Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You're horny. If you are, set the vibrator on the floor, step
away from it slowly, and message me at once. (Unless you're looking
at my picture while you're doing it. In that case, message me when
- You still haven't figured out that I'm the guy your mother warned
you about. I love naive girls as much as they love me.
- You snorted as you laughed out loud while reading this, and now
have your favorite beverage running out of your nose. It's not
exactly sexy, but at least it shows where your heart is.
- You've ever wondered what it was like to have someone eat their
dessert off of your body.
- You've ever wondered what it'd be like to be someone's
NOTE: You should NOT- under any circumstances - message
me if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours.