Intensive study and eventual mastery of bipedalism (and before that more general terrestrial locomotion).
Moderate mastery in linguistics. Primary field of study was english; Secondary was gobbledygook.
Developed basic proficiency in pizza then french fry skiing styles.
General mastery of ‘potty’ skills.
Successfully read a book that was primarily composed of words, not pictures.
Scored a lot of goals in AYSO.
Did not flunk out of public school, in-fact was somehow rewarded for ‘thinking outside the box,” and was put in a *special* class.
Learned to pronounce the letters S and R.
Often commended on my firm handshake.
Carved a whale out of soap in Boy Scouts.
Was only awkward for most of these years.
Survived coddling and picturesque prep school. Avoided Cruel Intentions type situations.
Escaped small town.
Lost state championship in soccer 5-0.
Did not crash first car.
Went to college. Graduated almost on time. Was once told that I have “a lot of potential.”
Had two roommates drop out of college without telling me, was rewarded with single dorm rooms for the remainder of each year.
Tried to use every page in my passport-- cheated by getting full page visas.
Purchased a few hundred sombreros for a cinco de mayo party.
Once received a noise complaint for a party that included in excess of 600 people.
First five employee at large enterprise tech startup. Ran much of business and operations. Somehow managed not to kill company.
Learned to dive.
Learned to drive a stick.
Pet and child free.
Started a company. Not a failure but not yet a success.