For people who don't read profiles.
I'm trans. I still have a penis. I haven't taken hormones yet, but I want to.
> Also - I'm in Bilbao for a week. Changing my location so I might be able to meet someone cool here.
--Who I Am--
I'm Sophia, a spiritually inclined, vegan, bisexual, transsexual, femme, feminist, polyamorous, loving, indigo adult (e.g. mature indigo child). I also believe in the gift economy as an ideal, and Unschooling.
I want to do my part to change the world. It seems like a far more interesting thing to dedicate my life to than to money, sex, hobbies, or prestige.
When people ask what I do I say I'm a blogger or a writer. That's what I do in the largest part of my time, after all, and I'm hoping that I will be able to earn my living from it eventually. I write about self help and other consciousness-raising topics.
I'm a bit of a housewife too, for my partner and my roommate (who is family to me). I like to feed them and care for them. And one day, or otherwise in an alternate Universe, I'd love to feed and care for an even bigger family including a few miniature humans.
I'm not sure if this is somehow to do with the fact that I'm a woman and have a nurturing woman's energy -- or if it's because I just like it and don't let an aversion to stereotypes stop me.
I used to be a True Believer atheist. When I was in my teenage years, though, I felt a massive void in my life and spent years searching for answers. One of the results of that was a new understanding of how the Universe works.
So, I guess I could say I believe in God? Except that I don't believe in the Christian God or any other "official" take on this concept. This might sound funny to some, but everything I believe, I came to by convincing my atheist, skeptical side of logic that it just couldn't ignore anymore.
God for me is what I felt when riding a boat in Indonesia. The sea stretched before me and behind me, seemingly forever. In that moment I felt both big and small, vulnerable and invulnerable. And I percieved Infinity not as a cold, dead emptiness, but as *alive* and loving and aware and part of me. This was when I understood the point of personifying the Universe and addressing it and calling it he or she. (I prefer she incidentally).
I also believe that who I am does not die when my body dies. And I strongly feel that I am guided and my life has a larger spiritual purpose.
It's a good feeling, as you can imagine. But I also don't feel like I'm fooling myself. Which I never wanted to do, not even in order to get these good feelings or anything else.
This is all a big part of who I am.
I try hard not to support with the money I spend any mistreatment of animals. In this day and age, that means I have to eat and live vegan.
I respect people who think differently to me. I live vegan because I believe in treating others, whether human or animal, as part of me. That also means I believe in treating humans with gentleness, kindness and respect. I would never intentionally shame or pressure anyone about their diet.
I actually develop attachments to plants I care for and can't bear to kill them for food. But for now trying to be fruitarian would be far too destabilizing so I'm willfully ignoring the compassion I feel towards plants, just as most people willfully ignore their compassion towards the animals they eat.
Is this hypocritical? Maybe, but then again, I do tell everyone that they can only do what they can with the resources that are given to them. I encourage people to stop eating meat but I frequently agree that it's not always so easy. I think that's kind of in line with where I am with my feelings for plants.
I am a very loving person.
Not just in prayers or towards animals. I love people.
I experience being "in love" very easily. Actually, all I need is for someone to *let me* love them. Most people can't, you see. They are scared of receiving love.
So I can hug and kiss and shine love at someone all day. Or express intense love sexually. Or say it in words.
Don't misinterpret. When I say "I love you" it doesn't mean... anything. It just means I love you.
It doesn't mean I necessarily want to commit to you. It doesn't mean I have any particular idea about what our relationship is or is going to become. I'm not conceptualising and not thinking about the future. I am just expressing love. That could be for a minute or for a million years. All my love means, is that I am expressing love right now.
My philosophy is one of polyamory. I don't believe in exclusivity; I just don't see any reason for it. I don't think jealousy is natural or healthy.
I believe it's wonderful to express deep, full love to someone, surrendering all fear of vulnerability, simply opening the whole of yourself up to them until there are no boundaries left. I believe sex is wonderful too. I believe there are lots of reasons sex and love can go together. So I get the point of "relationships" up to there. But I don't see anything in this formula that suggests it has to happen with just one person.
So basically for lack of justification for monogamy, I default to polyamory. For me this just means: both me and my partners are free to love who we want, how we want, when we want.
Having multiple partners is optional, even. But the freedom to have them - the freedom itself - is what's important to me.
--Who I'm Looking For--
I'm femme and am attracted to butches and femmes, and others, of all genders. I like women more - or rather more often - than men but I'm not sure exactly what this means yet.
One thing I can't stand about many guys, and which I think keeps me from being more bisexual, is macho-ness. I'm so hyper-sensitive to this. The smallest feeling that I'm being seen as less capable, less dignified, or less of an agent of my own destiny, and my attraction dies instantly.
So I really need men who can identify as feminist, who are aware of the unhealthy dynamics between men and women in this society and can correct that in themselves.
For both women and men, at this time I probably need bisexuals/pansexuals or at the very least people of "flexible" sexuality who can both love me for my true gender and not be put off by my body.
I'm looking for intelligent, connected people who share some of my viewpoints and interests and can "get me" as a person. I like queer people, even if it's "I'm a straight guy but I'll kiss another guy just for fun" kind of queer. I also like spiritually-inclined people, thoughtful people, introverts (even though I'm not an introvert myself), black sheep, non-judgmental people, travelers, feminists, artsy people, people who think they're gonna save the world, and anyone who thinks I'm awesome and/or a sexy princess.
I like sex but it's so much more fun when soaked in love energy, comfort and trust. I might be able to have a casual fuck if you present me with an interesting proposition. Mostly I want the whole package though. Dating, friendship, love, trust, intimacy, and sex. Sex is optional, even.
PS I know this is going to make dating a queer leftie guy in Berlin impossible, but I really rather dislike beards.
--keywords for the search engine--
poly, polyamorous, polyamory, non-monogamy, open relationships, indigo, indigo child, indigo adult, crystal child, crystal adult, new age, raw foodism