Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"My mother used to say to me 'Elwood, in this world you can be O so
smart, or O so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart... I
I had a laughably wholesome upbringing in a town that (at the time)
amounted to little more than a paved spot in a North Texas cow
pasture. I grew up damn near convinced that not only was the world
flat, but that anyone who crossed the county line fell off the edge
(seriously, we never saw those people again!) I left after high
school myself, and haven’t yet bothered going back to disabuse kids
who think as I did.
I've rambled across the country a fair bit. Driver's License has
seen a lot of use. Even have a stamp or two in my Passport.
Eventually the wind blew me to New York City, and it doesn't look
like I'll ramble on any time soon.
I love the outdoors. If I have a little free time I'll jump on my
bike and see how far I can get before my legs want to fall off. If
I have a lot of free time, I'll throw a sleeping bag and some food
into a backpack (never a tent, tents are for weenies) and go for a
three day hike. I enjoy these activities, but have little to no
interest in doing them in any organized manner (no road races for
me anytime soon.) (EDITORS NOTE: This has changed. I recently
signed up for my first road race... dammit.)
I make a point not to pretend to be anything I'm not, and see no
reason to oversell in this space. That said, I think I’m OK looking
(and have provided convenient photo evidence). I keep myself clean
cut, and my beard neatly trimmed. I wear jeans, T-shirt, and a
leather jacket basically all the time (except summer, when I leave
the jacket at home) Ten fingers, ten toes, etc. I’m reasonably
intelligent, politically independent, loyal to a fault,
scrupulously polite, and generally remember to take my hat off
In short, I'm awesome. And you should totally message me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm on a never-ending quest to minimize the differences between the
man I am, and the man I want to be. A co-worker recently told me he
views me as "a guy who has his shit together." So I guess I have
some people fooled.
Professionally: I'm a lawyer. One might think that makes the "Jeans
and a T-Shirt basically all the time" thing difficult. Well, I'm
not that kind of lawyer.
Personally: I'm into everything and everything. I've used the
phrase "attention span of a ferret on amphetamines" before. And I
will again because I like it. Pretty much any idea someone has will
sound like the best evening ever to me. Left to my own devices, I
will probably find a bar with live music, or a street fair, or get
on my bike and see where the trails go.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-I have a pretty good grip on the difference between "your" and
"you're." Which, if this site is to be believed, would seem to be
the single most valuable skill I could possess in order to meet
women. As an added bonus, I can also manage "there," "their," and
"they're." (I feel like "its" and "it's" would just be extra credit
at this point.)
- Navigating NYC on my bike.
- performing a miraculous 5-pie comeback at trivial pursuit. (Does
that game even still use pies? The versions I play are pretty
- I've also been known to pull off the miraculous 30-peg comeback
at cribbage. (Bonus points if you know how to play).
- building a campfire. I know far too many professed campers who
don't know how to do this.
-deadpan sarcasm (The best kind. It's sneaky.)
- lifting heavy objects, opening jars, killing spiders and other
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
These days, the shaved head.
I'm told I look "Intense" a lot... I'm OK with this.
I'm also told I remind people of Ron Swanson. To the point that I
had to actually start watching the damn show after about the 5th
person told me that. I've since learned he is a great man, and hope
to carry the mantle with the honor it deserves.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Top fives, currently, and in no particular order.
1.) Song of Ice and Fire
by George R.R. Martin
by Nick Hornby
(much more cathartic
than the movie if you find yourself needing that kind of
3.) The Count of Monte
by Alexandre Dumas
by Larry McMurtry
by Stephen Manes
...That last pick is no joke. I first read it in 6th grade and I've
made sure I've had a copy of it on my bookshelf ever since. It's
out of print now so when I inevitably wear out my current copy I
may be in trouble.
1.) Guardians of the
Harry Met Sally
... I won't even try to romanticize that last pick. I'm a
1.) Parks and
2.) Cutthroat Kitchen
3.) Game of
4.) Sons of
current Netflix binge.
Concerts I've been to most recently:
1.) Zac Brown
2.) Someboady's Darling
Whoever was playing at the bar I was at the other night
5.) Hank Green
and the Perfect Strangers, which apparently consists of all the
same people as Harry and the Potters.
I feel like there aren't any interesting picks on that list. This
may speak to how generic my music tastes actually are... moving
1.) Roast Leg of Lamb with Couscous (and Mint Jelly),
2.) Chicken Teriyaki with Broccoli and White Rice, (growing up, my
mother would use Jeff Smith's recipe. I do the same)
3.) the Turkey and Spinach Enchiladas per an old family recipe
(which I have dutifully stolen)
4.) Slow Cooked Pork with Mac and Cheese and Sauteed Spinach.
5.) Red Beans and Rice (from a recipe frantically copied while
watching Good Eats).
Man this exercise has just shown me how restricting a top five list
actually is. I had so many good candidates for each category. I'm
sure if you were to ask me in person, I'd give different lists
depending on my mood at the time.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Yeah, yeah. I like to think I'm resourceful enough that I could do
without almost anything. But that answer defeats the spirit of the
question so here we go:
My Bike: My not-so-secret goal in life is get never ride the subway
A well-stocked kitchen: I love to cook. I'll just say that kitchen
stores are very dangerous places for me to hang out. (I'm as bad
there as most guys are at Best Buy).
My Laptop: I confess, I'm hopelessly addicted to the internet. I
used to bring a lot of work home, but I've since changed jobs. Now
the laptop is pretty much just an internet machine.
Books: I always have a book in progress. Long subway rides in the
morning and evening would be torture without at least one. The
selection available on Kindle has been failing me lately and I've
even had to go back to low-tech paper books. (gasp!)
Netflix: Seriously, what did we do before we could rent movies
without leaving home. I don't even have to put on pants if I don't
Pants: Come to think of it, I've never left my house without
wearing them, and am currently trying to extend that streak as long
as possible. I'd be pretty disappointed if I were to mess it up
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What to write in the few messages I send on this site. (Though I'm
increasingly convinced I shouldn't do that. I should just go with
whatever I'm thinking and hope for the best.)
Why, after the "10 hot dogs/8 buns" dichotomy had become so
engrained in our cultural consiousness that no one has laughed at
the joke in at least 20 years, did the makers of certain premium
brands decide it would be a good idea to market their franks in
packages of 7? Seriously? SEVEN?!!! I can only interpret this as
intentional nose-thumbing by wiener marketers.
I believe it was the great philosopher Calvin, who dared ask the
immortal question that has plagued mankind for ages: "What's the
point of wearing your favorite rocket-ship underpants if no one
ever asks to see them?"
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either punching lions in the face to feel a thrill, or making up
outlandish claims about myself.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...You won't hate me for living in Queens (For reference, Ridgewood
shares a border with Bushwick. I have the same love/hate
relationship with the L train you Brooklynites do.)
...You want to check out the bike trails with me
...You can explain to me what it was Elizabeth saw in Mr. Darcy...
Maybe I'm reading it wrong?
...You think any of these sounds like good date ideas: Dance Class,
Wine Class, Art Auction, Drinks and groping.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.