28 Toronto, Ontario, CA
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My self-summary
I'm very brave, and I'm not afraid of any monsters.
What I’m doing with my life
I am working on a project of Radiohead songs with the lyrics replaced by text from online dating profiles called "OK Compupid." If you or someone you know can do a good Thom Yorke impression, please contact me immediately.

Actually, I work for my government cheese.

I am also occasionally paid to write trivia questions. Not sure if that's a good thing to mention around here. Please send feedback to

Also I just learned how a jet engine works, and they are really cool.
I’m really good at
Making french toast, thinking skeptically, opening beer bottles with a trowel, the J-stroke.

I can also stand on my head, but not that well. It kind of feels like my nose should be bleeding afterwards.
The first things people usually notice about me
Deep voice.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Under books, The Phantom Tollbooth, A Canticle for Leibowitz, A Confederacy of Dunces, Stranger in a Strange Land, The Satanic Verses, Foucault's Pendulum. [Understanding Early Civilizations by Bruce G. Trigger.]

Under movies, The Bridge on the River Kwai, The Apartment, Brick, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, The Warriors (based on a play by Xenophon, don'tcha know), American Movie, Harold & Maude, The Ox-Bow Incident, and (almost) all the Coen Brothers.

Under music, as a very small sampling, Pavement, David Bowie, Bill Callahan, Neil Young, Jonathan Richman, Talking Heads, Nick Cave, Velvet Underground. Most recently, Aimee Mann.

The best song ever written is "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen. The worst might well be "Werewolves of London."

Adventure Time, Comedy Bang! Bang!, and Jeopardy!. That's one exclamation point per show.

Under food, all sorts. French toast was already mentioned, but it must have real maple syrup.

And none of these lists is actually very good. Don't you find it's easier to come up with these sorts of things when you're actually talking about them?
The six things I could never do without
My iPod, good crossword puzzles, Sodastream, a pair of slippers, something to clean my glasses with, and a bathrobe. Honourable mention goes to bowties, but I guess I could survive without those.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
MOOCs. Linguistic cognates. Mnemonics. Metamorphosis. Did you know that only moth caterpillars spin cocoons, and butterflies molt into chrysalises? How did I not know that before I was 27?
On a typical Friday night I am
relieved and excited.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I was around 6 years old, my family and my best friend's family held a garage sale. The owner of a nearby candy store, Sugar Mountain on Eglinton, wanted to purchase a Lite-Brite to make a sign for his store's window. He offered the adults a free Slush Puppy for each of the five children present, which we greatly enjoyed, in exchange for the ware. Two weeks later the store was out of business. I have never forgiven myself.
You should message me if
the emoji you use most often is the smiling poo.