Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
- I'm a smart ass who has often been mistaken for a dumb ass.
- I'm not the answer to your prayers, or the man of your
- I'm probably not your worst nightmare either.
"Don't ask me 'bout the shape I'm in.
I can't sing. I ain't pretty. And my legs are thin.
And don't ask me what I think of you.
I might not give the answer that you want me to."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
- Conspiring to overthrow your fears.
- Laying out blue prints for a bridge between myself and your
- Drawing a map that will take me on the scenic route from your
lips to your toes.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- Avoiding serious questions.
- Finger painting with melted chocolate on exposed body
- Dutch ovens.
- Hiding bodies.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favorite color is October.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whether or not you caught that sarcastic remark about math lessons.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Looking at your profile pic, imagining the filthy things we could
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Is that I want to do these filthy things with you.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You're horny. If you are, set the vibrator on the floor, step
away from it slowly, and message me at once. (Unless you're looking
at my picture while you're doing it. In that case, message me when
- You still haven't figured out that I'm the guy your mother warned
you about. I love naive girls as much as they love me.
- You snorted as you laughed out loud while reading this, and now
have your favorite beverage running out of your nose. It's not
exactly sexy, but at least it shows where your heart is.
- You've ever wondered what it was like to have someone eat their
dessert off of your body.
- You've ever wondered what it'd be like to be someone's
NOTE: You should NOT- under any circumstances - message
me if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.