Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

SquashTheState

32 Ottawa, Ontario, CA Woman, Genderqueer

Woman, Genderqueer

Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 28–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 3:05am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Average
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Sign
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Other
Status
Single
Type
Non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Speaks
English, French
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
It was about time I overhauled this profile and started over! It's still me, obviously, but I've pared things down a little and made some updates.

Politically, I'm an anarchist. I have profoundly egalitarian ideals and spent several years involved in activist projects, union work, and collectively running an anarchist bookstore/library. After a few years' respite, I'm taking stock of where I'm at and where to direct my limited energy.

I consider myself genderqueer and I tend to be interested in men. I lost interest in sex for a few years, but I've recently begun to rediscover it. If we have the right chemistry, then I'm open to exploring that. I enjoy (negotiated) power-play and identify as a bottom.

I'm polyamorous: I believe one can love multiple people and maintain multiple ongoing, loving, committed relationships. This doesn't mean all my relationships look the same; it means that I'm open to exploring various kinds of connections with new people and I do not treat dating as a stepping stone toward monogamy. If you are currently partnered, please understand that I am not interested in becoming an accessory to your relationship. I am not into hierarchical poly configurations, which tend to treat non-primary partners as disposable, and I don't do vetoes or DADT. I do want to build romantic relationships and intimate friendships (lovers, playmates, cuddle-buddies) with single and paired people who recognize me as an equal participant in the decisions that affect me. I am interested in building life partnerships, but recognize that those connections are rare.

I finally read the new poly book More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory, and it is easily the most interesting and useful thing I've read on the subject thus far. If you need further convincing, it includes references to Emma Goldman, Neil deGrasse Tyson, *and* Douglas Adams! 'nuf said.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
After spending too many years in school pursuing degrees in subjects that no longer brought me joy, I decided to try my hand at organic farming. I'm currently farming a small plot of rented land in the city but I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it a viable long-term thing. Essentially, I'm trying to find a balance between my values and paying the bills, but in a way that doesn't bore, hurt, or exhaust me. I'm considering attending library school in 2016 to build a solid Plan C.

I love to grow, cook, preserve, and find creative ways to prepare food. I've worked in health food retail, sold my own produce and homemade preserves, and worked on organic farms. I have a couple of food-related jobs that shift with the seasons. My free time usually involves hanging out with friends, playing my banjo or manjo, cooking/canning/dehydrating food, or working on a variety of projects.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Critical thinking while also being very open-minded. Reading books while walking. Empathy.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My tattoos, usually. Also, my eyes and the fact that I'm always smiling. I've been told that I have a "sunny" personality.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Anything by Ivan E. Coyote, Dean Spade, or Douglas Adams. I feel drawn to material from/about the Appalachian region, such as works by Harriette Simpson Arnow and Mary Noailles Murfree. I like a lot of nonfiction as well, including Emma Goldman's "Living my Life" and various works on anarchist theory & practice (esp. Cindy Milstein), alternative relationships, discussions of gender/sexuality/queer issues, alternative mental health, prison abolition, some labour history, transformative justice, food politics... Oh, and Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. Obviously.

Movies/TV: I'm a sap for terrible rom-coms, and I really like British humour, sci-fi comedy, zombie and apocalyptic themes, and the occasional documentary.

Music: I'm generally pretty fond of DIY folk-punk, punk, folk, bluegrass... I love banjo music so much. Saves the Day and Chopin will always hold a special place in my heart.

Webcomics: xkcd, Homestar Runner (esp. Teen Girl Squad!), and sometimes PhD Comics.

Podcasts: Poly Weekly, The Ruminant, Vinyl Cafe, Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids, Tell Me Something Good...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I don't like this question. I devour audiobooks and podcasts while farming, so that's important...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Food. Prefigurative politics & practice. The state of the world. Consent & boundaries. Accountability.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not private about this at all, but in 2008 I had my tubes tied to guarantee that I will never bear children. Thank fucking god.

I should also mention that I have a pretty terrible memory. I can usually remember how I felt about a book I've read or a movie I've seen, but it's pretty unlikely that I'd be able to synopsize it for you!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're welcome to message me if you think we might hit it off or find some sort of special connection, but I tend to ignore and/or delete (and/or troll) obnoxious or canned messages.

I want more people in my life who are trying to become the best possible versions of themselves, especially in terms of how they treat other people. My Myers-Briggs personality type is INFJ, which means I pretty much have a built-in asshole- and bullshit-radar and prefer to spend my time with people who are honest, caring, genuine, sincere, etc...