goes off.

I'm from the east coast. Apparently for me this is an external trait, because I wear polo shirts and boat shoes, and still think New York City is the greatest place on earth.

Huge sucker for the epic TV series:
Homeland
Game of Throne
Mad Men
Boardwalk Empire

If you know what the Lost Generation means when it comes to books, we'll get along very well:
Hemingway
Fitzgerald
e.e cummings

I like either very simple comfort foods or going for something really complicated and delicious. Most of the time, I'm perfectly happy making myself chicken strips or a burger on the grill, but I also love splurging on some really great french or japanese cuisine. Italian food is fantastic, but it takes a lot to live up to my grandma's cooking, so I'm picky and judgmental of Italian places.

Coffee
Whisky
...After a minute I couldn't come up with any others. Perhaps that sums it up.

Companies. What they're worth, how to invest in them, how to make them better, how to win. Yes, this also happens to be my job, but I absolutely love it and might be a little obsessed.

I really don't expect anyone to share this or understand it, but if there isn't something that you can't stop thinking about and become really passionate about, we probably won't get along.

My mom picked out 90% of the furniture in my place. I like having chairs and couches to sit and lie on, but don't really have the 'give-a-shit-about-interior-decoration' gene.

You actually have enough confidence to message a guy. I get that most girls like the guy to "take the first step" and strike up a conversation. But it's the 21st century and your foremothers have been all about this women's empowerment thing for like 100 years by now, so take some initiative already!