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StoryChecksOut

33 Jersey City, NJ Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–49
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Drinks
Often
Sign
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Status
Single
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Speaks
English
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've had a pretty lucky life. I spent ten years in Los Angeles, then did two and a half in London, and now I'm officially a resident of the New York Metropolitan Area and New Jersey. Ok. I guess it's more like just New Jersey.

I commute back and forth to London for my job. It's a thing.

I'm from Albany originally, but I've never lived in this part of the country, so I'm looking forward to completely draining it of all its bodily fluids. I like getting into shenanigans. Things like "school night" generally don't apply to me.

I was American Werewolf in London - which was cool - now I'm just another a**hole.

Here are some factual facts about me in easy-to-digest list form:

I like to say yes.

I like to challenge, and I like to be challenged. Challenge me.

I often say the wrong thing, but rarely fail to do the right thing.

I may misbehave, but I'm also very honest.

I'm an Oxford comma type of guy.

I once forgot Chapstick when I went to the movies and it WAS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.

"I'm edgy, and I have the propensity to quote myself." --Me

I want to make you laugh.

Because I've been lucky in life, I believe in giving back: to friends, family, strangers, those in need, the service industry, and the occasional circus clown.

I care enough about my appearance to go to the gym 3-4 days a week, but not enough to spend more than 7 minutes getting ready to go there.

I'm a hooker with the heart of gold.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Failing upward.

Somehow I ended up in a great job that sends me around the world, fulfills me creatively, makes my parents proud, and allows me incredible freedom.

I crack jokes for a living, on television, but it's probably not what you're thinking.

And I do a little stand-up too.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
seeing both sides of things
trying to make everyone happy
making obscure references
putting my foot in my mouth
listing things
functioning on 0-4 hours of sleep
saying yes
overtipping
being honest
standing up for myself
not wearing Ed Hardy or Affliction
making people laugh
watching movies
finding the upside
Words with Friends
eating
poking a dead thing and then running away screaming
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably my face beard.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
It's actually easier to list just a few (random) favorites in each category. I like movies and TV like whoah so just because I didn't list something doesn't mean I haven't seen it or I don't love it. I just have to keep these numbers down.

Still Life with Woodpecker
Killing Floor
World War Z
Ender's Game
The Picture of Dorian Gray
How to Archer
It's Not How Good You Are, It's How Good You Want to Be

Music:

I don't really get in your face about music.

I like to see big iconic acts in arenas no matter what the genre (Garth Brooks, Elton John, and Jay-Z all would apply), but I also like to get dragged to smaller shows by savvy friends. If I were going to purchase my own concert tickets or entire albums, however, it'd be for the following bands.

Muse
Chris Cornell/Soundgarden/Audioslave
Alice in Chains
Gaslight Anthem
AC/DC
Tenacious D
Wolfmother
The Eagles
Daft Punk
The Black Keys
Girl Talk
Journey

Food:

I have a weakness for unhealthy food, but I don't eat it as often as I would like because obesity. Some of my favorites are:

barbecue
buffalo wings
burgers
melted cheese
sushi (the perfect meal for a night out drinking afterwards)
pasta

TV/Film:

This is where I tend to have more of an opinion. I own a stupid amount of movies and TV shows. I like smart things like David Mamet, and I like dumb things like Fast Five.

So, I guess I'll just list a dozen or so of each of my favorites:

The Sting
Swingers
Out of Sight
Zero Effect
Get Shorty
Brick
The Spanish Prisoner
Temple of Doom
V for Vendetta
Shoot 'em Up
Wet Hot American Summer
Super Troopers
Die Hard
Back to the Future

Arrested Development
Seinfeld
Children's Hospital
Delocated
Justified
The Shield
Archer
Portlandia
Game of Thrones
Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
Walking Dead & Dexter (even though they're both only good for like 5 minutes every episode)
Breaking Bad
Deadwood
Parks and Rec
Rick & Morty

Sometimes I like to play a game called "Movie Theater Roulette" where I have to go see whatever movie is playing next. I recommend it. You see things you'd never really have given a chance to before, and you also get to make your own opinions without being influenced by reviews.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
selfie stick
crocs
my AR-17 assault rifle
Oakley shades
my tribal tatts
my hookah

Relax. I literally have NONE of those things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whether or not true love exists. Whether or not "forever" is just a fantasy.

Injustice & Corruption.

Narrow-mindedness.

The best way to word a joke/tweet.

Who f***ing raised some of these people?

Good vs. Evil

How to find the humor in everything.

How to be an everyday hero.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I rarely know what day it is. Probably out looking for trouble. I like trouble.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like being single, but I secretly hope to meet someone who makes me not want to be.

I also secretly hope to win the lottery so I can tip people with $100 bills and open a McDonald's that serves breakfast all day.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've got a good sense of humor.

You hate cancer and/or love puppies.

You've got a good sense of adventure.

You'd prefer to figure out what you think of me over a drink rather than a million one-line emails.

You think about what you have to offer the world rather than what the world has to offer you.

You're out of my league.