I'm an outgoing guy who can start a conversation with pretty much
anyone I meet. I can be wildly sarcastic and think just about
everything is funny, and I love to both tell and hear the kind of
racy jokes that would make your Grandmother lose her ability to
verbalize language if she heard them (not MY grandmother, she
thinks I'm wonderful). I love my family dearly, mostly because of
how much they remind me of myself, and like to see them on a fairly
regular basis. Zombies are easily my favorite popular media fad
since the 90s.
I like writing and am actually pretty good at it, although I doubt
that's the impression anyone gets reading this profile (Biographies
have always been a weakness of mine). I like discussing philosophy,
politics, and literature so long as it doesn't reach the point that
it derails the night and becomes exhausting. I enjoy physical
things like running, yoga, climbing, MMA and am always looking to
find new and interesting things to do. I love poker.
What I’m doing with my life
I gave up my dream of being an astronaut after NASA shut down and
their staff had to move into cardboard boxes they drew rocket ships
on. At the moment I'm working to pay for school while I get a
degree in psychology. My resume says I'm working as an "Executive
Delivery Associate", which sounds much more impressive than "the
only white delivery boy for a Chinese restaurant". I love acting
and have recently been working in some indie films. I'm also
getting certified as a personal trainer since god knows I'm not
gonna make money as a therapist until I get two more degrees and a
private practice, so I decided in the interim I'll train fat people
to be in better shape by making them self-conscious until they run
I’m really good at
Writing - all kinds of stuff from poetry and songs to short
stories, screenplays, and internet summaries of my personality in
under 1000 words. I like to perform slam poetry at open mics and
I'm getting back into acting, physical fitness is fun, yoga is
relaxing, running is invigorating, embarrassing myself dancing is a
blast, climbing is awesome and I should do it more, and being a
smartass gets me in trouble.
The first things people usually notice about me
My lazy eye and badass pirate peg leg.
Also apparently I'm the spitting image of three different actors,
none of whom look anything alike. Message me if you can figure out
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Flowers for Algernon, everything Calvin & Hobbes, Brave New
World, Kite Runner, A Song of Ice and Fire, The Human Stain,
Sandman by Neil Gaiman (Read it), World War Z, 1984, The Walking
Dead (The show is similarly awesome to the books)
Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Dark Knight, (500) Days of Summer,
Schindler's List, The Usual Suspects, Pulp Fiction (Me and every
other film junkie on the planet), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless
Les Miserables, Aida, The Lion King, Phantom of the Opera
The Killers, Bruce Springsteen, A Tribe Called Quest, The Roots,
Red Hot Chili Peppers (The new album sounds terrible), The
Gorillaz, Billy Joel, Eminem before he got clean, The Black Keys,
Flipsyde, The Police, Daft Punk, Johnny Cash, Avicii, Infected
Honestly I like all sorts of music and I love discovering new bands
that blow my mind.
The six things I could never do without
Listing things on the internet
Gas station coffee.
Overly friendly conversations with strangers.
Tangential trains of thought.
Anything that's bad for me
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Delving into the unexplored depths of the human psyche; in depth
analysis of modern entertainment; whether humanity is going to find
a viable method of escaping the planet before it goes mad max
within the next hundred years (Stephen Hawking said it, and he's a
fairly bright fellow), and the fact that we probably won't and what
is the ideal way for me to achieve power and glory in the
On a typical Friday night I am
Working until 10 for money I can immediately use to go out and pay
for overpriced alcohol.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once drove through a deer in my monstrous SUV on the highway,
then when a cop showed up he told me not to worry about it because
I'd had the right of way.
You should message me if
You can make me laugh. You don't place much stake in being
conventional. You're intelligent, creative and passionate.