Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"You know, Johnny, watching your love life is like watching aliens
fuck. You're not sure what exactly is going on, but it's both
enchanting and uncomfortable." -An acquaintance of mine.
I'm nerdy and introspective. You probably know the type. Endearing
in a "lost puppy" sort of way, commonly described as a polite young
man by old ladies who don't know any better, social phobia
constantly at war with the fact that I like meeting people and find
them interesting. I'm a little vacuous and spacey. I've been told
I’m a pretty nice person, and sensitive and a good listener and
stuff, but I really have nooo idea where people get that shit
I'm a geek, I'm sarcastic, cynical, and mostly quite soft spoken.
I'm opinionated, but tend to keep my mouth shut. I'm curious and
open minded, and I like accumulating interesting experiences,
anecdotes, and people. By which I mean, as friends, or sources of
fond memories. I don't have a collection of quirky people locked in
my basement, or anything. I feel that part shouldn't *really* need
clarifying, but apparently it does.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
If you happen to figure this out, please let me know. Possibly we
can compare notes. I'm working at an estate agents. Nurturing as
ever a desire for new experiences to make war with my natural
lethargy. I've been going to the gym a lot lately. My ambition is
to become one of those smug gits that airily claims their body
feels weird whenever they can't go, right now it still feels like
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Uhhh... computer games, reading those weird SCUBA diving tables
that help you work out whether or not you'll die of nitrogen
poisoning if you go diving again within the next hour, criticizing
the tactics of the hapless idiots in horror movies to anyone who'll
even pretend to listen, getting lost and not minding too much,
being logical and calm.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have no idea, myself, so I decided to ask my friends, and then
quote them. This was a terrible fucking idea, because they all said
some variation of "You look like you lost your way to Hogwarts",
which I think is a sign that I need new friends.
I guess if you asked people that weren't goddamn nerds, they
usually comment on how tall I am. Or my eyelashes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smith. The Player of Games
by Iain M Banks. Of Mice and Men, Travels with Charlie, Cannery Row
and Log from the Sea of Cortez by John Steinbeck. Life of Pi by
Yann Martel. Incompetence by Rob Grant. About a Boy, A Long Way
Down and Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby. The Way of Kings by Brandon
Sanderson. American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Old Man's War by John
Scalzi. What Was Lost by Catherine O'Hara. John Dies at the End by
David Wong. Games of Thrones by George R.R. Martin.
Movies: Cloverfield, Children of Men, Bourne Ultimatum, Dog
Soldiers, Serenity, Blues Brothers, Four Weddings and a Funeral,
Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, When Harry Met Sally,
Love Actually, Ocean's 11, Wall E, Submarine, Doomsday, Shortbus,
Grosse Pointe Blanke, Slumdog Millionaire, Avatar, Little White
Lies, Inception, Guardians of the Galaxy... I like movies.
Surrealist films generally piss me off, and I think watching
2001: A Space Odyssey is what it feels like to die. In slow
Music: Cake. Magnetic Fields. Jukebox the Ghost. Dresden Dolls.
Snow Patrol. Aerosmith. Queen. Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Eels.
Radiohead. Leonard Cohen. TV On the Radio. Cage the Elephant.
Modest Mouse. Tally Hall. Elbow. Tom Waits. Bloodhound Gang. System
of a Down. Tenacious D. Fat boy Slim. Searson. Flobots. Glitch
I also develop a profound appreciation for D&B and chiptunes
when I'm high, but most of the time, I'll all about that classic
and indie rock.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Computers. Books. Sarcasm. The Internet. Love. Desserts that have
the word "chocolate" in the description more than twice.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
...Like, everything. Love, philosophy, why people act the way they
do... I daydream constantly. I go over past social interactions in
my mind a lot, positive and negative. I spend a lot of time
thinking about sex, and people's sexual kinks, which I find super
interesting. You're all just so weird and wonderful, dammit.
Especially you over there. Yeah, you, the chick in the Minnie Mouse
dominatrix get up. I just want to poke you all with a stick, or
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Asleep. Playing computer games. Out drinking, though I prefer the
"Wandering around, going to a comedy club, and then sitting under a
tree somewhere and talking about random stuff, possibly in the
middle of a roundabout" kind of drinking, to the "Go to a pub, sit
at a table, stare at the people around you while they text on their
phones, and then decide to just down shots until it all seems less
boring" kind of drinking that I used to tag along on. I sort of
miss being able to get drunk with people and then play Settlers of
Catan or Cards Against Humanity, that seems like a very Boston
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Eh, I don't really have secrets... ask me anything you want and
I'll tell you.
About sex, getting head doesn't usually do it for me. I mean it's
often *nice*, but seldom... you know, concludes things. Please
don't take it personally! Have begun to feel bad for the handful of
disappointed girls who were lovely enough to do it to me, so I feel
like I should come with a warning label, or something : /
Having said that, giving cunnilingus is the closest thing I have to
a fetish, so.
Oh, and I've listed myself as straight because I'm pretty much
exclusively interested in women, but I have hooked up with guys
once or thrice before and I have absolutely zero interest in dating
anyone who's skeeved out by that.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you're anything like the kind of girl referenced in this
"You could tell she was bright from her face. Bright and
forward-looking and relaxed and intelligent about the way she led
her life. American girls often were. They took their lives into
their own hands- that was what they had been brought up to do- and
made the most of them on their own terms. Not like us Brits, Brown
thought, lugubriously fulfilling the duties of our moribund
although not necessarily American, just not... y'know... boring. If
you're sassy and/or petulant, I'll probably adore you :)
Or if you want a gym partner! I'll make you look healthy by
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