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32 M Indianapolis, IN

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 2:10am
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Not at all
Atheism, and laughing about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I tell jokes good. I speak English bad.

I have very strong opinions. Many of them about birds.

I don't keep gift cards for more than 12 hours after I receive them.

I have weird arms. They're awesome. If you don't think they are, you're probably into lame stuff like "human body symmetry."

I am not afraid to message you if you live far away. I cast a wide net.

I play a lot of video games. I'm pretty good, even for a dude with full hands.

I've been on television. I'm still not as famous as my brother who discovered a fish that looks like a dick.
What I’m doing with my life
I talk about my dick and people give me a check afterwards.
I’m really good at
Making people laugh. I can't fix your brakes or remove your appendix, but I got this.
The first things people usually notice about me
I think it's obvious... I wear glasses. I'm just like you. I don't want to be treated any differently.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - The Dark Tower series by Stephen King, The Stand

Movies - The Wedding Singer, What Dreams May Come, Good Will Hunting, Stranger Than Fiction, Rat Race, Cloverfield, The Wrestler, Rachel Getting Married, Shopgirl, Crazy Stupid Love

Shows - South Park, West Wing, Psych, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development, How I Met Your Mother, Scrubs, Burn Notice

Music - Blue October, Nine Days, Sister Hazel, Alpha Rev, The Book of Mormon

Food - My mom's pizza casserole, spaghetti, and I swear to you I would have you all cast away into the wilderness for a lifetime's supply of buffalo wings
The six things I could never do without
1) Standup comedy
2) Theater
3) Good conversation
4) Video games
5) Buffalo wings
6) You, probably. I dunno. You seem all right.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Jokes. My next gig.

Oh, and how awesome it would be to ride a dragon.
On a typical Friday night I am
Telling jokes. Probably about you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You ask, I'll tell you. I'm not that private a guy.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–32
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You think you can keep up. If you can take a joke and are not easily offended. If you can spell. I'm a super picky guy, so try to impress me. It's okay if you're not perfect. It's not okay if you're boring. Bring something to me I can work with. Don't waste my time. Sounds harsh, but I'm a busy guy. If you can't dazzle me, I can't be bothered.

I don't care how "hot" you are. I've been with hot women. I don't need a hot woman. We're all going to look like English bulldogs one day anyway.