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SlyJohnny

28 M Ipswich, UK

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Sep 13
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Skinny
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Administration
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"You know, Johnny, watching your love life is like watching aliens fuck. You're not sure what exactly is going on, but it's both enchanting and uncomfortable." -An acquaintance of mine.

I'm nerdy and introspective. You probably know the type. Endearing in a "lost puppy" sort of way, commonly described as a polite young man by old ladies who don't know any better, social phobia constantly at war with the fact that I like meeting people and find them interesting. I'm a little vacuous and spacey. I've been told I’m a pretty nice person, and sensitive and a good listener and stuff, but I really have nooo idea where people get that shit from. I find myself in the frustrating position of being extremely attracted to interesting and proactive opinionated women, while defaulting to a somewhat sedantry existence myself.

I'm a geek, I'm sarcastic, cynical, and mostly quite soft spoken. I'm opinionated, but tend to keep my mouth shut. I'm curious and open minded, and I like accumulating interesting experiences, anecdotes, and people. By which I mean, as friends, or sources of fond memories. I don't have a collection of quirky people locked in my basement, or anything. I feel that part shouldn't *really* need clarifying, but apparently it does.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
If you happen to figure this out, please let me know. Possibly we can compare notes. I'm working at an estate agents. Nurturing as ever a desire for new experiences to make war with my natural lethargy and social phobia.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Uhhh... computer games, reading those weird SCUBA diving tables that help you work out whether or not you'll die of nitrogen poisoning if you go diving again within the next hour, criticizing the tactics of the hapless idiots in horror movies to anyone who'll even pretend to listen, getting lost and not minding too much, being logical and calm.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have no idea, myself, so I decided to ask my friends, and then quote them. This was a terrible fucking idea, because they all said some variation of "You look like you lost your way to Hogwarts", which I think is a sign that I need new friends.

I guess if you asked people that weren't goddamn nerds, they usually comment on how tall I am. Or my eyelashes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smith. The Player of Games by Iain M Banks. Of Mice and Men, Travels with Charlie, Cannery Row and Log from the Sea of Cortez by John Steinbeck. Life of Pi by Yann Martel. Incompetence by Rob Grant. About a Boy, A Long Way Down and Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby. The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Old Man's War by John Scalzi. What Was Lost by Catherine O'Hara. John Dies at the End by David Wong. Games of Thrones by George R.R. Martin.

Movies: Cloverfield, Children of Men, Bourne Ultimatum, Dog Soldiers, Serenity, Blues Brothers, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, When Harry Met Sally, Love Actually, Ocean's 11, Wall E, Submarine, Doomsday, Shortbus, Grosse Pointe Blanke, Slumdog Millionaire, Avatar, Little White Lies, Inception, Guardians of the Galaxy... I like movies.

Surrealist films generally piss me off, and I think watching
2001: A Space Odyssey is what it feels like to die. In slow
motion.

Music: Cake. Magnetic Fields. Jukebox the Ghost. Dresden Dolls. Snow Patrol. Aerosmith. Queen. Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Eels. Radiohead. Leonard Cohen. TV On the Radio. Cage the Elephant. Modest Mouse. Tally Hall. Elbow. Tom Waits. Bloodhound Gang. System of a Down. Tenacious D. Fat boy Slim. Searson. Flobots. Glitch Mob. Most anything you can rock out to in the shower while screwing up your face for the chorus.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Computers. Books. Sarcasm. The Internet. Love. Desserts that have the word "chocolate" in the description more than twice.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
...Like, everything. Love, philosophy, why people act the way they do... I daydream constantly. I go over past social interactions in my mind a lot, positive and negative. I spend a lot of time thinking about sex, and people's sexual kinks, which I find super interesting. You're all just so weird and wonderful, dammit. Especially you over there. Yeah, you, the chick in the Minnie Mouse dominatrix get up. I just want to poke you all with a stick, or something!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Asleep. Playing computer games. Out drinking, though I prefer the "Wandering around, going to a comedy club, and then sitting under a tree somewhere and talking about random stuff, possibly in the middle of a roundabout" kind of drinking, to the "Go to a pub, sit at a table, stare at the people around you while they text on their phones, and then decide to just down shots until it all seems less boring" kind of drinking that I used to tag along on. I sort of miss being able to get drunk with people and then play Settlers of Catan or Cards Against Humanity, that seems like a very Boston thing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Eh, I don't really have secrets... ask me anything you want and I'll tell you.

About sex, getting head doesn't usually do it for me. I mean it's often *nice*, but seldom... you know, concludes things. Please don't take it personally! Have begun to feel bad for the handful of disappointed girls who were lovely enough to do it to me, so I feel like I should come with a warning label, or something : /

Having said that, giving cunnilingus is the closest thing I have to a fetish, so.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you're anything like the kind of girl referenced in this quote:

"You could tell she was bright from her face. Bright and forward-looking and relaxed and intelligent about the way she led her life. American girls often were. They took their lives into their own hands- that was what they had been brought up to do- and made the most of them on their own terms. Not like us Brits, Brown thought, lugubriously fulfilling the duties of our moribund society."

although not necessarily American, just not... y'know... boring. If you're sassy and/or petulant, I'll probably adore you :)