Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
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I wrote the majority of this with the intent of being humorous.
Please don't take it too seriously.
This essay had the Batman effect. It might have been a little too
It's too late to turn back. Having read the opening words of this
self summary you have already begun to enter into the unsettling
experience of becoming a subject whom you have not met , but
nonetheless recognize. The reader of this summary must create a
voice with which to speak (think) the words (thoughts) comprising
it. You, the reader, must allow me to occupy you, your thoughts,
your mind, since I have no voice to speak other than yours. If you
are to read this summary you must allow yourself to think my
thoughts while I must allow myself to become your thoughts and in
that moment neither of us will be able to lay claim to the thought
as our own exclusive creation.
There is no exercise of the intellect which is not, in the final
analysis, useless. A philosophical doctrine begins as a plausible
description of the universe; with the passage of the years it
becomes a mere chapter—if not a paragraph or a name—in the history
of philosophy.Historical truth, for us, is not what has happened;
it is what we judge to have happened.
To quote Pierre Menard Author of the Quixote:
“Thinking, analyzing, inventing (he also wrote me) are not
anomalous acts; they are the normal respiration of the
intelligence. To glorify the occasional performance of that
function, to hoard ancient and alien thoughts, to recall with
incredulous stupor that the doctor universalis thought, is to
confess our laziness or our barbarity. Every man should be capable
of all ideas and I understand that in the future this will be the
Forgive me but I'm a bit of a showman.
Jacques Barzun once said that the ideal writer would recast his own
death sentence as he was reading it, if it were a bad
I'll try very hard to not make this sound like the introduction to
the Vampire Lestat with a postmodern twist but like Lestat I might
not be able to stop myself. His introduction in that novel one of
my favorite mood pieces. ("Downtown Saturday Night in the Twentieth
Century 1984"-I'm a huge fan. I still have my original
It's unfortunate that people don't do mood pieces more often on
A counseling professor told me once that whoever talks first loses.
I hesitate to say that's true but it certainly is
Of course he also said we all are like the characters in the Wizard
of Oz. We all had what we needed all along we just had to recognize
Like Dorothy I attempt to maintain a high level of optimism
regarding the goodness of human nature but people do such odd
disturbing things sometimes. At least it seems that way in the
I tend to prefer the thought:
“Insanity in individuals is something rare, but in groups, parties,
nations and epochs it is the rule” Friedrich Nietzsche
Perhaps "Acceptance is the answer to all my problems."
Then again perhaps not. In the end who can tell...
Things aren't always the way that they seem but conversely they
could be exactly the way that they seem if one's sense of
perception were to be freed of the constraints of personality to
perceive one's Essential Nature. What is is except when it's not. I
enjoy thinking about things of that nature so if that sort of
thinking intrigues you read on and draw your own conclusions.
One of my favorite quotes is from the movie V for Vendetta:
Evey Hammond: [reads] Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.
V: [translates] By the power of truth, I, while living, have
conquered the universe.
Evey Hammond: Personal motto?
V: From "Faust".
Evey Hammond: That's about trying to cheat the devil, isn't
V: It is.
Please note : V=the Roman Numeral 5 and each of the five Latin
words begins with a V. E is the 5th letter of the alphabet.
I think that upon further consideration that this conversation
between reader and writer is growing a bit too tangential. Just a
bit. Without further adieu I will describe myself; take from it
what you will.
Picture me like this if you will: I'm the type of person people
walk up to in the supermarket and tell intimate personal details of
their life to without prompting. It's nothing I do things just work
out that way. I've gotten used to it.
I'm the enigmatic but helpful stranger who helps someone he doesn't
know because it is the right thing to do and leaves asking nothing
I'm the troubleshooter either solo or in a group. I prefer to work
alone but play well with others. I scored as Faith on the Buffy the
Vampire Slayer Test!
I was told that I would make a good 911 operator as I stay calm
under pressure and am good at negotiations.
I'm eclectic and I tend to study anything that interests me in
When I write I tend to mimic the styles of other people that I
fancy. Mirroring and mimicking help build rapport. Mirroring and
mimicry are vices of mine. Like many of my favorite fictional
characters I always enjoy interacting in a way that my audience can
When I talk or text I focus on obtaining rapport with you. It's
always easier for me to talk/ message with someone and interact
than it is to write one of these self-summaries although this one
is proving most entertaining especially as I spend more time on it.
I have more details to work with thru the direct interface of our
interactions versus my somewhat peculiar ramblings.
Each of us will bring our own interpretation to the conversation
based on our individual perceptions and experiences.
I always enjoyed the concept that people wear different masks at
different times with different people. My question is when all the
masks have come off, when the reader and writer have finished their
interaction what is left? Is there anyone underneath the masks or
are we the sum of our interactions with others? Is there a true
Another quote from V for Vendetta this time on the subject of
Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what
I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of
observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a
masked man who he is.
Evey Hammond: Oh. Right.
Then again perhaps, just perhaps the interaction of the reader and
writer has created another voice although I'm not sure what it
sounds like. Are we ever alone inside our heads or do we become
some odd collage made out of other people's thoughts and
Then again perhaps the masks are just masks.
As George Orwell the author of 1984 said:
“Perhaps a lunatic was simply a minority of one.”
I hope you the reader found this our little interaction enjoyable.
I certainly enjoyed writing it so you as the reader to could
translate it into a picture based on your own experiences.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Like Jules in Pulp fiction I'm in a transitional phase of my life
I'm currently thinking about going to grad school for social work
or mental health counseling. Perhaps I'll do technical writing
instead. Technical writers get paid better.
I'm thinking about re-careering in marketing, sales, or career
coaching while I do this.
Like Lestat I'm quite good at re-inventing myself for my audience.
I like to break all the rules but not the law.
On the Enneagram which is a personality classification system my
personality type which is a 6 diverts to 3 under stress. Type 3 is
very adept at being able to assume whatever appearance is required
for a every role or task but Type 3 often finds that they have
difficulty identifying who is underneath all the masks.
Like Evey in the original V for Vendetta graphic novel perhaps I
need to discover who V is under the mask. Perhaps like Dorothy and
her friends I already have everything that I need; I only need to
I'm working on being Present and not disappearing in a plethora of
masks but it is difficult at times.
Perhaps like Evey I will come to the conclusion that I am the
person under V's mask.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Not relying on one discipline or one strategy set. This quickly
becomes ingrained and one's thinking stagnates. Rely on the
situation that presents itself.
I'm really good at talking people down who are upset or in a
crisis. I was once told I should work as a 911 operator. The real
skill is knowing when to listen and when to talk. I know that
sounds trite but it's the simpliest way I can describe it at the
present time. When I think of a more precise description I'll post
Years of Jesuit Training in social justice made me big believer in
the saying:"Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to
one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it
I have a knack for helping them process what is going on with them.
I'm good in that type of crisis as I can remain calm under
I once told someone "The person who is in crisis needs to be the
most important person in the world to me at that moment we
interact." I'm very,very adept at being who they need me to be at
the time to help guide them thru the crisis. I can be quite clever
that way-I have an arsenal of masks and can switch them very, very
quickly as the situation demands it.
I'm adept at self hypnosis. When I want to achieve a result that is
outside what I'm familiar with I imagine that I can speak to and
see Milton Erickson, the famous medical hypnotist. He's been dead a
very long time but he was the master of metaphors. He always
appears with two canes and wears a groovy white hat. Dr. Erickson
always seems to know what metaphor to use to help out with my
One day I was very, very tired and sad. I didn't know what to do
with all the masks that I wear so I decided to enter into a trance
and talk with Dr. Erickson. We appeared outside a lone storage unit
in the middle of the desert. It was very windy and dust was going
everywhere. I opened up the storage unit. It was shadowy and full
of all kinds of masks. Dr. Erickson and I spoke briefly. He said "
The masks are just masks. you can lock them up in here and take
them out whenever you need to use them." I had the sense that
everything would be fine and locked the door. When I woke up
everything was as it was before but subtly different.
Perhaps Dr. Erickson's that deep part of my subconscious that
intuitively knows what to do.
Perhaps he really is Milton Erickson.
Perhaps, just perhaps he's a special mask that I put on for these
occasions when I don't know how to do what I need to do.
It's impossible to say with any certainty what the correct answer
However, I always was skilled at playing pretend when I was a young
child. Since I didn't have any children my own age to play with
most of the time I would create elaborate fantasy worlds to inhabit
with lots of imaginary characters. Sometimes I told children and
adults carefully crafted stories about them.
My thought is that Dr. Erickson and I go way back.
With an arsenal of masks sales and marketing come very naturally to
me although I am very careful not to do anything unethical in that
regard. I won't be selling iceboxes to Eskimos any time soon.
Perhaps I will sell the Eskimos storage units in the desert
On the Golden Compass Test I was the multifaceted soul. It said "
Does anyone know the real you!"
A few people do and do care.
I'm also a Licensed Massage Therapist and am very good at
Cranio-Sacral Work and Reiki.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My mask I when I walk into a room where I don't know anyone can
come across as reserved and very serious like one of those Samurai
warriors in an Japanese movie. I have an extremely intense
personality and it shows.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Batman was always my favorite character when I was a young child. I
could relate to his existential loneliness and his need to make the
world make sense. What kind of sense is there in a world where your
parents get shot down in front of you but you are spared by their
Even better WHY re-enact the event over and over again every
My friend the psychiatrist said in Batman's world he is the only
sane one. Everyone else is crazy. And yes he really was my dear
friend. Now that he has passed on I miss him very much. If you can
imagine David Lee Roth as a chain smoking psychiatrist from his
1980's " Just A Gigolo" video you'd have a pretty good picture of
My burning question was always who was the real person Bruce Wayne
or Batman? Which one was real and which one was the mask?
I thought the story Batman :Ego captured the Essence that question
but I'm sure some would disagree:
Please allow me to make a mini-synopsis since it relates to all the
Bruce Wayne has a conversation with a shadowy, monstrous Batman
figure who appears to him in the BatCave after a criminal Bruce is
chasing kills himself. Batman isn't merely a mask that he wears or
a uniform he can put in the closet.
Batman takes Bruce back thru his childhood showing him that Batman
was there all along even before his parents were killed.
Batman was waiting for him.
When Bruce Wayne vowed to avenge his parent's deaths he conjured up
My favorite quote from Batman: Ego is :
" You like to call me Batman...but my name is Fear."
I also liked the Darknight Returns by Frank Miller and Batman
Forever for the same reasons.
In The Dark Knight Returns the Bat is described:
"Surely the fiercest survivor...the purest warrior. Surviving
Hating...claiming me as your own."
In Batman Forever the conversation between Dr. Meirdian and Batman
I also found quite fascinating:
Dr. Chase Meridian: [laughs] What is it about the wrong kind of
man? In grade school it was boys with earrings, high school;
motorcycles; college, leather jackets. Now...
[feels his suit]
Dr. Chase Meridian: *Ah*. Black rubber.
Batman: Try firemen, less to take off.
[hastens away but she follows him]
Dr. Chase Meridian: I don't mind the work. Pity I can't see behind
Batman: We all wear masks.
Dr. Chase Meridian: My life's an open book. You read?
Batman: I don't blend in at a family picnic.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the
wine, you bring your scarred psyche.
Batman: Direct, aren't you?
Dr. Chase Meridian: You like strong women. I've done my homework.
Or do I need skin-tight vinyl and a whip?
Batman: I haven't had that much luck with women.
Dr. Chase Meridian: Maybe you just haven't met the right
But Batman's particular story can only be my story of how I
perceived his story.
Other comics I liked:
The New Frontier, anything by Grant Morrison or Warren Ellis. The
Authority, Ultimate Avengers. The Sentry
The Ninja was one of my favorite novels.
A new book I really liked was Just Listen by Mark Goulston. Look it
up on Amazon if you are curious. I also enjoyed It's Not All About
"Me" a book about communications and body language by a former FBI
I also enjoyed the Destructive Emotions by the Dali Lama, the
Kundalini Equation, Jorge Luis Borges (anything by him is great),
Camus, Bob Henlien, and Roger Zelazny.
I like to read about psychology and criminology. I like Dr. Irving
Yalom, Dr. Karen Horney, The Enneagarnm Institute, Cloe Madanes,
Family Therapy, and Erickson hypnosis. In terms of Criminology I
enjoy anything involving the criminal mind. My current favorite was
The Gift of Fear.
Favorite Vampire Novels-The Vampire Lestat of course! Anno Dracula,
Interview with a Vampire.
Television- Dr. Who, Criminal Minds, Lie to Me, Anime, Smallville,
Movies-The Matrix, Stigmata, The Shadow,The X-Men, Thor and of
course V for Vendetta.
By the way aspects of V were borrowed from the Shadow. The Shadow
was a master of disguise in the old pulp novels. When he finally
unmasked he wasn't Lamont Cranston like in the old radio shows.
Even with the unmasking there was sense that perhaps that wasn't
who he really was. Maybe after all those years in thousands of
disguises The Shadow forgot. That always seemed out of character to
me. Perhaps the Shadow like Batman was the real persona and all the
disguises were just masks.
My favorite part about the old radio show was that it portrayed a
man who was invisible in a medium where one couldn't see him
Music-varies depending on my mood-can range from classical to punk
Food-I really like Chinese , Cuban, and Italian. I like to
experiment with new foods.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Withdrawing into my own mind for peace and quiet.
Problems with Authority
Talking to Dr. Erickson
Working on this profile
Quoting V for Vendetta
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I was recently contemplating the Hermetic nature of the Our Father.
Please message me if you would like to discuss this.
I used to like to write fiction as a young adult and I'm indulging
in that activity right now although I have no plans to write
anything to publish at the present time. It's more likely that I
will write an article for Massage Today or a social work
I'm curious by nature and enjoy esoteric subjects. My dream
vacation currently would be to go to Tom Brown's Tracking
Currently I am studying the Enneagram. By the way my Ennea -Type is
incorrect on this site's test. I am a Counter phobic 6 with a very
strong 5 wing on a more complete test. One test calls it the
Defender personality. I have a strong 5 wing so I tend to be very
investigative and analytical by nature. If you are curious to learn
more about the Enneagram please check out the Enneagram Institute's
I recently took part of the microexpression reading course by Paul
Ekman the technical advisor to Lie to Me online.
Relax: The course is designed to improve emotional recogniton and
communication. The course only became moderately famous due to the
show; it's been around for years. Originally Ekman thought it would
help psychologists see if people were lying about being
I've done a variety of martial arts: Karate, Kung Fu, Chinese
Internal Martial Arts, and Systema.
I still remember the name of the first Ju Jitsu book I ever
Cliff Freeland's Guide to Ju Jitsu. I was 6 years old at the time
and I wanted to be able to do what the Chinese Acrobats from Taiwan
I saw on TV could do.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Contemplating how to find a woman who 's essence is both subtly
attractive and disturbed. Scarred Psyche and Eros to match my own
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The most private thing I'm willing to admit is that I feel that I'm
only myself when I'm alone or I know you very well. Its as if I
always have to be on stage and then only become Authentic in the
It's a result of how I viewed the world when I grew up in my
family. It was difficult for me to be authentic so most of the time
so I withdrew into my mind when I wasn't doing whatever needed to
be done. Most of my hobbies are solo activities. I once told
someone that fencing is a team sport because they have a
Sometimes it's difficult being the enigmatic but helpful stranger.
I can only help for so long then I must return to the Silence to
commune and regenerate my energies. Like the Shadow I have my
Sanctum Sanctorum in my mind where no one goes.
The silence can be deafening.
But again I am Working on being Present.
My favorite part of this website is all the unique fictional
character tests that the members have devised and that I have
taken. The results were to my mind quite fascinating:
I was the Doctor on Dr. Who. I did end up as Captain Nemo on this
site's fictional characters test and Picard on the Star Trek
Captains test. Those character descriptions fit me well.
I scored as Satan on the Biblical Villains test, the Genius Maniac
Super villain, and the Megalomaniac Super villain. I was Faith on
the Buffy Test. I was the Fallen Angel on the Angel Test.
I was positive I would score as Picard, The Doctor, and Satan when
I took the tests. I say that not to be frightening but to more
clearly elucidate what I am like.
I didn't think I would end up as the Emperor I ended up as the
Emperor Palpatine on the famous Jedi Test. I had a very strong
sense that I would join the Sith- I knew the power of the Dark Side
of the Force calls to me too strongly...(It's my strong 5 wing on
the Enneagram. 5's tend to have a fascination with the dark side of
things. Of course without light there would be no shadow...)
On a less serious (?) note: I prefer the Satan from Milton's
Paradise Lost with his famous line " Better to Reign in Hell than
to Serve in Heaven." My way of thinking about that is that it's all
about autonomy and being willing to endure pain to have that state.
Pain is unavoidable; suffering is optional. Message me if you would
like me to explain that in more detail.
I liked the description of the Fallen Angel:
"To have known bliss and lost is far worse than to never have known
it at all.
You are the fallen angel; unlike the angel you did not have the
strength to keep away from corruption, eventually, you got curious,
you touched the filth and it tainted you, and you regretted it ever
since, as someone who knew innocense you cannot do true evil,
however as someone who was tainted, you cannot return to you
brethren as they shun you for what you have done. "
On the Anime Test I was Vash the Stampede:
"Its not that you don't love people, its that everyone you love
dies, or you prefer that they don't. Thus, you tend to be a lone
wolf. The classic Anime hero. You are a bleeding heart. It is
people like you that make the world fall apart. Or hold
Like my impressions, my reading of the text if you will, of the
Doctor and Picard I would like to believe that people mean well but
sometimes don't act in a sensible way. I tend to retreat into my
mind as a place of refuge from the craziness in the world. I don't
like to see innocent people get hurt but it happens all the time.
Part of many of my former jobs was to correct that situation.
I'd like to say that I saw the world as a completely safe place but
because of the work I did in Social Services and Law Enforcement I
can't say that I truly believe that.
Conversely, I was raised at the tail end of the 1960's and I do
remain optimistic that we can make a better world. As JFK said we
are on the edge of a New Frontier. Perhaps we can all make peace
with our Jungian Shadow Selves. Perhaps not.
However Hope Springs Eternal:
On an optimistic day I like to think that we are all like the
characters in the Wizard of Oz. We already have everything we need
we just need to recognize it.
Perhaps there is a light at the end of the rainbow.
My Enneagram type is full of dichotomous traits. Go figure.
Don't be surprised if this section keeps changing. I'm sure it will
be a work in progress as I keep re-editing it. Keep coming back and
re-reading it so you can bring new interpretations to the text.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you are deeply affected emotionally by something painful and it
troubles you on an existential level message me.
I am quite expert at applying balm to those in existential torment
and propping up shorn egos.
Scars remind us where we've been. They dont have to dictate where
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