I'm a simple man. Yet, explaining myself is complicated.
I'm an introvert living an increasingly extroverted life.
I was once referred to as "the world's most harmless pervert."

I am in an open relationship with the incomparably wonderful trillianmours. She will probably want to meet you. She wants to meet everyone.

Getting by on more than my looks.
Climbing the ladder.
Bringing my creations to life.
Grabbing the bull by the horns.
Measuring twice. Cutting once.
Biting off more than I can chew.
Judging books by their covers.
Assuming everything is a euphemism.

..and avoiding the Chinese. I owe them money.

Writing. See?

That I remind them of somebody.
That I'm shorter than I look.
That I'm older than I look.
That there's nothing "ironic" about my outfit. I actually think I look good in this.
That the things I notice vs things I don't notice are never what they expect.
That if you don't stop me I'll keep explaining and explaining and explaining and explaining....

Books: I am not reading as much as I should be these days. I've been working my way through The Instructions by Adam Levin for an embarrassingly long time now. If I had to pick a favorite, it would have to be Transmetropolitan, a graphic novel by Warren Ellis. I read it years ago, but I still think about all the time. Close seconds would be anything by Sarah Vowell and David Sedaris (I know, I'm a Portland Cliche). I just recently enjoyed the audiobooks of Ready Player One by Ernest Kline, Bossypants by Tina Fey, and Suck It, Wonderwoman by Olivia Munn.

TV: I like to think I have discerning tastes, but when I think about what I spend my time watching instead of reading, I'm pretty sure I'm just lying to myself. Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Rachel Maddow are my only link to the real world. I'm trying to spend more time writing and less time watching TV, but when I do watch TV it's probably Supernatural, Fringe, Game of Thrones, Community, Modern Family, Breaking Bad, Falling Skies, Burn Notice, The Newsroom, Happy Endings, and Warehouse 13. From across the pond, I've enjoyed Sherlock, Being Human, Life On Mars, and I will always drop everything for the next episode of Doctor Who.

Movies: This is a can of f**king worms right here.

Music: I discovered Nerdcore Hip Hop four years ago and I haven't looked back since. MC Lars, MC Frontalot, Optimus Rhyme, and Schaffer The Darklord are constantly coming through my earbuds while I'm at work. Local duo, The Doubleclicks, are also joybringers for my day.

Food: I lived in China for two years, and even though I didn't really like it there, Chen's Good Taste in Chinatown is the only authentic Chinese food I can find, and it's actually become a kind of comfort food for me some parts of the year. Aside from that, the usual sushi, pizza, and a good burger is all it takes to keep me happy.

1. A balanced approach to the comedy and tragedy of life.
2. Absurdism.
3. Symmetrical coincidences.
4. An escape route.
5. Quiet time.
6. Deadpan humor.
7. A healthy skepticism towards the establishment.

Ice cream flavor naming schemes. The opposite of maybe. Which first string characters have to die. Why my gay friends don't hit on me more. Who put the "bop" in the "bop-she-bop." Whether or not I should enlist a Cognitive Interpreter for this. Why nobody else noticed the spider is missing. The number of times I say "okay" in a day. The best way to start the next paragraph. The price of tea in China. Regenerating.

Arguing with myself over character motivations vs juvenile male fantasy, how much unproven scientific theory to lean my science fiction plot on, or which friends to chance offending by basing flawed characters off them.

Or watching Netflix. That's actually a rather high possibility.

I enjoy musicals way more than a straight man should.

I will secretly judge you on your usage of "there," "their," and "they're."

...and I've lost count of the number of times I stopped myself from ending a sentence, "with my penis" on this profile.

If you think you can beat me at Scrabble, or you're tired of waiting for me to message you. (See above mention on being an introvert.)