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Smarmy_bastad

31 M Baltimore, MD

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 21–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:24am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Native American, White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t want kids
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a nerd, I love video games and discussing the finer aspects of G.I.Joe and the latest comic book I just read. I think terrible movies are awesome and if I had my way there would be a sequel to Masters of the Universe. I love Machiavelli and think "The Prince" is the most misunderstood philosophical treatise of the renaissance and if you disagree I will punch so many faces.

I manage to receive some sort of bizarre pleasure from discussing Historical facts and current affairs at the world level. Which is great because I tend not to shut up about either one of them.

I am a Street Walking, Cheetah With a, and Heart Full of Napalm
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Slowly being transmogrified into a yuppy by my job. I would say that's awful but you know what? Sometime it's nice to get hella paid. And it keeps me swimming in bar money.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
If you need to know about the reign of Justinian I, emperor of the Byzantine Empire, I'm all over that shit. History is my forte, and my passion, which makes me stupid, dope ass awesome.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a majestic mane of hair that only takes a more regal shine when my body sees fit to produce it's own hair oil. I also apparently look much younger than I am. Look, I am a Highlander, I can not help this.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I really like the Great Gatsby even though every ounce of my being says I should hate it. T.C. Boyle gets me in a good place. I'm going to go ahead and be a stereotype and say Vonnegut is amazing.

Movies: Peckinpah films are amazing if you like your misogyny with a side of "right hook to your face."

Music: I hate to say I listen to nearly anything, but I don't write off many genres. My main music crush is punk infused indie rock. Can't abide Animal Collective, can't stop listening to Man Man. See also: Tom Waits, my litmus test for all music. Pretty much the closer it is to sounding like a donkey vomiting up railroad tracks the better.

Food: All of it. I want it all inside of me. My inner fat kid hungers.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Cigarettes and Coffee and the mysteries betwixt the two.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How much I want a Danzig themed snuggie.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Many a potent potable passes through my lips.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I pretty much have a fantasy of starting a scooter gang and rolling deep on a fleet of Vespas, Mod style.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Du liebst Katchen und Hunchen und schnitzel.

You really want to discuss Soviet History or how awesome Jean Claude Van Damme movies are.

You have ever thought about your love for Morrissey. And then realized that Morrissey is only waiting for human cloning to be a reality and that no one could ever love Morrissey as much as Morrissey loves Morrisey.