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34 Alexandria, VA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 1″ (1.86m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly anything
Christianity, and somewhat serious about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Politics / Government
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Ladies, I'm a bigger guy! Don't be shocked when you see that I'm shaped like a barrel. Plenty of women think that's attractive. My pics are recent but I have a gut. That's life! I'm 34, it's to be expected, lol. I'm still a pretty handsome guy... Just saying.

Life rocks! I'm good at it and
I'd love to meet someone who is happy too! That means different things to different people; I've found balance and that's what I'm looking for!

Just a few things that help in finding utopia; find someone that makes you laugh, every day! I'll get into the rest later but the key is to laugh. I want anti-stress; kinda like scientists are looking for anti-matter/dark energy/whatever they're calling it this week. Just be balanced and enjoy life! You only get one; unless you're Hindu. That was not meant to be offensive; if you took offense, goodbye!

If you want to hear some funny stories about my youth, just ask; I have several. Most of them are stupid things I did when I was growing up that are awesome, looking back. Most of my stories involve my brother and fire or some other element of danger. Like I said, pure awesomeness. Since I work for the Fed. I'll leave that vague until you ask me about my prior exploites.

My ideal woman is someone who is self-actualized, knows who she is and what she wants. If you're still figuring yourself out maybe you need some more time in the oven... I'm good with me and ready to share my awesome life. I'm pretty sure I can make you laugh but if you can make me laugh, I want to meet you. Most of my humor comes from life stories and personal narrative on society.

I once saw a spider monkey slap a little boy for grabbing his tail at the "Pet-a-pet Farm." It happened when I was eleven and I still laugh out loud when I think of that kid getting owned by a pissed primate.

Standup comedy is one of my favorite things to watch. I briefly had aspirations of comedic glory and took an improv class at the DC Improv. Let's just say the class was great fun but it taught me that I am not as funny as I think I am. However, several of the other people were hilarious.

All forms of comedy appeal to me. Sometimes I just want to sit back and watch some low brow Kevin Smith movies but other times I like slapstick humor. Chris Farley is hilarious! Family Guy is great in small doses. I love British humor in all of it's awkwardness. The original "Office" with Ricky Gervais is hilarious. I guess I like anything that makes light of life. Stuffy people are great targets for jokes. Anyone who takes themselves too seriously kinda irks me.

If you have a sense of humor I'd love to meet you. If you have absolutely no sense of humor I'd really love to meet you! I'm always looking for new material.

I'm a simple guy. The only name brand thing I own is my Harley. Fiscally responsible is how I'd classify my "style." Plain t-shirts and jeans are just about all I wear when not working. I'm not a big fan of getting all dolled up for no good reason. However, I look damn good in a suit and tie. Throw me a special occasion and I'll show you!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living it yo!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh! Being politically incorrect. Making fun out of nothing.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Usually, I get compliments on my smile or my eyes. I know that's not very original but, in case you haven't noticed, people aren't very original. I've had a few women compliment my voice. I'm pretty much your average Joe with a better than average sense of humor.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I was an English major for undergrad so I tend to like the classics; like, The Great Gatsby, To Kill a Mockingbird, Catcher in the Rye and It can't Happen Here.

I love comedy movies like Stripes, Caddyshack, Spaceballs, Old School, Anchorman, Ghostbusters and anything else with Bill Murray in it.

Some of my favorite TV shows are Family Guy, The Cleveland Show, American Dad, American Chopper, Dead Like Me, The Chapelle Show, Tosh .O, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

I like all music but love Classic Rock, Country, Modern Rock and Hip-Hop are my favorites. Classical has it's moments but I'm not the type of guy to rock out to some sweet Bach!

I don't have a favorite food but I should note that I'm not a big fan of seafood...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My Cell Phone
My Media Collection (Music and Movies)
Live Music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My career and where my life is going. Honestly, I like what I see!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working the door at my second job in Arlington until 2am then staying up until 4am because I've been drinking red bull for six hours straight. Like Danny Glover, I'm getting too old for this shit, haha!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I knew what a shart was before the movie "Along Came Pauly" came out. No pun intended!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to laugh every day for the rest of your life. You want it all.

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