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TL_DR

35 F Bucharest, Romania

My Details

Last Online
Aug 21
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White, Other
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Sagittarius
Education
Dropped out of masters program
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Romanian (Fluently), French (Okay), Spanish (Okay), German (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi, I'm Catinca.

I've been out of habit with okcupid, writing profiles and such. I just returned after about 2 years of absence from this site. I'm going to think about what I want to say here.

Here are things that I didn't delete from my last self-summary.

I am not scared of the unknown. Nothing is more scary than not having novelty in one's life. Even if it kills me, it's still more interesting than living the safer same-old days again and again.

My biggest fear is to become chronically ill, suffering increasingly more each day without dying. Even so, I'd choose to be Stephen Hawking rather than Paris Hilton any day. When I think of these two people, it makes me sad that Hawking is considered the disabled one.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"To do something with one's life"... hmmm. It seems more like a day to day development. I'm not doing anything with my life, cause it's not exactly something I can mold as I please.

You want some things, you have dreams, and you have some abilities and some weaknesses. These are the circumstances you provide to your life. Then there's all the rest of the stuff around you which affect however your life progresses.

What I'm doing with my life is trying to do the things that depend on me as best I can.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
These change according to what I've been practicing most recently. I'm pretty good at logic, even though it's been quite a few years since I did any problems (first order logic mainly), but you get practice with it in most thinking processes. Or you should anyway.

This section really needs a counter-section, "I'm really bad at". Well, actually I really need it, 'cause then I can say that I am not a good listener.

Being a good listener is the most frequent answer people give in this section, and it makes me feel obligated to say that I am iffy about my listening abilities. I hear extremely well, but I get "inattentively deaf" quite often. My mind wanders off and, although I hear the sound of a voice among the many other sounds that reach my ears, I don't actually hear anything.

When people say that they are good listeners, it sort of implies that they have patience when they're not in fact really interested in what the other person is saying. Think about it. If it's interesting, then why wouldn't you listen carefully? It's not an achievement to listen to something you're interested in, is it?

It only becomes a virtue worth emphasizing ("I am really good at") when someone is capable to listen carefully in spite of their lack of genuine interest in the topic at hand. Only then does listening present difficulties, making it a virtue to overcome them. I can admire that, cause I have a really hard time doing it.

When I don't think I have the availability to listen to something, I say so. I don't like doing favours, nor receiving them. If I do something for someone, I do it because I want to. That's the only way I know how to avoid making people feel indebted - which is one of the most psychologically harmful feelings that one can experience. When you feel that you owe things, your attitude becomes meek, your personality shies away, and you end up doing something for the person who did you the favour, something which may not always be what you'd really want to do.

When you're a good listener, are you doing the other person a favour or does it mean that you are most often interested in what people say, thus making you listen with ease?

I can see how the latter could be something to be proud of. But, again, I must admit that I myself am not always interested in what others are saying. I am not very social. I like meeting with one person at a time and I'm very direct when I speak. I love breaking social norms. I love taking people out of their comfort zones. I guess that's why a lot of people avoid being around me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have asked many many people, but the answers vary very much. The only answer which was decidedly more frequent was: hair. It's short and this seems to be noteworthy.

If you ask me, I always think that after a very short time of knowing me, people notice I'm a goof or that I'm childishly shy. I don't know if that's true, but that's always my impression. Or simply that I'm odd.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books:I will give some titles of books that I enjoyed for very different reasons:

(in random order)
"Modern Logic" by Graeme Forbes (it has ordered my entire thinking)
"1984" by George Orwell (really good book)
"History of Western Philosophy" by Bertrand Russell (really fun)
"Small Gods" (and many others) by Terry Pratchett (really funny)
"From a Logical Point of View" by W.V.O. Quine (eye-opener)
The Geographical Atlas (my dad used to say it was my story-book when I was a kid - I love maps)
"The Journal of Laura Palmer" by Jennifer Lynch (first time I discovered that reading books can be super easy and can leave me just as I was before reading it... yet somehow still pleasant)
The Zoological Atlas (first I discovered I liked collecting info)
"Phaedrus", by Plato (I can't explain why I liked it)
"On Liberty", by J.S. Mill (I just agree with a lot of it)
"The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand (I am not well acquainted with her philosophy, so please give me a break and don't read volumes into the fact that I found this book a really enjoyable read. I am a libertarian, but don't pin on me her form of libertarianism, because, from what I know, it is not the form which I would agree with.)
"The Collector", by John Fowles (well written)
"Animal Farm", by Orwell (the most amazing definition of human nature and organization, in spite of having very few humans as characters)
"John Barleycorn", by Jack London (taught me how to watch out not to become an alcoholic)
"Of Mice and Men", by Steinbeck (I'm melt when I read about true friendship)
"Dead Souls", by Nikolai Gogol (the Russians... funny kind of people)
"The Brothers Karamazov", by Fyodor Dostoevsky (the Russian spirit continued - it's one of my weaknesses)
"A Treatise on Human Nature", by David Hume (Papa Empiricism can't miss from this list)
"On the Origin of Species", by Charles Darwin (do I need to have a reason? ok - I find it very useful in my work)

(the spell check doesn't contain "Graeme", "Phaedrus", "libertarianism", "Fowles", "Barleycorn" but suggested "Barrymore", and "Fyodor")

Music: Oh, I don't know. There is a set of songs to which I listen obsessively, but naming them would be rather personal. I am most moved when listening to certain pieces of opera. Playful punk cheers me up. Yea, yea, I'm not cool - big deal.

Movies:
(in random order)
Apocalypse Now (only saw the director's cut - 40-something minutes more of the most paralyzing horror images which were cut out from the movie as it came out originally),
One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
The Professional (Leon)
Amadeus
Once Upon a Time in America
Prizzi's Honor
Barfly
Wall-e
The Last King of Scotland
101 Dalmatians
Some Like it Hot
Escape from Sobibor
La Cage aux Folles
Taxi Driver
The Big Lebowski
American History X
The Usual Suspects
Snatch
Full Metal Jacket
Silence of the Lambs
In the Name of the Father
The Inner Circle (there are more movies with this title; the one I'm referring to is the story about Stalin's projectionist)
The Wall
Trainspotting
Little Miss Sunshine
La Mome
Dr. Strangelove
Snow Cake
Hemingway and Gellhorn
Half Nelson (this movie felt like it was done by someone who actually lived through many of my experiences. It felt like it was about me.)
....

I've watched Amadeus 100 times I think. I used to watch it obsessively as a child. I have it memorized. Has anyone noticed it's actually a musical?

T.V. shows: Ok, I do have a bunch of sitcoms which I enjoy listening to rather than watching while I do other things. But a couple of shows stand out and they are not sitcoms: Oz and Law and Order - the original version. My favourite sitcom is probably Malcolm in the Middle.

Favourite quote from Malcolm in the Middle. Hal: "Look, Dewey, I've made the microwave oven work without having to shut the door..."

Food: dunno. Most food. I refuse to eat raw oysters, but they don't particularly strike me as food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Actually, - life sustinance aside - there is only one thing I could never do without: a wish. If there were 6 things, I'd lose focus.

I will add one thing: my laptop is my best friend. I write on it, which is damn important to me. I don't think I could give up having a laptop (given that the world were no different than it is, not in a world without computers and www) for any single person on this planet. If I had to choose between never seeing BOB again, or the laptop, my fingers speak for themselves. Sorry, mom, you too.

And then there's the list of things I have to really concentrate not to lose: keys, wallet, cellphone, and whatever form of ID I have on me. Not that they're important, but it's a pain in the ass when you lose them. Also, I spend a considerable time of my day thinking not to lose them. There are many things that are more valuable to me, things that I'd really hate losing, like my sanity, but it's just not on my mind as much as my keys, wallet, phone and whatever form of ID I have on me.

I think I listed six in a loose sense of the word...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I could never put it as well as George Carlin. I think a lot about this stuff:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7W33HRc1A6c

I think about things that I don't agree with most people. For example, the dichotomy between reason and emotions, treating these as if they were mutually exclusive modes of thought. I don't think there's any such thing as "emotional thinking", since emotions are emotions and not thought. "Rational thinking" is pretty much the only thinking there is.... isn't that what thought is? - to reason through whatever is on your mind? Do you emotion through whatever is on your mind? I don't.

I wonder, am I the only one who can reason about something, whilst at all times feeling emotion too. If I don't act upon my every emotion, does it mean that I am reasonable and am NOT emotional? Is it not reasonable to look at a painting and react emotionally?

And I wonder if people can tell the difference between liking something, in the sense that it conforms to certain standards we chose to be the standards for "things we like" and liking something, in the sense that it brings you simple true and strong enjoyment. To me, it seems like only the second type of liking will make me happy, while the first is an assessment, an evaluation of an object that, aside from the case that you are required to be a neutral judge, is really of no use at all. Why? Cause I don't see the point of liking if it's not what you (maybe inexplicably) enjoy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
therefore I think? *knee slap*
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I feel like I'm waking up from a nightmare. The last 2 - 3 years were very hard on me. I am definitely on my feet again and steadily getting my strength back, but there are moments when I still feel how badly I was shattered.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is a false statement in my opinion. Although not dead, I am weaker now. Maybe the strength stage comes later?

Update:

It actually does come later.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 19–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I'm open to being friends with anyone as long as we like some of the same things. I prefer meeting quickly, rather than having lengthy correspondences. You can't fully trust what you gather about someone only through online contact. No amount of correspondence or photos can inform you of what it will actually be like when face-to-face. And, ultimately, that's the bit that matters, no?

A word of warning: I can be a very tiring person.

Sometimes it's because I've been bottling stuff inside and it so desperately needs to comes out, while I'm trying my hardest not to let it, resulting in some mumbled words in half-finished sentences. When I get like that, it's best if I spend a bit of time by myself and get some sleep. Otherwise, chances are that the mumbling will go on and on, or get worse and worse.

Other times, I just talk too much, or analyze things too extensively, and I get super into whatever I'm talking about and don't notice that I have bored the listener to tears. My interests can also be rather obscure, or too abstract/mathematical when others just want to relax.

I'm frequently told to relax, but what they don't realy understand is that talking about my interests is what relaxes me most. I can only relax when I'm active. And I'm always fidgeting and a bit restless, unless I'm happy where I am and then I'm quite often super impassioned by whatever I'm talking about. No matter how you look at it, I am tiring for others and all my best friends know that sometimes it's ok to just ignore me. I don't mind. In fact I appreciate it, cause I don't want to annoy anyone.

It's really really hard to offend me and I appreciate more than anything when people feel free to tell me to leave if they want me to go, or to let me know when I did something that bothered them...

But you shouldn't be wary of meeting me in real life for the first time. I've met many people from okcupid and I don't think I've ever made anyone uncomfortable. My only request is that you ask yourself if you'd be happy to make a new friend and write to me only if the answer is "yes", but a "yes" that doesn't mean you'll just be making a compromise when in fact you wanted more (sex, love, whatever).

I don't "date" off the internet. I don't date at all actually, cause I don't really like naming my relationships with others. Pretty much everyone is in one big soup of friends, and it's kinda hard to say which ones I'm dating, which ones are my fuck-buddies, which I feel more romantic about, and which ones are friends with which none of these has yet happened. Each person is unique and I think it lacks delicacy to start placing them in categories. I don't like to be labeled and I don't label.

Don't message me if you have a very specific agenda, like you're looking for the love of your life or your next lay. For those who seek a certain type of person, I assure you, either I am not your type, or I am, but you're not mine.