Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
-I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute
-3x winner of the world's online debating championship
-I can sort of do Mongolian throat singing
-My guilty hipster confession is that I wax my moustache
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Telling people how they should live their lives in exchange for
payment. Also telling people how they should live their lives in
exchange for being blocked by them on social media.
In my spare time I volunteer at a bat orphanage where I nurse them
with an eye dropper filled with hand collected bat milk until
they've reached full size and can fly on their own... it's very
I also have a side business where I pick wildflowers to make those
fancy crowns you see in medieval movies that the fair haired maiden
wears while walking through a wheat field in slow motion to the
sound of epic music that foretells of her imminent capture by the
villain with the strange accent. Then I sell them on eBay.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making coffee puns. I have a pretty big following on snapchat
because of this. If we become good friends I'll latte you follow
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People always remark that I smell like an equal mix of Tiger
Lillies in full bloom on a cool summer's morning, with a rising
high note of moose meat smoked over organic apple wood chips
somewhere in the Northwest Territories. Every. Single. Time.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Original Gangster: The Real Life Story of One of America's Most
Notorious Drug Lords
James and the Giant Peach
The Complete Infidel's Guide to the Koran
Highlander 2: The Quickening
The Last Unicorn
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Mongolian throat singing as you would have probably guessed
Bagpipe cover songs of anything currently on the radio
The meat of any wild animal
The meat of any farm animal
The fermented milk product of any mammal pressed into a block
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My passport stamp collection
2. My pez dispenser key chain filled with nicorette gum
3. Muffin tins, have YOU ever tried to make muffins without a
4. My wildflower and smoke house scented cologne
5. The rolodex on my phone that amazingly only uses up 4gb of
6. Red licorice string, not the thick twizzlers crap
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How do medications for autism work? Is there even such a thing as
medication for autism?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Repossessing electric scooters for a big scooter company my buddy
owns who loans hipsters their "eco-friendly" rides. Turns out
hipsters are absolutely terrible at making their monthly payments
on time and so then they have to deal with me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a 3 or 4 freckles on my back, but it's been awhile since
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I may be able to let these things slide if you're pretty
-You dislike overcooked beef or people that order it that way
-You can convince me to eat more vegetables, better yet help me
clean my juicer so I can just drink my vegetables
-You can get me a prescription for benzodiazepine, that shit's
-You're able to break dance to this music:
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.