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Goober_Fantastic

22 Seattle, WA Woman

Woman

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–36
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes cats
Speaks
English, French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I was homeschooled by religious fundies and now I'm weird. I've only been exposed to the real world for a few years, so I occasionally display an impressive lack of knowledge of basic life skills like operating at the post office or pronouncing words correctly.

I'm disgustingly optimistic despite being a hardcore INTP. I like everything, I love everyone. I became enlightened today.

I'm really bad at being illogical or basing beliefs on things that aren't scientifically backed, even though I wear a lot of hippie pants and have tapestries all over my walls. I'm so constantly in my head I walk into walls and don't remember how to drive to places I've already been 3 times and I don't smell that leftover Chinese food from last week.
If you say "studies show that" before you tell me a fact, I will believe you. This is my weakness. Please don't exploit it.

I am a libertarian, polyamorous, and a hermit. I look for sources cited in tabloid magazines. I approach shopping for clothes like I do hunting boar. I am attracted to desserts with right angles. I give inaccurate facial responses to emotional situations. I am disturbed by babies. I don't like physical contact with people I haven't had sex with.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Getting naked and eating pizza. Don't worry I'm really successful at it.

I am not scared of being homeless, even though I've never been homeless and homeless people would probably throw garbage food and beer cans at me for saying that.

I moved 10 times in the last 3 years in 2 countries and 6 cities, and am now attempting to be stable for like... an ENTIRE year. Maybe even two. I'm living in a house full of young single women who do sex work. If you ever come over to my house you are walking into a legendary domicile of tits and philosophy and not a single one of us is a feminist oh my god I love them so much.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Photoshop, miming, growing hair, dressing like I'm Amish, typing, (record 173awpm motherfuckers), locating logical fallacies, and sweating.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I walk really straight because I took walking lessons. I make very exaggerated faces and hand motions and frequently deviate from standard responses to conversation. If I have to go to the bathroom for torrential diarrheasplosions I will tell you it's because of torrential diarrheasplosions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Fantasy/sci-fi. Ender's Game, Permutation City, a Song of Ice and Fire, The Metamorphosis of the Prime Intellect, Kushiel's Dart, Arthur, The Tombs of Atuan, Name of the Wind, Reaper Man, Wicked, Rant, the Curse of Chalion, the Sword of Truth, the Fifth Life of the Catwoman, DADOES, Elements of Style, the Legend of Huma, Howl's Moving Castle, The Hobbit, LotR, Elantris, Wild Seed, and many, many, many others.

TV/Movies: Firefly and Serenity, How I Met Your Mother, Lord of the Rings, Amelie, Reno 911, Chronicle, Game of Thrones, Before Sunrise, The Fountain

Music: I don't know man. I like Alt-J lately. And Caravan Palace is pretty neat. Lots of indie bullshit. I like Clint Mansell and Max Richter and Olafur Arnalds and Thriftworks. I grew up eating a solid diet of Nightwish.

Video Games: TF2 (engie-pyro-sniper), and more.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Social dancing (BALLROOM-BLUES-FUSION BUT FUCK SWING THOUGH, SWING IS OVERREPRESENTED)

My boobs. God, if I get breast cancer, I'm gonna kill myself. Fuck fighting that shit, the minute a mammary gland succumbs to a knife, I'm taking the byebye pill and having my boobs mounted taxidermy style on my grave.
(my plot brings all the boys to the yard)

Books. I have a problem.

GRAPHS. I sometimes graph my emotions to better understand them. And I love OKTrends and visual data. They make me feel smart with minimal effort.

Blankets. I'm always cold because I am severely lacking in blubber.

Game of Thrones. I'm a little bit aspergery over Game of Thrones. I know more about GoT world history than I do about American history.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The fact I'm going to die.

How to tell people, who don't know I am them, that I am them.

How to unite rationality with being god.

Also how to rob places and assassinate people. But for fun. Like recreational creative assassination.

Bitcoin.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing Team Fortress 2, drunken Omegling with a gas mask, Munchkin, reddit (r/okcupid anyone?), accordion playing, getting drunk with my beautiful roomates
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
your mom.

...

...

into my loins.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're into whuppin ass in bed, literally. I've only recently discovered that I can't get off without the most common fetish known to women, which upsets me cause I like being original.

And if you're smart/hilarious/zen as shit. I like those people.
I'm also sexually aroused by intelligence, so there's that.

Also make me laugh, just a little bit, jesus christ is it so hard. 78.7% (goo.gl/Xx9YZm) of all messages I get I can't tell apart cause it's either generic or supershort. Also the chances I will reply to you if our match is below 80% are very very low.

I don't say this to be an ass, I say this to let you know the competition isn't as fierce as you think it is so GO GET EM PARTNER

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