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Spauldo81

34 Wyoming, MI Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Jul 28
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Religion
Other
Sign
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Education
Income
Less than $20,000
Status
Open relationship
Type
Mostly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have." -Roger Rabbit

About me? I am passionate about the people and things I love and will fight for them. I am one of the kindest people you'll ever meet, and I can, usually, prove this within the first 5 minutes of meeting you. I love to laugh, and mine is infectious. I am an odd duck who is, both, extremely patient and anxious. I prefer avoiding large crowds, however, I do know how to have a good time and appreciate the company I'm with.

I have a BS in film and video production, and I take work when I can, but to pay the bills I'm a non-certified teacher in special education, and I love it! My classroom is high school SXI, and working with my students is the most fun I've had in awhile, even on the bad days. I have the smile, as well as the scars, to prove it. Their personalities are so addicting. I also provide respite care to some very nice, and very cool, guys.

I hope to find someone who shares my similar interests. I'm a bit of a geek; comics, movies, video games, horror (zombies!), cartoons (The Simpsons!), etc. I enjoy that kindof stuff. I guess a kid at heart is a good way to describe me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Having fun when I can get it, enjoying my jobs, taking care of other people's pets better than them, looking for the perfect scalp massage, looking for heavy conversations and light mischief, hunting for the happiness I deserve, and most importantly, trying to hold in my farts.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening, video games, being a decent human being, doing sit-ups, doing voices, making up songs, spouting off useless facts and random quotes, and making ladies wet down there.

Let me clarify, by "down there" I'm obviously referring to their eyes since most women's eye-level is lower than mine, and the reason they're wet is due to the joyous tears from laughter I caused with my weird and witty personality. See I can explain jokes too. Oh wait, that ruins the joke! What have I done?!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I resemble a werewolf. At least that's what most of the students I used to substitute teach for thought. It got to the point were they would call me Mr. Wolf because they couldn't pronounce my last name haha!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Mostly of the graphic persuasion, The Crow, The Preacher, World War Z, Battle Royale, Books of Blood, Mankind: Have a Nice Day, Hunter S. Thompson, George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Clive Barker, Chuck Palahnuik, Cormac McCarthy, Robert Kirkman, Garth Ennis.

Movies: Memento, Donnie Darko, Halloween, Evil Dead, Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky, The Shining, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Big Lebowski, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

Shows: The Simpsons, Futurama, South Park, Arrested Development, Bob's Burgers Upright Citizens Brigade, Trailer Park Boys, Breaking Bad, The Venture Bros., Hellsing, Samurai Champloo, pro-wrestling!!!, Phelous, Obscurus Lupa, Pewdiepie, Inside Gaming/Funhaus

Music: Tool, Puscifer, NIN, TV on the Radio, Josh Homme, The Rolling Stones, The Kills, The Raveonettes, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Combichrist, Korn, Static-X, KMFDM, Massive Attack, AWOLnation, Alt J; the song "Electric Love" from Bob's Burgers is one of the greatest songs of this century, thought you should know

Food: hamburgers (I make one of the best you'll ever eat), burritos/tacos, Chinese, pizza, Alfredo, chicken wraps, and I am slowly perfecting the common salad.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Jay
2. Friends/Family
3. Head rubs and back massages
4. The Simpsons
5. Working out
6. Left 4 Dead

oh... and food, air, water.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
WET, HOT, DRIPPING SEX!! Now that I have your attention... GENITALS!!!

Jay.

How much these people are getting paid to make all these fake profiles?

Is this what I want?

It is said that an orgasm is "the little death," and that sneezes are comparable to having an orgasm. Does this mean that sneezes could be called "the tiniest death?"

Why people who believe in angels don't also believe in zombies?

Why creepypastas freak me out so much?

What are souls made out of? Are they a gas or a liquid?

If vodka companies are in cahoots with manufacturers of insulin? I mean, come on, sugar cookie and caramel flavored vodkas! Yeah, I'm sure they're not marketing to kids ;)

Why do I use old-timey speak, like cahoots?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hanging out with Seth.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm Batman, but don't tell Bruce Wayne. I still owe that dickhead $50!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to share your smile with someone on a quiet Sunday in hopes something better happens for us both.

Trust me, I know my situation is not ideal; for many reasons. I have a girlfriend who I love and my jobs can be demanding, but I am serious about dedicating my time and attention to someone equally passionate. Honestly, I don't expect many women to want what I'm willing to offer, but please know that I am not looking for booty-calls. I want to explore my happiness and find someone who wants to fight for me and with me; side by side.

If you are one of the few who have read past the 'open relationship' part of my profile then I will preemptively say, "Hello." I'm usually on here answering the questions, so if all you want to do is chat, then say, "hi, I'm (insert name)." That's usually a good place to start.

Also, if you want to exchange answers to all the questions. I have a feeling I aced it.