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SparkyMcChewtoy

33 Chesapeake, VA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–36
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Politics / Government
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Wants kids
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
The 3...correction, 4 best jokes ever told, in no particular order:

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WatAAAAAAAAAA!!

What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaaay!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow?
Interrupting cow...
MOOOOOOO!!!!!

Hysterical. I swear to god those are the best jokes ever told.

So, time for some actual information. I can be a laid back guy and am for the most part. There are things that will get very passionate about and it can be hard to talk me down. I'm a stereotypical "nice guy." I came to terms with that a long time ago. I am what I am. Thanks Popeye.

I may not support the leaders, but I support the sailors, Marines, soldiers, and airmen. If you don't, go away.

I am deathly afraid of snakes. Like, paralyzing fear. Satan's first form was a serpent. Does this not tell you anything?! Stupid devil spawn slithery pieces of crap.

I do my best to treat whomever I'm with the best I can. No one's perfect, but hey, I try.

P.S. Stitch is the greatest Disney character ever created. A close second is the dragon played by Eddie Murphy in Mulan. WHAT?!?! Didn't know a dude could watch Disney films, did ya? They're funny as hell!!!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work very hard at my job and believe I am one of the best at what I do. That's not arrogance, just confidence. I believe that what I do is important and enjoy it.

Taking care of the puppy, my dad, and soon my grandmother.

Want more school. (Wait...did I just say that?!?!)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
My job (see above), I'm a decent guitar player, I can make almost anyone laugh, and I'm good at deflecting this type of question because I'm not an arrogant person. I don't know what I'm good at...just what I enjoy doing.

Yes, I can deflect this question, but there are some things I know I'm good at. I can turn anything into a sexual innuendo. I know what you're thinking: "Most guys can." Well, that may be true, but I have a gift. Try me.

And on a "dating" note...I believe I'm a pretty damn good kisser. I've never kissed myself though, so I'm going off the fact that I haven't gotten any complaints.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Wouldn't other people have to answer this? I don't know what people notice when they first meet me.

Here's a challenge...take a look at the pictures I have uploaded. Tell me something you notice and I'll post it here. I will even give you credit.

Jennaloo338: She said I have gorgeous eyes and friendly smile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Dan Brown (DaVinci Code, Deception Point, etc.), the Harry Potter series, a good non-fiction coffee table book, The Four Agreements.

Movies: Holy crap...I'm going to crash this site with this. You know what? Just ask. I have a LOT of movies. Although, anyone who has laughed at a Mel Brooks movie immediately gets kudos.

Music: I will not say that I like everything. That's cliche and not true for me. I don't like everything. I tend to lean toward the heavier side of rock, which probably includes stuff that most people don't like. I have a theory though. I will find at least one song that I like from every style of music. Right now, I'm doing pretty well with it.

Food: Does it taste good? Good, give it to me. That's not real difficult, is it? Except NO MUSHROOMS!! Some tops though are Japanese, Chinese, Hungarian, German, Mom's Fried Chicken, Mom's chicken fajitas (which I now know how to make), and good old-fashioned American pizza. Seriously though...no damned mushrooms. None. Stop it.

TV: Saw someone add a TV category here, so I'm stealin' their thunder. Barclay's Premier League, Big Bang Theory (Thanks, Em!!!), Game of Thrones, Newsroom, House, ESPN, football (can't wait until September), auto racing (usually not NASCAR-there's better stuff out there), cool non-fiction stuff on Discovery/Science like Mythbusters, Top Gear, stand-up comedy, and Comedy Central. Also, if there's a good movie on HBO, I'm down.

Sports Teams!!!
Football: 49ers until the day I die.
Hockey: No favorite team, but I'm cheering for whatever team is playing against the Washington Capitals and Pittsburgh Penguins. I can't stand Ovechkin or Crosby.
Soccer: Manchester City! Go Citizens!!

Big car fan. I can be pretty opinionated here, but always up for debate. But seriously, why did ALL of the 4 door sedans from the 1980's look EXACTLY the same?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Again, not going for the cliche here, so family and friends are givens. Let's go outside the box.

1. Having a dog in my life (they're the best, ain't they?)
2. Something good to drink at just the right time. An ice-cold Gatorade in the middle of August is a beautiful thing. What? I work outside most of the time. August sucks. Damn humidity.
3. Something to do. Even if it's nothing. Doing nothing is not the same as being bored.
4. A challenge. No matter how small.
5. A pillow to place my head at night. Something to be said for an actual bed to sleep on. We should all be so fortunate.
6. Something beyond the end. Interpret that how you want.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I also love movies quotes and other random tidbits of wisdom:

"I had a mild panic attack earlier."
"That's 'cause you a pussy."

"Open your mind. Something might just fall in."

"You wanna throw down, you pubic 'fro-head?"

"Seize this, Honkus!"

If you can give me the movies for quotes 1, 3, and 4, then you get a cookie. A free cookie from Subway. Apparently, some stores have free cookies on Friday. So if you guess right on Monday, you have to wait until Friday to get your cookie.

"If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably getting my ass whooped by the puppy. I have the scars and bruises to prove it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm also stealing this from another's profile: I talk to my dog like he can talk back. Because he can.

One more thing, and it's not really private (I'll show you if you ask). I have a perfectly flat part of my skull, right at the crown of my head (where your hair gets swirly at the back). I can balance almost anything on there, especially beer bottles. You can actually open a beer bottle while it is balancing on my head. Seriously. There's a bartender in Myrtle Beach that saw my buddy do it. Her name is Heather. Go ask her.

I tend to freak people out with my memory. I can recall names, numbers, and situations of almost anything I've been involved in at my job.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have to be able to hold an intelligent conversation/debate/discussion. I can't stand it when someone believe they are right because they are right. In other words, don't say, "No, that's not right because I say it's not right and I don't like your point of view." If you don't like my viewpoint, back it up with evidence and passion.

There's also something to be said for a woman who has absolutely NO idea how beautiful she is. A lot of times, you can tell that from the pictures she posts on here, but that's not a guarantee. This also isn't always correct. Once you actually talk to someone, you get a perfect idea how shallow/self-aware they are. Are you that person?

Additionally, if any part of this profile made you laugh. I like knowing I can make you laugh. I'll keep doing it..