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SnarkforLunch

27 M Wellington, New Zealand

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Job
Hospitality
Income
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I think holding hands is the sweetest thing, I'll give you a lick of my ice cream as long as I get to smoosh it on your nose, I'll laugh at myself and others because of an innocuous thing then stop so I don't offend anyone, I'll pretend my sense of humour isn't steeped in harsh truths and absurdity but only until I like you.

Right now I'm trying to meet people with a penchant for silly banter, the ability to be tactfully honest, know a good self deprecating joke when they say it and aren't afraid to show some stoic courage when the occasion calls. So, basically I'm looking for Batman... but major bonus points if you like making noises when explaining things, bonus bonus points for hand gestures.

I don't believe in taking myself too seriously, but I do think it's important to have appreciation and ambition for what you want and what you do while still allowing yourself to be open to new ideas and opinions, or reconsidering your own.

What I think is important are friendships, having the temperament for self reflection with realistic ambitions and personal growth, as well as ideas and discussions about all those things that matter while applying critical thinking but still being able to laugh at the things you're passionate about. If not just to find out what kind of muffins are best (raspberries and white chocolate), elsewise for making myself feel smrat.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm working as an artisan baker, unlike most in professional kitchens my ego is kept in check with generous slices of humble pie and my vices are, but not limited to, video games, lexiconical augmentation, the internet and the drug known as nostalgia.

My aim is to open my own bakery one day, selling my lovingly crafted pastries and breads. Do you know how good a bakery smells in the morning? It's like happiness took residence in your face.

I spent some time in London then Paris/Lyon (Salut!) early in 2013 visiting friends, eating delicious pastries in front of old world vistas and ignoring the cold. I don't like the cold.

I'm working towards learning the piano, mostly so I can play The Office theme song any time I want. Do da doo.
I’m really good at
- Avoiding cliches. I'm just a down to earth easy going guy that's good at listening, ya know?
- Cooking; I bet I can cook better than you. Bet you $5.
- Making myself laugh. There's a high statistical probability that you also like to laugh; +1 for shared interests.
- Throwing flour; Seriously, this is a lot of fun.
- People watching; It's like a sitcom without the laugh track but more tragedy and fashion faux pas'.
- Finding belly button lint; I don't know, it's like a factory down there.

I'm also good at eating feijoas, hugs, not being serious, and dressing myself.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Dune, Cloudstreet, The Alchemist, The unbearable lightness of being. I mostly enjoy stories that could be real, but are really just everyday events filled with emotion, despair and redemption. I don't really know authors which makes it difficult when discussing books.

Movies: Wreck-it Ralph, Back to the future, Terminator 2, Groundhog day, The Iron giant, Sunshine. Scifi and adventure to impress my inner child.

TV: Peep show, Breaking bad, Futurama, Band of brothers, Cosmos, Game of thrones, QI. I'm currently trying to stop myself marathoning The Wire. It's not working out too well.

Music: Smashing pumpkins, The National, Matchbox Twenty, Shihad, Jose Gonzalez, Pearl jam; Rocking, acoustic, upbeat, melancholic, and some times heavy tunes.
Current song on loop in my head; Signalling through the flames - The American dollar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Vp9QMq2qX8

Food: I have an unashamed love affair with food. It amazes me the literal thousands of flavours, textures and combinations we can experience in our mouths. From Duck a l'Orange to cheeseburgers to milo, food is endlessly enjoyable. Except oysters. Fuck oysters.

I'm easily plied with good foodstuffs; Make me a delicious risotto and I'll love you forever.
The six things I could never do without
1. Pillows. They be so comfy. Comfy is good.
2. Daydreaming; It's like shower thoughts, but wherever you want.
3. Milk. This is strange for some, but I REALLY like milk.
4. Crescendos. The build, the peak, the crash. Like a modern day love story.
5. Perspective, apply liberally.
6. Kips. Glorious unrepentant kips.

A healthy dose of petrichor is a close 7; It's like cocaine for the nose.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- Cakes and tarts and breads and pastries and puddings and and and... you know, the important things.
- Friends and people. They're kind of a big deal.
- My hair. It demands attention.
- Semantic saturation. Toes, toes, toes, toes, toes, toes, toes.
- Predicaments, plausible and absurd. Mostly both.
- What's for dinner. Possibly cereal.
- Sex and sexuality. Maybe this should be at the top.
- Sonder. It's philosophically sobering.
- Sometimes I'll wait a whole two weeks to talk about something just so I can legitimately use the word 'fortnight'.

Aaaand my inner monologue is usually interlaced and punctuated with song bits, it makes sense... Just roll with it, ok?
On a typical Friday night I am
Staying inside until somebody finds me, confessing to lying a lot, trying my hardest to start a war, trying to keep my clothes on or at least saying I did, crawling up stairs, not believing in naked plans, questioning my maladies and losing my keys.

Seriously. I prefer house parties to raves, beer to hard liquor and watching movies to dancing/awkward shuffling. I'll kick off for an occasion, and that's an occasion in and of itself; I once started a drunken Twister game that didn't end in an orgy. Amazing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not nearly as perky as this profile may suggest, I actually find over enthusiasm bewildering and exhausting, much like sun stroke and fashion trends.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, casual sex
You should message me if
You want to put some motherfuckin' whimsy in your life.

You can give me bad ideas.

You think we could swap stories.

Aaaand you understand and are OK with me having a partner. Our situation isn't exactly ordinary, but I'm pretty open to giving insight to help with others understanding. Just ask respectfully.
This also doesn't mean I'm just looking for people to bang, I'm not looking for just some slap and tickle; Conversation is good.