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28 Bronx, NY Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 30–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 1:02pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Working on university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), LISP (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
You know how people like to lead their profile off with a "Check me out; I get around" ordered list of places in which they've lived? Get ready for mine, baby-cakes.

San Diego, CA> St Paul, MN> San Diego, CA> Big Bear, CA> Mahomet, IL> Youngstown, OH> Champaign/Urbana, IL> Sadorus, IL> Phoenix, AZ> Mahomet, IL> Oak Park, IL> St. Paul, MN> Mahomet, IL> Modesto, CA> San Ramon, CA> Oconomowoc, WI> Milwaukee, WI> Minneapolis, Mn> St Paul, MN> Palm Coast, FL> Brooklyn, NY> Bronx, NY (>?)

Yeeks, 21 pointy things. (Weren't you counting?) Like studs on a crust punk's "fragrant" jacket. Those arrows speak a language of strength and boldness. Shuffling around the country sculpted me into a highly-adaptable and personable creature... but one who always worries when the next wicked case of wanderlust will choose to strike. (Typically after two years of living in a single location.) Then it's off again...

Eh, to be honest- I'm sort of lacking the gusto required to promote myself. "Ooh, ooh! Pick me! I'm mate-with-able!" So I think I'm just going to fake this profile out with a semi-coherent-shmangle of text blurbs. Romance your pants right off!

(Admission: Maybe it's just the sterilized nature of the online dating sphere that leaves me less-than-breathless. Because every doe-eyed girl (or boy) dreeeeaams to meet the man (or woman) of their heart's most earnest and wild imaginings through a slick, companion selection app. The Soulless Soulmate Shopping Center. Are you experiencing difficulty finding the type of product you are searching for?

Hmmm. What organic options remain when (even when we are swimming in a sea of other humans) the fear of being the slightest bit vulnerable to one another weighs too heavily upon our minds for us to muster the courage to puff up our hearts and bridge the chasm between ourselves and the other person. It's pitiful. But.. anyways. Let's own up to our inability to forge meaningful connections in the "real world" and embrace this online dating machine, right? Yeah-That's the spirit!)

And now that THAT elephant has been herded out of the room...

The Rest of My Profile:

I recommend that you review my questions 'with explanations'; you'll get a rough picture of how my brain does (and doesn't) work.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Currently working at NYBG, attending school, and making scary faces at babies.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

I have artistic talent but I don't have any interest in leaping into a painting career. Fine to have as a hobby, though.

I'm appallingly bad at:

Texting. I'm over here pecking each individual letter in with my pointer finger. It's a joke. A jar of molasses could type a reply swifter than I could. Pfft. Maybe you should just save yourself some time and date a jar of molasses.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Nowadays it's this copper-plated cranium that I've been rocking... Oxidation is always a concern, though. Will the menfolk mind when the dusty, seafoam green sets in?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Go here...

Podcasts: Radiolab, Stuff You Should Know, Inquiring Minds, Intelligence Squared Debates, Thinking Allowed (See what they did there? Thinking Aaaa-loud? 'Cuz it's a podcast and that involves talking... Just wanted to point that out because I'm extremely worried that such a clever name is not getting its deserved laud.) and, last but not least, The Bugle.

Movies: Amelie, Rubber, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Even Dwarves Started Small, Lolita, Daisies, The Holy Mountain, Funky Forest, Memento, Mirrormask, The Fall, Inception, Being John Malkovitch, Blue Velvet, Adaptation, I <3 Huckabees, Dancer in the Dark, Lars & the Real Girl, The Ballad of Jack & Rose, Waking Life, Pi, The Big Lebowski, Raising Arizona, Grey Gardens, Harold & Maude, Bringing up Baby, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Monty Python: Holy Grail, The Meaning of Life. The old Pink Panther movies with Peter Sellers also were fabulous...

Documentaries: Inequality for All, Beauty is Embarrassing, Jesus Camp, Kumare, The Zeitgeist trilogy, Earthlings, Planet Earth.

Shows: Cosmos, Nova, Nature, Twin Peaks, Arrested Development, Peep Show, Children's Hospital, Flight of The Conchords, Portlandia, Whitest Kids You Know, Mr. Show, Community, Sarah Silverman Show, and Shaye Saint John when I'm craving something especially weird.


Food: I try to stick to stuff that isn't molding or rotten. I found this great place in my area that sells parasite-free meat, so I've been plunking down the extra cash for that.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Sources of new, educational information (e.g. podcasts, books, documentaries, museums, etc.) sources of laughter, tea, wholesome food, nature walks, and sleep.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The usual... whether the cosmoshitstuff vibrating inside the infinite loopisms form a glimmering doorway to the quarty-vith dimension and if the song of the lunar moth is the same frequency as that of our white star mother.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
... curled up in the fetal position; rocking back and forth; and chanting these words: "Come unto me! Oh, magnificent, flame-eyed jackal of unending amusement! Hark! Drool upon me that fragrant, syrupy drool of a typical Friday so that I might know its frontal-lobe-lobatamizing taste and stew in the "richness" brought on by a life that is lived with the single purpose of impressing others! I am clay; mold me into the likeness of a Stepford Wife- so that I might snare a high-earning specimen of the male species in my succubus net, and promptly proceed to populate the planet with more beautiful, maggot-brained hedonists."

And knitting.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I used to have Pica as a child and would eat coinage and various other metal bits.

Umm, what?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to grab tea and explore one of the many awesome museums within our realm... or you think you can 'out-weird' me?

Surfing the profiles on OkCupid has resulted in this buzzword salad amalgamation: "Beard with 35mm camera just trying to organic everything on-a-stick and become a plaid human bicycle. Really hipstering hard at the moment for this band called The Contrived Bundle of Words We Just Thought Sounded Cool Together. Hoping to find a manic-pixie dream girl to coffee, coffee, and black horn-rimmed glasses around town with." Gag. Please let this not be be you.

Also, I've been tending toward the silver foxes lately. In fact, the primary motivator that led to me reactivating my OkCupid recently was this wish of mine: to lessen the feelings that have been brewing within me for a gay man thirty-five years my senior. Yes, really. And, in spite of the utter lack of promise with this person, I feel as if my heart won't allow me to move on. I need a powerfully charming someone to come wrestle my heart away from this ridiculous fantasy.