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28 M San Francisco, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–35
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 12
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Atheism, and very serious about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Dutch (Okay), Afrikaans (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I recently had to purchase a new front tooth for myself after biting into a baguette a bit too enthusiastically, and I deeply regret not getting a gold one. I'm a dual citizen of the U.S. and the Netherlands, but when I am in Holland I feel as American as all hell, and whenever I am in the States I feel as Dutch as all get-out. I bring homemade sandwiches to work and eat them while reading a book during my dinner break and people actually make fun of me for that. Whenever I attempt to smile for a picture, the photographer takes too damn long to snap the shot and I end up looking like a nut. I'm afraid I may be too terrified of everyone on OkCupid to ever get around to actually sending one of you spooky bastards a message.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am wasting an inordinate amount of time making myself an OkCupid profile and hoping that you find it fascinating.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Alliteration. Writing lengthily about nothing in particular. Air drumming. House painting. Trivia quizzes.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My dazzling mustache, prominent proboscis, idiosyncratic sense of humor, and the fact that I am never without some sort of thirst-quenching liquid at hand.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have a serious non-fiction addiction and rarely ever read any phony baloney fiction anymore. If it has to do with murder, cults, impostors, insanity, or Eastern Europe (or any combination thereof), I will read the holy hell out of it. If I could only watch one TV show for the rest of my life, it would definitely be Dateline, particularly episodes narrated by Keith Morrison. Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo is quite simply the greatest film ever, and I once watched it in its entirety without ever getting around to turning the sound on. I listen to the BBC World Service religiously, and have done so for more than a decade. I am the world's least discerning eater; I will quite literally eat anything set before me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) Oxygen
2) Food
3) Water
4) Proper brain function
5) The laws of physics
6) Mustache wax
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
how combining strawberry milk with chocolate milk isn't as delicious as I imagined it would be.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
regretting the fact that I have not had a proper Saturday-Sunday weekend in about eight years.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Thanks to my mother, I am more familiar with ABBA than I often care to admit, and I might go so far as to say that I am really rather fond of several of their songs.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you enjoy receiving long-winded replies from loquacious gentlemen with outstanding mustaches.