"You know, Johnny, watching your love life is like watching aliens fuck. You're not sure what exactly is going on, but it's both enchanting and uncomfortable." -An acquaintance of mine.

I'm nerdy and introspective. You probably know the type. Endearing in a "lost puppy" sort of way, commonly described as a polite young man by old ladies who don't know any better, social phobia constantly at war with the fact that I like meeting people and find them interesting.

I've been told I’m a pretty nice person, and sensitive and a good listener and stuff, but I really have nooo idea where people get that shit from. In the interests of full disclosure, I have also been told I am "kind of reptilian and use girls like heatrocks".

I'm extremely vacuous and spacey, which normally comes across as having no sense of personal responsibility. Hopefully you will find that appealing rather than annoying :) I find myself in the frustrating position of being extremely attracted to interesting and proactive opinionated women, while defaulting to a somewhat sedantry existence myself.

I'm a geek, I'm sarcastic, cynical, and mostly quite soft spoken. I'm opinionated, but tend to keep my mouth shut. I'm curious and open minded, and I like accumulating interesting experiences, anecdotes, and people. By which I mean, as friends, or sources of fond memories. I don't have a collection of quirky people locked in my basement, or anything. I feel that part shouldn't *really* need clarifying, but apparently it does.

Staring vacantly at things, smiling absent mindedly for no discernable reason, and going with the flow. Going to a variety of new clubs that play weird and interesting music of genres I don't recognize.

Currently applying for jobs up and down the country, the plan being to move to the first place where I can work, and then sort of wing it from there. Time in the US has given me a fancy gold certificate for an engineering course, a bunch of wonderful memories, an empty bank account and an addiction to Oreos.

I'm in an open relationship with skakittyNZ. It's kind of a new idea for me and I'm still exploring what it means, but my initial impression is that it feels pleasant and is really fun.

Been reading an unhealthy amount of John Scalzi recently, plus Game of Thrones. Team Daenerys FTW. Also A History of the World in 100 Objects which I've found completely bloody fascinating. If any of you have any suggestions on other ways that an uneducated dumbass like me can go about getting an appreciation for world history while being similarly entertained, hit me up. House of Leaves still lies underneath my coffee table, mocking me. Fuck you, House of Leaves. I'm not smart enough to enjoy you, but I accept that, you pretentious pile of poorly formatted drivel.

Uhhh... computer games, RPGs, general nerdiness, reading those weird SCUBA diving tables that help you work out whether or not you'll die of nitrogen poisoning if you go diving again within the next hour, criticizing the tactics of the hapless idiots in horror movies to anyone who'll even pretend to listen, I'm serious, don't watch Quarantine with me, ever, getting lost and not minding too much, being logical and calm.

I have no idea, myself, so I decided to ask my friends, and then quote them. This was a terrible fucking idea, because they all said some variation of "You look like you lost your way to Hogwarts", which I think is a sign that I need new friends.

I guess if you asked people that weren't goddamn nerds, they'd probably comment on how tall I am, or my eyelashes. I guess they're really long and some people like that?

Books: Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smith. The Player of Games by Iain M Banks. Of Mice and Men, Travels with Charlie, Cannery Row and Log from the Sea of Cortez by John Steinbeck. Life of Pi by Yann Martel. Incompetence by Rob Grant. About a Boy, A Long Way Down and Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby. The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Old Man's War by John Scalzi. What Was Lost by Catherine O'Hara. John Dies at the End by David Wong. Games of Thrones by George R.R. Martin.

Movies: Cloverfield, Children of Men, Bourne Ultimatum, Dog Soldiers, Serenity, Blues Brothers, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Dawn of the Dead (The FIRST one, you goddamned heathens, though the new one wasn't that bad), Night of the Living Dead, When Harry Met Sally, Love Actually, Ocean's 11, Wall E, Amelie, Doomsday, Shortbus, Grosse Pointe Blanke, Slumdog Millionaire, Avatar, Little White Lies, Inception...

Surrealist films generally piss me off, and I think watching
2001: A Space Odyssey is what it feels like to die. In slow
motion.

Music: Cake. Magnetic Fields. Jukebox the Ghost. Dresden Dolls. Snow Patrol. Aerosmith. Queen. Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Eels. Radiohead. Leonard Cohen. TV On the Radio. Cage the Elephant. Modest Mouse. Tally Hall. Elbow. Tom Waits. Bloodhound Gang. System of a Down. Tenacious D. Fat boy Slim. Searson. Flobots. Most anything you can rock out to in the shower while screwing up your face for the chorus.

Computers. Books. Sarcasm. The Internet. Love. Desserts that have the word "chocolate" in the description more than twice.

...Like, everything. Love, philosophy, whether the monster from Cloverfield would win against all the Transformers, myself, myself, myself, why people act the way they do... I daydream constantly.

I have also come to the conclusion that I am fascinated by human sexuality and its near infinite variation, despite being rather boringly vanilla myself. You're all just so weird and wonderful, dammit. Especially you over there. Yeah, you, the chick in the Minnie Mouse dominatrix get up. I just want to poke you all with a stick, or something!

Asleep. Playing computer games. Out drinking, though I prefer the "Wandering around, going to a comedy club, and then sitting under a tree somewhere and talking about random stuff, possibly in the middle of a roundabout" kind of drinking, to the "Go to a pub, sit at a table, stare at the people around you while they text on their phones, and then decide to just down shots until it all seems less boring" kind of drinking that I used to tag along on. I sort of miss being able to get drunk with people and then play Settlers of Catan or Cards Against Humanity, that seems like a very Boston thing.

Eh, I don't really have secrets... ask me anything you want and I'll tell you.

About sex, getting head doesn't usually do it for me. I mean it's often *nice*, but seldom... you know, concludes things. Maybe it's because of my shape, or maybe I'm just weird. Please don't take it personally! Have begun to feel bad for the handful of disappointed girls who were lovely enough to do it to me, so I feel like I should come with a warning label, or something : /

Having said that, giving cunnilingus is the closest thing I have to a fetish, so.

...you want to go dancing.

...you spend too much of your time bored, and think we can help each other out.

...you're anything like the kind of girl referenced in this quote:

"You could tell she was bright from her face. Bright and forward-looking and relaxed and intelligent about the way she led her life. American girls often were. They took their lives into their own hands- that was what they had been brought up to do- and made the most of them on their own terms. Not like us Brits, Brown thought, lugubriously fulfilling the duties of our moribund society."

although not necessarily American, just not... y'know... boring. If you're sassy and/or petulant, I'll probably adore you :)