After more than 15 years away from South Florida, I have returned and I am trying to get my bearings.
I am a goofy, bright, man.
Here is the rest:
So I sat here at my computer preparing to write the most brilliant personals posting ever written by man. I was going to describe myself as some wonderfully idealized uberman.
"How should I go about it?" I asked myself.
Perhaps I would post a picture of me holding a crepe that I had just cooked in one hand while cradling an Ethiopian child I had just rescued from the clutches of starvation in the other.
Perhaps I would tell you about my recent excursion into the Amazon in which I discovered the cures for cancer, world hunger, and boredom all while teaching an indigenous tribe stone-masonry.
Perhaps I would describe how one time, while distributing toys during a Christmas drive in the ghetto I got the leaders of The Crips, The Bloods, The Latin Kings, and The Boy Scouts to sit down and talk out their differences and then led them in a very beautiful rendition of Kumbaya.
Perhaps I would write a poem in which, with every syllable, I captured the heartbreaking beauty of pure love. I could almost hear keyboards across the city buckling under the intensity with which women would be responding.
But then I thought, "Fuck it! That’s not me."
I decided to do what no one else on this site has ever done. Be honest. After all, if I did end up meeting someone from this site, how would she react when I arrived on my bike instead of a white steed with flowing mane? How would I explain myself when she realized that I was less the embodiment of Yeats' romantic vision and more encapsulated the enigmatic, disconnected writings of e.e. cummings.
So here I am in all my tarnished glory. Take me or leave me, at least I am being true to self.
First, looks, because we are all, in spite of our noble airs, a slightly superficial lot.
I am 5'8. I never thought this was short. Tall? No. But I never considered myself a pygmy. At least I didn't. But after reading the postings on here from women I have begun to wonder. It seems the women of this city want a caring, funny, thoughtful individual who will sweep them off their feet; but only if he is able to change the light-bulbs of the Sistine Chapel without the aide of a ladder.
I am a mutt. Mainly Colombian, but with Russian, Italian, and Spanish thrown in to spice things up. Consider me a human buffet.
Want a little Latin fire? Help yourself.
A bit of European intrigue? One helping or two?
Some Russian dressing on that? would you like it on top or on the side? If, however, you seek a WASP, I suggest you look elsewhere.
I have dark hair, which is usually shaved off, although I do it myself and, due to my tiny attention span, usually grows quite a bit before I remember to cut it again. I have hazel eyes that lean more towards brown than green which -- and this will be the only time I toot my own horn -- I have been told are wicked hot (ok, I have never been told they are "wicked" hot. But I assure you, if I hung out with more Bostonians it would be a daily comment). I am in ok shape, and am working on getting into even better shape. I have been going to the gym at least 4 days per week for the last month and have no plans of stopping.
Can you rest a beer can on my stomach ala Homer Simpson? No. Can you wash your soiled linens on my abs? Also no. Guess you will have to see for yourself.
Now, onto me as a person.
I am a complete goofball. I have been known to run through Central Park fleeing a swarm of imaginary killer bees while screaming, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SAVE YOURSELVES! THE BEES, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!"
I am a very passionate person. When something strikes my fancy I can't help but dive into it. Most of the time this is a good thing and I embrace it whole-heartedly. Unfortunately it also tends to give me tunnel vision and I don't see anything else (both literally and figuratively). This sometimes leads to me making rash decisions that wind up biting me in the ass.
Ok, so I just looked at this and realized that I had written the startings of a novel when all I meant to write was a pamphlet, so I will leave it at that.
A favorite quote of mine is by none other than Dr. Seuss: "Do what you want and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Yet another great quote is by Epicurus:
"Is God all-powerful but unable to stop evil?
Then God is not omnipotent.
Is God all-powerful but not willing to stop evil?
Then God is malevolent.
Is God all-powerful and all-good?
Then whence enter evil?
Is God weak and unable to stop evil?
Then why call him God?"