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32 Ottawa, Ontario, CA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 28–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:19am
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body type
Not at all
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
English, French

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
None of the gender or sexuality label options on the site feel right to describe me; I don't clearly identify as "straight" or "gay" or "bisexual". In general, I present as fairly androgynous and I tend to be interested in men and masculine-presenting people. I'm a big cuddler and really enjoy physical affection, but I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about sex. I'm not opposed to it, I've even had some recently that was mind-blowing and earth-shattering, but it takes a pretty special connection to inspire that kind of desire in me. In any case, you must be queer or queer-friendly and open to relationships that don't necessarily include sex.

I feel pretty baffled by this whole dating thing. My tendency has been to fall into long-term relationships with good friends, so dating seems like a fairly superficial and inorganic way to build relationships. That said, I've wound up making some dear friends through this site, so it's not all bad :P

I keep having to revise this paragraph to reflect some convergence of what I desire and what I actually have time for. I've read much about polyamoury and it appears to encompass the relationship styles that best fit my desires and my understandings of life and love. Even so, I'm still relatively new to poly in practice. I believe one can love multiple people at the same time; I believe friendships can include varying degrees of intimacy, including romantic, sensual, and/or sexual components; and I believe there are many relationship styles in between and around these that are equally worthy of recognition and respect. More than anything, I am committed to poly's ethical orientation--it's all about openness, honesty, and communication!

I don't think I'm asexual, but I find many reflections of myself in writings by the asexual/graysexual community. My sex-related answers in the Questions section of the profile might not necessarily reflect this. I'm still sorting through this side of myself, so I will appreciate your patience and understanding.

Although I hesitate to put too much stock in documents that single out one individual as representative of an entire movement or lifestyle, I still find this interview about asexuality to be pretty amazing. The second half, in particular, really speaks to me:

This is one of the best pieces I've ever read on polyamoury, and I strongly encourage you to give it a whirl:

I should also mention that my politics are pretty anarchistic, and I won't stand for any racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, classist, ableist, sizist, or otherwise oppressive "jokes" or comments. That being said, I also recognize that nobody is perfect and that we all make mistakes and errors in judgement--myself included. As someone who is always trying to be a better person, I want to be informed (gently) if I say or do problematic things, and I expect my friends and partners to be equally open to it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
After spending too many years in school pursuing degrees in subjects that no longer brought me joy, I recently realized that I wanted my life to be about food. I love to grow, cook, preserve, and find creative ways to prepare food. I've worked in health food retail, sold my own garden produce and homemade preserves, and worked on organic farms.

Currently, I'm running my own organic farm business out of my apartment and on a tiny piece of rented land, full-time for several months of the year and part-time for the rest. Trying to figure out if I can make this a viable long-term thing! I also have a couple of food-related part-time jobs that shift with the seasons. My "free" time usually involves hanging out with friends, playing my banjo or manjo, cooking/canning/dehydrating food, or working on a variety of projects.

The farm takes up most of my time for a good chunk of the year, but I'm trying to hang on to some sort of social life in the midst of it all!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Growing and preparing food, of course. Critical thinking while also being very open-minded. I write pretty well, and I have a special knack for reading books while walking. I've been told I'm a good listener, but I'm getting tired of people who expect this without returning the favour. In high school I was really good at math but never pursued it; I've been wanting to re-learn it for fun, but can't seem to find the time.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My tattoos, usually. Also, my eyes and the fact that I'm always smiling. I've been told that I have a "sunny" personality.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Anything by Ivan E. Coyote, Dean Spade, or Douglas Adams. I feel drawn to material from/about the Appalachian region, such as works by Harriette Simpson Arnow and Mary Noailles Murfree. I like a lot of nonfiction as well, including Emma Goldman's "Living my Life" and various works on anarchist theory & practice (esp. Cindy Milstein), alternative relationships, discussions of gender/sexuality/queer issues, alternative mental health, prison abolition, some labour history, transformative justice, food politics...

Movies/TV: I should note that I haven't owned a TV in years, nor do I expect to own one in the future, and entertainment media really isn't (aren't?) an important part of my life. When I do watch stuff, though, I'm a sap for terrible rom-coms, and I really like British humour, sci-fi comedy, zombie themes, and the occasional documentary. I also have a weakness for movies featuring end-of-the-world scenarios. My favourite TV show of all time is probably 3rd Rock from the Sun.

Music: I'm generally pretty fond of DIY folk-punk, punk, folk, bluegrass, and some other stuff I don't know how to categorize. Saves the Day and Chopin will always hold a special place in my heart.

Webcomics: xkcd, Homestar Runner (esp. Teen Girl Squad!), and sometimes PhD Comics.

Podcasts: Poly Weekly, The Ruminant, Vinyl Cafe, Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My multi-tool, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a garden, a well-stocked kitchen, trains(!), and cuddles!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Food. Prefigurative politics & practice. The state of the world. Consent & boundaries. Accountability.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not private about this at all, but in 2008 I had my tubes tied to guarantee that I will never bear children. Although I don't have any desire to bear kids of "my own", I am open to meeting people with kids. Also, since this is marginally related, I am interested in developing serious, long-term, committed relationships but I have no interest in state-sanctioned marriage... although I *might* consider it if your job's health insurance offers excellent spousal benefits :P

I should also mention that I have a pretty terrible memory. I can usually remember how I felt about a book I've read or a movie I've seen, but it's pretty unlikely that I'd be able to synopsize it for you!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're welcome to message me if you think we might hit it off or find some sort of special connection, but I tend to ignore and/or delete obnoxious or canned messages.

My Myers-Briggs personality type is INFJ, which means I pretty much have a built-in asshole- and bullshit-radar and prefer to spend my time with people who are honest, caring, genuine, sincere, etc...