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26 Chicago, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 27–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 6:46pm
Queer, Gay, Homoflexible
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Atheism but it’s not important
Wants kids
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat), Russian (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've been accused of being a WASP and a pedant, but both are only partially true. I'm a bit of a cynic, but I'm mostly pragmatic. I also go to bed way too late at night. I crave conversations that flow without effort. I'm frigid, but still appreciate warmth.

I'm always in need of a nap (and hopefully you are too.)

I've always been enchanted with a lack of breeding and I'm far less photogenic than most people (I blame flash.)

I'm a shrewish harpy with a spinster's mindset.
I am a practical joke.
Soft butch.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Account Management.
Consumption of media.
Consumption of wine.
Being accused of witchcraft.
Playing video games when I get the chance.
Contemplating whether i have the energy to apply for a graduate program.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Words, small talk, eye contact.

Leaving my head uncovered.

Entertaining your mother.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My lack of a shadow.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Glamorama, Rules of Attraction, Less than Zero, and Imperial Bedrooms by Bret Easton Ellis
Bright Lights, Big City & Story of My Life by Jay McInerney
Colors Insulting to Nature by Cintra Wilson
The City and the Pillar by Gore Vidal
The Secret History by Donna Tartt

The Royal Tenenbaums
The House of Yes
Annie Hall
Pioniere in Ingolstadt
Die Ehe der Maria Braun
Broken English
Love and Death
Murder by Death
The Cheap Detective

30 Rock
Grace & Frankie
Happy Endings
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman
Arrested Development
Strangers with Candy
Cougar Town
Jane the Virgin
The Comeback

Joanna Newsom
Kate Bush
Elvis Costello
Neutral Milk Hotel
Lou Reed/Nico/The Velvet Underground
Carole King
Laura Nyro
Owen Pallett
Dusty Springfield
The Mountain Goats
Cat Stevens
The Smiths/Morrissey
The Cars

The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my toes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
when my mundane tasks will start turning into film montages with a vintage soundtrack (right now, I'm thinking "doing dishes while Bruce Springsteen's 10th Avenue Freeze-Out plays.")
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
deflecting your advances, you cad.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I wish I had a dowry so this whole online dating thing would be easier.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You don't mind that I'm a bit plain (I prefer to be called homely, but no one else does.) You are tall. You want to hear about farm life. You're proud of your work. You think flakiness is a cardinal sin. You would never dare use "renaissance man" to describe yourself. You want a response. You have fond feelings for Northwestern.

If we get one of those match emails from OKCupid, I'm probably giving you the go ahead. I won't be mean, I promise. Seriously.

You can carry a conversation. It's an underrated art form.