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28 Guelph, Ontario, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 19–41
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 3:41pm
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 10" (1.78m)
Body Type
Other and it’s important
Wants kids
English (Fluently), French (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
-I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute
-3x winner of the world's online debating championship
-I can sort of do Mongolian throat singing
-My guilty hipster confession is that I wax my moustache
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Telling people how they should live their lives in exchange for payment. Also telling people how they should live their lives in exchange for being blocked by them on social media.

In my spare time I volunteer at a bat orphanage where I nurse them with an eye dropper filled with hand collected bat milk until they've reached full size and can fly on their own... it's very rewarding work.

I also have a side business where I pick wildflowers to make those fancy crowns you see in medieval movies that the fair haired maiden wears while walking through a wheat field in slow motion to the sound of epic music that foretells of her imminent capture by the villain with the strange accent. Then I sell them on eBay.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making coffee puns. I have a pretty big following on snapchat because of this. If we become good friends I'll latte you follow me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People always remark that I smell like an equal mix of Tiger Lillies in full bloom on a cool summer's morning, with a rising high note of moose meat smoked over organic apple wood chips somewhere in the Northwest Territories. Every. Single. Time.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Original Gangster: The Real Life Story of One of America's Most Notorious Drug Lords
James and the Giant Peach
The Complete Infidel's Guide to the Koran

Highlander 2: The Quickening
The Last Unicorn
Planet Terror

ABC's 20/20
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Ancient Aliens

Mongolian throat singing as you would have probably guessed
Bagpipe cover songs of anything currently on the radio

The meat of any wild animal
The meat of any farm animal
The fermented milk product of any mammal pressed into a block
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My passport stamp collection
2. My pez dispenser key chain filled with nicorette gum
3. Muffin tins, have you ever tried to muffins without a muffin tin?!
4. My wildflower and smoke house scented cologne
5. The rolodex on my phone that amazingly only uses up 4gb of space
6. Red licorice string, not the thick twizzlers crap
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How do medications for autism work? Is there even such a thing as medication for autism?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Transcribing ancient scrolls for an online free to share scroll database or hand feeding bats with an eyedropper.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a 3 or 4 freckles on my back, but it's been awhile since I've counted.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I may be able to let these things slide if you're pretty chill:

-You dislike overcooked beef or people that order it that way
-You can convince me to eat more vegetables, better yet help me clean my juicer so I can just drink my vegetables
-You can get me a prescription for benzodiazepine, that shit's insane
-You're able to break dance to this music: