Virginia Woolf: I'm a modern lit geek. I have a character's name from Mrs. Dalloway tattooed on the back of my neck. In Virginia's handwriting. I also transcribed her suicide note on my standard issue school bag. It seemed apropos. Also, if I were to get hit by a bus it would look like a suicide (instead of negligence on my part) with a great suicide note. Win win.
South Park: I love South Park. I know, I know. It's juvenile and somewhat revolting. But isn't that why we love it? Also, Trey Parker or Matt Stone, if you're reading this, consider it a marriage proposal. Wouldn't be above living in sin ala Vicky, Christina, Barcelona with both of you. Just tossing that out there.
Pastries: French pastry kills me. I lived in Paris for two years and became addicted to macarons. I make them when I get a chance. I'm a compulsive cook. When I'm not working I get fat because I have time to do things like make croissants. Not good.
Dirty Martinis: Mother's Milk. I like to divide my day into three sections: Bloody Marys, Dirty Martinis and Zoloft. Ok, sort of kidding. My life isn't as Valley of the Dolls as it sounds.
Orvis: I'm obsessed with Orvis. I buy at least one third of my wardrobe there. I have Orvis Christmas ornaments. Half the reason I have an email address is to keep abreast of their sales. It's a little scary at this point. Fortunately, I grew up in Vermont, so I can pretend that I shop there out of Vermont pride and not because I'm completely beset.
Henry Miller: After finishing Tropic of Cancer I toyed with the idea of never speaking to anyone who hadn't read it. I then realized that I would have exactly 4 friends.
Pee Wee's Playhouse: I always get a lot of shit for listing Pee Wee as a "Like." I think he's amazing. I grew up watching him. Daddy would turn on Pee Wee and just seem entranced. I later found out from Mummy that he was stoned all the time. Hmmm... That doesn't speak all that highly for my taste level.
Hillary Clinton: If I were to ever become a drag queen I would probably be either Hillary Clinton or Julia Child. I'm not really all that into sequins and gigantic wigs. On men. If you are seriously into drag queens and plan to try to convince me that they are brilliant artists please don't contact me. If you want to discuss why Hillary would have been better than Barack while sharing a Vanity Fair and espressos please do.
Jean Paul Gaultier: For years Jean Paul Gaultier was my God. I moved to Paris because I wanted to work for him. True story.
Jem and the Holograms: On of my favorite shows to watch with a hangover. Either Jem or Planet Earth. Oh yes, I'm that cool.
Marcel Duchamp: I'm an art snob. I practically taught the art history classes I had in college. When I lived in Paris and NYC I spent almost every waking minute in which I wasn't working going to art museums. I've seen probably half of the "best" art in Europe. Most people travel to relax, I travel to see art. Duchamp is one of my all time favorite artists and I'm one of those douche bag art types that actually understands why he would exhibit a urinal. If you do as well we're a good match.
Black and Blue Steaks: There is nothing better than a perfect steak. Take note. A sidenote to any vegetarians or vegans: Dating me is going to be an uphill battle. Food is way more important to me than I would like to admit. That and I find vegan baked goods to be completely vile. If you annoy me by eating too much quinoa, know that I will get my revenge by eating super rare steak in front of you.
F. Scott Fitzgerald: I love existentialism. I love prep. I love people who have gobs of money. I love alcoholic authors. Need I say more?
Tennessee Williams: I have a great dislike for the majority of musical theater, short of a few shows (Threepenny Opera, Cabaret) but I love plays, especially anything by Tennessee Williams.
Led Zeppelin: I love classic rock. I don't really go for the Gaga/Katy Perry crap.
Vanity Fair: Vanity Fair is somewhat like a holy trifecta for me: The novel, the magazine named after the novel, and the movie made of the novel. I should probably write about them individually...
a. Vanity Fair, Novel: One of my top 5 favorite books. Wonderfully pretentious. Epically pro-old money. Thackeray clearly hated all of his characters. Kind of like how i feel about people in general...
b. Vanity Fair, Magazine: I read it religiously along with Town and Country, Architectural Digest, Martha Stewart Living, and National Geographic. I love the way Vanity Fair mixes elitism with liberalism. If someone made a branch of the Democratic party where the symbol was a donkey dressed as Marie Antoinette I would immediately join. Politically I lean towards "treat everyone nicely, but keep them away from me." Far away. I have grown to love the phrase "not in my backyard."
c. Vanity Fair, Movie: It's a beautiful movie. I love the period it's set in. If I had my way we would still dress like Napoleon. I love giant shoulders and tight pants. Oh, and it's also well acted. And Julian Fellowes wrote the screen play.
Julian Fellowes: Because I love Downton Abbey, Gosford Park, Snobs and Vanity Fair. If I were 40 years older and British we would probably be best friends.
Dancing: Once in a while I love to go out dancing. Dancing should probably be a subcategory of Dirty Martinis.
D.H. Lawrence: No one gets sex quite like D. H. Lawrence. The way he blends filth with traditional romance is brilliant. When people talk about Jane Austen and the like as their ideal romantic life I sort of snicker just loudly enough for them to hear and explain why D. H. Lawrence paints a much more accurate (not to mention sexier) picture.
Diana Vreeland: I want to be Diana Vreeland when I grow up. Anyone who can blend classism with that much folie and exuberance deserves some sort of Nobel Prize.
Williams-Sonoma: You know that look Audrey gets on her face in front of Tiffany's? Where she's contemplatively eating a croissant? I imagine she's feeling the same pang deep in her stomach that I feel at Williams-Sonoma. Imagined conversation with Paul from Breakfast at Tiffany's:
Morgan: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Morgan: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Morgan: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Williams-Sonoma. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Williams-Sonoma, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name! (Thank you wikiquote for not making me type all that.)
Philosophers call that feeling That Holly/I feel at Tiffany's and Williams-Sonoma, respectively, "The Sublime." It's what you're supposed to feel when looking at Freidrichs or Gericaults in the Louvre. Yes, I get that feeling at Williams-Sonoma.
Grey Gardens: No doubt how I will behave in my old age.
Norman Mailer: If you want to understand America read Norman Mailer.
Mad Men: I would probably feel lost without Mad Men. I started watching it well after everyone else was obsessed, and watched the first three and a half seasons in less than two weeks. Now I don't know what I would do without it.
Downton Abbey: Like Mad Men, I started watching it about a year after it started on TV and ended up watching the first season in about two days. (Do I have an obsessive personality?) I was completely sold when they ironed a newspaper less than five minutes into the first episode. I don't read the newspaper often, but when I do, I iron it. (Ok, I definitely have an obsessive personality.) If my life was more like Mad Men or Downton Abbey I wouldn't need a pharmacist. (As much.)
Truman Capote: Truman Capote was a genius. Answered Prayers is brilliant. The blending graphic sex and high society is always going to catch my attention. I also like to post pictures of him as my doppelganger for doppelganger week on Facebook.
Patti Smith: If I had to jump out of a helicopter that was about to explode over a desert island and could only one album with me (let's assume that we still live in an era in which CDs are still relevant) I would probably die while trying to figure out if I wanted to bring Horses by Patti Smith, Mantaray by Siouxsie or Felt Mountain by Goldfrapp. In a non life or death situation I would probably pick Horses. It really would be the most logical choice.
Brooks Brothers: There are very few places that make me feel like everything is right and good in the world the way Brooks Brothers does. Do I feel mildly ridiculous in half of what I end up buying there? Sure, I'm probably not classy enough to carry a lot of it off, but isn't that kind of the point? I'm starting to think that I need to match my life to my wardrobe and not the other way around. My wardrobe would make so much more sense if I owned a polo pony, or even a sailboat.
The B-52's: I love kitsch. I love the 80s. I love the B-52's. If you don't, we probably won't get along. Not because they're a huge part of my life or anything, but they're just plain amazing and fun.
Ayn Rand: Atlas Shrugged is one of my all time favorite books. I think it perfectly describes the human condition. Does that make me an elitist, disrespectful fucktard? Probably. Do I feel even vaguely guilty about being an elitist, disrespectful fucktard? Not at all. Frankly I'm proud of it. People are too P.C. today. I hate systems where everyone wins just because they participated. I say reward the brilliant; fuck the useless. I value progress much more than I value niceness and I value reason far more than I value emotion. If that makes me a bad person than so be it.
Siouxsie and the Banshees: Although previously mentioned, they deserve a second mention. I love punk rock. Classic punk rock. The stuff people make today is shit. I'm totally gung ho to listen to Siouxsie or the Sex Pistols all night. Just don't make me listen to anything you bought at Hot Topic.
Martha Stewart: There are very few things I love more than Martha Stewart. What would I place above Martha you ask? Oxygen, indoor plumbing, and vodka.
Zoos: If you want to make me melt and take me on the best date ever, take me to the zoo. Or at least somewhere I can see seals.
Art Galleries: If you don't like zoos, I would settle for gallery hopping.
Tom Ford: One of the top 5 men on my Future Husband list.
The New York Dolls: More classic punk
Iggy Pop: Even more classic punk.
Sur la Table: I am similarly passionate about Sur la Table as I am about Williams-Sonoma, just not as much because Williams-Sonoma is obviously preppier.
Ralph Lauren: I spend probably an average of 7,000 hours a year wearing Ralph Lauren. That's a rather conservative estimate.
The Winklevoss Twins: Both in the top 5 of my Future Husband list. WASP power.