Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

SmileNaked

37 Portland, OR Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–37
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 5:42pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Education
Dropped out of two-year college
Job
Administration
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Non-monogamous
Offspring
Has kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a simple man. Yet, explaining myself is complicated.
I'm an introvert living an increasingly extroverted life.
I was once referred to as "the world's most harmless pervert."
I like to think I've elevated the hashtag to an art form.

I am in an open relationship with the incomparably wonderful trillianmours. She will probably want to meet you. She wants to meet everyone.

If you're wondering what kind of friend/boyfriend/lover I'd be, I actually have references. Believe me, I'm just as shocked as you are.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Amateur writer. Amateur publisher. Amateur photographer. Amateur filmmaker. Amateur actor. Amateur audiobook narrator. Amateur HTML/CSS coder. I'm basically a big amateur.

My Clark Kent job is as AP Clerk for a multinational fruit company. I call it "Pineapple Hell."
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing. See?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I remind them of somebody.
That I'm shorter than I look.
That I'm older than I look.
That there's nothing "ironic" about my outfit. I actually think I look good in this.
That if you don't stop me I'll keep explaining and explaining and explaining and explaining....
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books:If I had to pick a favorite, it would have to be Transmetropolitan, a graphic novel by Warren Ellis. Close seconds would be anything by Sarah Vowell and David Sedaris (I know, I'm a Portland Cliche). I just recently enjoyed the audiobooks of Ready Player One by Ernest Kline, Bossypants by Tina Fey, and John Dies At The End by David Wong.

TV: I like to think I have discerning tastes, but when I think about what I spend my time watching instead of reading, I'm pretty sure I'm just lying to myself. Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Rachel Maddow are my only links to the real world. I'm trying to spend more time writing and less time watching TV, but when I do watch TV it's probably Supernatural, Game of Thrones, Community, Falling Skies, and House of Cards. From across the pond, I've enjoyed Sherlock, Being Human, Life On Mars, and I will always drop everything for the next episode of Doctor Who.

Movies: This is a can of f**king worms right here.

Music: Nerdcore. If you don't know what that is, Google it. You're welcome.

Food: People think I'm weird because I can't eat eggs. No, it's not an allergy. They just taste disgusting to me. Even the smell makes me ill.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. A balanced approach to the comedy and tragedy of life.
2. Absurdism.
3. Symmetrical coincidences (or coincidental symmetries).
4. An escape route.
5. Quiet time.
6. Deadpan humor.
7. A healthy skepticism towards the establishment.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Ice cream flavor naming schemes. The opposite of maybe. Which first string characters have to die. Why my gay friends don't hit on me more. Who put the "bop" in the "bop-she-bop." Whether or not I should enlist a Cognitive Interpreter for this. Why nobody else noticed the spider is missing. The number of times I say "okay" in a day. The best way to start the next paragraph. The price of tea in China. Regenerating.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Arguing with myself over character motivations vs juvenile male fantasy, how much unproven scientific theory to lean my science fiction plot on, or which friends to chance offending by basing flawed characters off them.

Or listening to an old episode of MST3K while I do dishes. That's actually a rather high possibility.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I enjoy musicals way more than a straight man should.

I will secretly judge you on your usage of "there," "their," and "they're."

I was once lectured by OKCupid for being "too picky." I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I still felt guilty.

I don't make eye contact with anyone. It's nothing personal. You probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't told you, though. I didn't even realize it myself until I was 30.

If I owned a chainsaw I would stencil the words "Everything's Fine" on the side, because I think that's funny.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to be the Martha Jones to my Jack Harkness.

Add a photo to:

Stay fresh with Instagram

Are you sure you want to delete this album?

Where's your photo?

Drop it like it’s hot

Photos must be at least 400 x 400px
Edit thumbnail
Add a caption

You look fantastic!