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Goober_Fantastic

23 Seattle, WA Woman

Woman

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–36
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:24pm
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Buddhism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Rather not say
Status
Single
Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes cats
Speaks
English, French (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am interested in attending a native U-District "frat and/or sorority" party, but will accept any general party of a drunken and/or belligerent nature. I am an excellent partygoer and am an affordable [read: free] way to brighten up any event. I have many skills, such as
*standing there
*holding drinks
*drinking drinks
*having good hair
*making smiles on my face
*acknowledging music
*quizzing attendees on how they manage in the face of our inevitable and slowly encroaching death

I more than fulfill all basic partygoing requirements, and have never once been evicted from a party on the basis of excessive intoxication. I am responsible and show up on time. I can provide references if need be. Please consider me as a candidate for your party. You can contact me with the 'message' button to your upper right. Thank you for your consideration.

----------------
INTP, molewoman, warm robot.

I was a fanatically devout religious fundie homeschooled my entire childhood by professionally religious fundies and now I'm in sex work, so I'm pretty sure Freud must be jizzing his coffin right now.

I've only been exposed to the real world for a few years, so I occasionally display a lack of basic life skills like operating at the post office or pronouncing words correctly.

I'm disgustingly optimistic. There is no hate left within me. I love you.

I'm really bad at believing things that aren't scientifically backed or internally consistent, despite my tapestry-heavy interior decorating and penchant for incense.
I really need to define everything before we can move forward.
I'm very absentminded. No, I don't smell that leftover Chinese food from last week under my pillow.
If you say "studies show that" before you tell me a fact, I will believe you. This is my weakness. Please don't exploit it.

I am libertarian, polyamorous, and a hermit. I look for sources cited in tabloid magazines. I approach shopping for clothes like I do hunting boar. I am attracted to desserts with right angles. I give inaccurate facial responses to emotional situations. I am disturbed by babies. I avoid all physical contact pre-alcohol, but post sex I'm like a cat on molly.

I am also impulsive and flighty. I'll want to meet you if the moon aligns and the crickets are chirping just right and probably also if I'm drunk.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am a professional internet comedy whore trying to move into the study of professional internet comedy whoring so I don't have to do the fucking comedy bit. You may have already seen me naked and mimehumping a chair/running from gnomes.

I am not scared of being homeless, even though I've never been homeless and homeless people would probably throw garbage food and beer cans at me for saying that.

I move with a buttfuckload of frequency, and am now attempting to be stable for like... an ENTIRE year. Maybe even two.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Photoshop, miming, growing hair, dressing like I'm Amish, typing, (record 173awpm motherfuckers), locating logical fallacies, and sweating.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I walk really straight because I took walking lessons. I make very exaggerated faces and hand motions because I'm terrified of you, and I frequently deviate from standard responses to conversation. If I have to go to the bathroom for torrential diarrheasplosions I will tell you it's because of torrential diarrheasplosions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Fantasy/sci-fi. Ender's Game/Shadow/Rest of the series, Permutation City, a Song of Ice and Fire, The Metamorphosis of the Prime Intellect, GEB, Kushiel's Dart, Arthur, The Tombs of Atuan, Name of the Wind, Reaper Man, Wicked, Rant, the Curse of Chalion, the Fifth Life of the Catwoman, DADOES, the Legend of Huma, Howl's Moving Castle, The Hobbit, LotR, Elantris, Wild Seed, and many others.

TV/Movies: Firefly and Serenity, Lord of the Rings, Amelie, Reno 911, Chronicle, Game of Thrones, Before Sunrise, The Fountain, Only Lovers Left Alive, various Star Treks.

Music: I don't know man. I like Alt-J lately. Lots of indie bullshit. I like Clint Mansell and Max Richter and Olafur Arnalds and Thriftworks. I grew up eating a solid diet of Nightwish.
I like sad music.
I'm not much into music from before 2008 cause I don't have the nostalgia for it. My nostalgia is triggered by unfortunate things like Jars of Clay or Casting Crowns or Keith Green.

Video Games: TF2 (engie-pyro-sniper), Banished, Sims (bite me) and lots of other one-time-through games.

I also like Lesswrong and Slatestarcodex, Reddit and Tumblr,
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Dancing, both social (ballroom-blues-fusion-etc.) and otherwise (bellydancing-flailing-etc.)

My boobs. God, if I get breast cancer, I'm gonna kill myself. Fuck fighting that shit, the minute a mammary gland succumbs to a knife, I'm taking the byebye pill and having my boobs mounted taxidermy style on my grave.
(my plot brings all the boys to the yard)

Books. I have a problem.

GRAPHS. I sometimes graph my emotions to better understand them. And I love OKTrends and visual data. They make me feel smart with minimal effort.

Blankets. I'm always cold because I am severely lacking in blubber.

Game of Thrones. I'm a little bit aspergery over Game of Thrones. I know more about ASOIAF world history than I do about American history. This may be hyperbole. I don't know. I learned history through books that told me that Columbus was rad and that America was founded specifically for God, so it's pretty likely.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Everybody naked.

The fact I'm going to die.

How to tell people, who don't know I am them, that I am them. How to more effectively demonstrate compassion and understanding to both myself and others. How to ask the right questions.

How to unite rationality with tripping balls.

What consciousness is and how to make it. Or just how to feel like we've made it. Because we can't know.

Also how to rob places and assassinate people. But for fun. Like recreational creative assassination.

How and why my thoughts just formed. Where did they come from? Can you feel it? And how to identify and correct irrational thought patterns.

NVC.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
alone alcohol internet oh god what am i doing with my life i'm an adult i swear
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
your mom.

...

...

into my loins.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're not going to call me a goddess. Don't.... please don't do that.

I take much better to being invited to larger social group events, where we meet each other incidentally. Like, "there's a raging birdwatching meetup going on next week and if you're interested you could come check it out."

If the words sadistic/dominant applies to you. It takes a lot to get my brain to shut the fuck up. Pain and helplessness does that pretty well. I'm not interested in going without a fight. I believe the appropriate term here is "brat."

I'm not looking for straight up play partners though (and I'm not involved in the kink scene), I have to be attracted to you as a human being first and my romantic standards are high cause I love to be alone.