I had a laughably wholesome upbringing in a town that (at the time) amounted to little more than a paved spot in a North Texas cow pasture. I grew up damn near convinced that not only was the world flat, but it dropped off at the edge of town. My support for this theory was that whenever someone would leave, we’d never see them again. I left about 14 years ago myself, and haven’t yet bothered going back to disabuse kids who think as I did.

Many profiles I read on this site are adamant about wanting someone who is already well travelled. If this is you, keep clicking. I was 24 the first time I left the country. And I can still give you an exhaustive list of countries I’ve visited on one finger. However, this is not for lack of interest, and you will never convince me this makes me somehow incomplete as a person. Domestically, I’ve had experiences, but few which would quickly and succinctly grab attention in an online self-summary.

What I’m saying is that if this is a job application, (and let’s face it, it is) I have absolutely no special qualifications beyond the confidence and audacity to try.

My genius, if I can call it that, is to embrace and celebrate my extraordinary averageness, and to consolidate it into one centralized frame. I think I’m OK looking (and have provided convenient photo evidence). I keep myself clean cut, and my beard neatly trimmed. I wear jeans, T-shirt, and a leather jacket basically all the time (except summer, when I leave the jacket at home) Ten fingers, ten toes, etc. I have all the expected interests, cooking, dancing, reading, video games, riding my bike, what have you. And I’m usually down for just about anything my friends have in mind on a given evening. I’m reasonably intelligent, politically independent, scrupulously polite, and generally remember to take my hat off indoors.

In short, I’m awesome.

I'm on a never-ending quest to minimize the differences between the man I am, and the man I want to be.

Professionally: I'm a lawyer. One might think that makes the "Jeans and a T-Shirt basically all the time" thing difficult. Well, I'm not that kind of lawyer.

Personally: I'm into everything and everything. I've used the phrase "attention span of a ferret on amphetamines" before. And I will again because I like it. Pretty much any idea someone has will sound like the best evening ever to me. Left to my own devices, I will probably find a bar with live music, or a street fair, or get on my bike and see where the trails go.

- Increasing the absurdity of any given situation.
- performing a miraculous 5-pie comeback at trivial pursuit. (Does that game even still use pies? The versions I play are pretty old.)
- I've also been known to pull off the miraculous 30-peg comeback at cribbage. (Bonus points if you know how to play).
- building a campfire. I know far too many professed campers who don't know how to do this.
-deadpan sarcasm (The best kind. It's sneaky.)
-I have a pretty good grip on the difference between "your" and "you're." Which, if this site is to be believed, would seem to be the single most valuable skill I could possess in order to meet women. As an added bonus, I can also manage "there," "their," and "they're." (I feel like "its" and "it's" would just be extra credit at this point.)
- lifting heavy objects, opening jars, killing spiders and other practical stuff.

The boots get a lot of comments... and the belt buckle, especially when I'm wearing them with a suit.

As for physical features, I used to think I was tall at 6'0", but I often feel of decidedly average height when walking around NYC. Though this could be because it's the only height I know to be, and is therefore average to me.

I was also tempted to say my eyes. But if you meet me in daylight, I'm probably wearing sunglasses. So I doubt that too

My favorite thing a friend has said to me lately: "You're large and intimidating. You were tailor made to be a buzzkill!"

Top fives, currently, and in no particular order.

Books:
1.) High Fidelity by Nick Hornby (As if this pick wasn't obvious by now)
2.) Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein
3.) The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
4.) Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
5.) The Obnoxious Jerks by Stephen Manes

...That last pick is no joke. I first read it in 6th grade and I've made sure I've had a copy of it on my bookshelf ever since. It's out of print now so when I inevitably wear out my current copy I may be in trouble.

Movies:
1.) O Brother Where Art Thou
2.) When Harry Met Sally
3.) Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
4.) Inception
5.) Die Hard

... I won't even try to romanticize that last pick. I'm a guy.

TV Shows:
1.) Top Gear (British version)
2.) Good Eats
3.) How I Met Your Mother
4.) Sons of Anarchy
5.) Mad Men

Songs to play on the jukebox during a night out:
1.) The Road Goes on Forever by Robert Earl Keen (live)
2.) Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival
3.) You Never Even Call Me By My Name by David Allen Coe
4.) Home by Goo Goo Dolls (depending on the evening)
5.) The Times They Are a'Changin by Bob Dylan (preferably at that hour of the night where everyone is only capable of the Bob Dylan slur anyway.)

I feel like there aren't any interesting picks on that list. This may speak to how generic my music tastes actually are... moving on.

Favorite Dishes:
1.) Roast Leg of Lamb with Couscous (and Mint Jelly),
2.) Chicken Teriyaki with Broccoli and White Rice, (growing up, my mother would use Jeff Smith's recipe. I do the same)
3.) the Turkey and Spinach Enchiladas my mother used to make the day after Thanksgiving (and for which I have dutifully stolen the recipe),
4.) Slow Cooked Pork with Mac and Cheese and Sauteed Spinach (from Peter's Restaurant)
5.) Red Beans and Rice (from a recipe frantically copied while watching Good Eats).

I like to think I'm resourceful enough that I could "do without" almost anything if I had to. But my last answer was pretty cheesy, so I'll play along for now.

Comfortable Shoes: If I have nothing important to be doing that evening, I'll often just walk home to Brooklyn from work in Midtown rather than put up with the Subway. This tends to make me think carefully about my shoe purchases.

A well-stocked kitchen: I love to cook. I'll just say that kitchen stores are very dangerous places for me to hang out. (I'm as bad there as most guys are at Best Buy).

My Laptop: I confess, I'm hopelessly addicted to the internet. I used to bring a lot of work home, but I've since changed jobs. Now the laptop is pretty much just an internet machine.

Books: I always have a book in progress. Long subway rides in the morning and evening would be torture without at least one. The selection available on Kindle has been failing me lately and I've even had to go back to low-tech paper books. (gasp!)

Netflix: Seriously, what did we do before we could rent movies without leaving home. I don't even have to put on pants if I don't want to.

Pants: Come to think of it, I've never left my house without wearing them, and am currently trying to extend that streak as long as possible. I'd be pretty disappointed if I were to mess it up now.

Cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts.

Why, after the "10 hot dogs/8 buns" dichotomy had become so engrained in our cultural consiousness that no one has laughed at the joke in at least 20 years, did the makers of certain premium brands decide it would be a good idea to market their franks in packages of 7? Seriously? SEVEN?!!! I can only interpret this as intentional nose-thumbing by wiener marketers.

The former math-nerd in me is constantly trying to reverse engineer the formula used by the banker on Deal or No Deal.

I believe it was the great philosopher Calvin, who dared ask the immortal question that has plagued mankind for ages: "What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket-ship underpants if no one ever asks to see them?"

Anything can happen on a Texas Friday night if you don't mind your manners, or you don't mind a fight. I rope the Devil ride him into town, with $50 and a flask of Crown.

I once made an effort (Probably on a Friday to be honest) to answer every question in this profile in lyrics to semi-obscure country songs. The above paragraph is the last remaining vestige of that incredibly dumb idea, and is still the best answer I've come up with for this section.

These days, on a typical Friday night, I'm working. My work week is 3:00pm to 11:00pm Thursday through Monday. This is well in the running for most antisocial schedule I've ever heard of.

I used to get very self-conscious about reading a book on the subway. I could just feel other riders judging me by what I was reading. This was a non-trivial consideration when I bought my kindle.

It took me an unreasonably long time to realize I don't care. And doesn't it make more sense to display my tastes to the world on the off chance someone will comment, and I'll meet someone with (at least one) similar interest? This was a non-trivial consideration in my decision to purchase a physical copy of Pride and Prejudice even though the Kindle version was free.

Your initials match this particularly ill-advised-in-hindsight tattoo.