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36 Bucharest, Romania Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 19–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Today – 6:04am
Bisexual, Sapiosexual, Straight, Gay, Questioning
White, Other
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Art / Music / Writing
Less than $20,000
Seeing Someone
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Romanian (Fluently), French (Okay), Spanish (Okay), German (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi, I'm Catinca.

My profile is very long, so read however much you feel like. The only section I'd really like you to read is "You should message me if..." section. The rest is only for those interested. It's like I'm born to be a long winded writer, so I understand if you don't make it through all my rambling.

My life has taken an amazing turn for the better. I can be pretty dark, but it's not my current state of mind.

I'm in a state full of vitality and happiness. I look at flowers, I love my plants, I adore my cats... and everything around me seems to be a cloud of health and love.

It's also contagious - people keep telling me that they are so happy to see me and that they feel out of their angst when I'm around. When I'm well, I am the kind of person who is happy to be alive and happy to entertain.

I think that having clinical depression makes you strangely aware of the beauty in life when you're not depressed. Those with the disorder (me) can fall into a certain depth of depression that others can't even fathom. When the dark fog lifts up, your life appears glorious and you come to appreciate every minute of it - the ups and even the downs - all as a part of what normality is. Normality is just beautiful in comparison to the agony that you know can be experienced.

To be clear, clinical depression is very different than being bipolar. I don't have mood swings. The deepest darkest depressions last a very long time (up to a year or even more), but they happen only when prompted by actual misfortunes. I have also gone through years and years of being depression free. So, it's a very different condition to being bipolar - much more manageable, generally speaking.

However, you needn't worry about all this, because I suspend my profile during those dark periods. If you're reading this, then you'll meet a person who smiles and laughs quite a bit.

I'm very understanding and I tend not to judge people, but accept them for who they are. I'm always curious about people and what makes them who they are. I think I can make people feel very comfortable around me.

I am a very solitary person, but when I am in the company of others, they have my attention.

I used to have many romantic relationships during my teens and early 20-s, but I haven't been good at getting nor keeping any relationships going after my divorce, when I was 25. But I've always been somewhat romantically inclined, so I try to make any interaction with other people matter.

Albeit solitary, I miss having a partner to share my daily life with. I'm open to anything between making a new friend to finding a real partner.

I like knowing a person's boundaries and prefer it if they are stated clearly. I make it an oath to try my best not to ever overstep them. It's something I do because it's also something very important to me: I like people who will give me time and space when I ask for it - whether we're talking about time and space on an abstract emotional level, or actual time and space when I'm busy with something else. I can't always be there for hanging out. However, I do my best to help out a friend in trouble. It's only abuses of my time that I don't appreciate.

I prefer hanging out with only one person at a time, because then I can really pay attention to all that is going on. But I'm not bad at social situations either. The difference is that I enjoy hanging out with one person, while I consider social situations something I have to survive through and it's often with a great deal of effort. But I do well - I don't embarrass people when they introduce me to their friends.

For someone on okc: I want to meet you asap, because I don't have time for lengthy correspondences. I am not here to make online acquaintances, I'm here to make real life friends. I don't care for online interaction, so please try to write to me only if you would be ready to skip all the correspondence and meet for real. Thank you.

I think I should also mention that I have the emotional age of a 15 year old. I get excited like a kid, I like climbing fences and trees, I like sleepovers (not necessarily sexual), I love eating gummy bears and candy in general. But it also means that life impacts me in very unexpected and strong ways. I don't have "walls". I am far too honest, far too trusting, far to open to being hurt. People normally feel things with this intensity during their early teenage years. I just never grew up. How safe someone makes me feel is an important aspect of whether I like a person or not.

I also like people who are very direct when I do something that bothers them and also who tell me when I do something they like. Sometimes I don't sense these things from subtle gestures and I don't want to bother anyone. If someone is overly polite, I get worried that I'm not told when I do something wrong. I prefer forthrightness to exceeding politeness.

One of the strangest things about me is that I really like people as a species. I think we've concocted such an interesting world. And living the urban lifestyle gives us an appreciation for the wild that would otherwise never be noticed. Wild life exists only because we made up civilizations.

To me, the amazing things we built are obvious and it seems logical to me to say that I really like people when I think how I enjoy being human. The reason why I think this is one of the strangest things about me is because, generally speaking, people talk very poorly of human beings as a race. All they see is destruction, greed and malice in homo sapiens. I don't know if I know anyone who says they like human beings. In virtue of this, I believe that my appreciation for humankind is rendered as something weird indeed.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"To do something with one's life"... hmmm. It seems more like a day to day development. I'm not doing anything with my life, cause it's not exactly something I can mold as I please.

You want some things, you have dreams, and you have some abilities and some weaknesses. These are the circumstances you provide to your life. Then there's all the rest of the stuff around you which affect however your life progresses.

What I'm doing with my life is trying to do the things that depend on me as best I can, such that my dreams will have most chances of becoming true.

It's important to me that I don't think about what could have been if I had acted differently. I did the best I could and, if it didn't lead to the desired result, I just accept the new circumstances and take it from there. Accept the present and work with it, instead of dwelling on not having a different (and imaginary) present.

I detest regrets. I don't have them. I don't understand why others have them, cause you can't know what could have been. Often enough, you'll find that acting differently in similar circumstances won't give the desired result either.

All you can do is to keep trying. Try, try and try again. Eventually you'll find success. Successful people actually experience more failures than those who settle for less.

What I have done with my life so far:

I'm an only child and was seen as some kind of prodigy by my family. It's been a hard cross to bare.

I've decided to dedicate my life to making something of myself when I was 13. I started doing art seriously at that age. My teenage years are filled with drawing, drawing, drawing and getting drunk. Highschool has not left a deep impression on me, other than the art and art history classes. Otherwise, I just remember skipping school a lot and hiding in museums.

I left home at 18 and went to London for 3 months. I studied while I was there and acquainted myself with as many drugs as I could, as long as it did not interfere with my studies and going to tons of museums.

I came back home and did my first degree in Fine Arts, specialized in Photography. I did my second degree, in Philosophy, starting at age 27. I spent 8 years as a university student, have taken over 120 courses, 30-something of which were in philosophy.

Philosophy remained my true passion, while I left the practice of art aside. I'll sketch something or take some photos every now and then, but I'm not planning to get serious about being an artist. My dreams are to get much more serious about writing philosophy. My ideas are unconventional enough that I don't see myself being part of any institution of philosophy, such as teaching it anywhere. I need my freedom to write and not be constrained by academic requirements.

I lived 2 1/2 years in NY, 6 months in Santiago de Chile and 5 years in Vancouver (5 years in 3 separate stages).

The human mind fascinates me and I've studied it from as many points of view as I could. Lots of theoretical studies, but also by means of experimenting with artificially altered states of mind. I'm very curious by nature.

Work-wise, I've mainly worked in classical (hand drawn) animation and I have many years of teaching experience in university. I've taught photography, drawing/painting, and logic.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
These change according to what I've been practicing most recently. I'm pretty good at logic, even though it's been quite a few years since I did any problems (first order logic mainly), but you get practice with it in most thinking processes. Or you should anyway.

I think it would make a lot of sense to include a "I'm really bad at" section. Even more, I think that, if I did have to choose between the two, I'd rather hear what people think badly about themselves. It's a good exercise to think about what you're not good at.

I mean, the likelihood that you've filled your profile until now with nasty things about yourself is very low. Most people write about the things that they like and that put them in a good light. It's a dating site, n'est pas? And then, on top of that, they ask you to brag some more. Wouldn't it make more sense to force people to admit their shortcomings, since it is likely useful information after the initial first good impression they just attempted above?

To continue the sentence 'I'm really good at' a ton of things. I'm quite smart, but a bit slow in my thinking. I have to think about things a lot before I reach my conclusions. I'm the last person to laugh at a joke and so on. I'm slow, but thorough. I memorize stuff. I have infinite hobbies and collections.

I'm really bad at answering my phone. I'm bad if my boundaries aren't respected. I'm not the best of cooks. I'm sometimes annoyingly analytic. I'm sometimes really bad at taking care of myself (I forget to eat, I smoke and drink lots of pop/soda).

I hate it when people don't keep their word or aren't on time. If it happens, I appreciate them letting me know something's up. I'd appreciate the phone turned off during the meeting, unless some special circumstances are previously discussed.

What I hate about myself for myself is that I'm not very disciplined in my work if I don't have any deadlines to meet. I keep wanting to write and then I never do. I will eventually - I know it, but it's so hard to get that discipline going.

List of what others have complained about me:
Too engaging
Too much talking
Too many medical stories
Too many morbid or depressing stories
Too much of a hermit
And the last and most frequent one, my favourite: TOO W E I R D

And that's about all I can think of.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Again, I have a problem with this phrasing. Do they want to hear what's my best feature, my worst feature, what is most obvious about me in the course of a second, 2 minutes, 1 hour? What is the trait I have that is easiest to notice?

I have asked many many people, but the answers vary very much. The only answer which was decidedly more frequent was: hair. It's short. This is the easiest trait to notice in the first few minutes at least. But I honestly don't think it's that telling to my character.

If you ask me, I always think that after a very short time of knowing me, people notice I'm a goof or that I'm childishly shy. I don't know if that's true, but that's always my impression. Or simply that I'm odd.

I'm also very thick skinned about being teased. This often makes me the person to laugh at when I'm out with friends. I don't mind being the clown. The only way I know how to save myself is by making fun of me myself and I do it with such harshness and lack of self-respect, that I can outdo any amount of others' teasing.

I don't think that true self-respect resides in how much fun you can make of yourself. I have plenty of pride and dignity, but it is found in my life choices not when I'm out, laughing with my friends.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books:I will give some titles of books that I enjoyed for very different reasons:

(in random order)
"Modern Logic" by Graeme Forbes (it has ordered my entire thinking)
"1984" by George Orwell (really good book)
"History of Western Philosophy" by Bertrand Russell (really fun)
"Small Gods" (and many others) by Terry Pratchett (really funny)
"From a Logical Point of View" by W.V.O. Quine (eye-opener)
The Geographical Atlas (my dad used to say it was my story-book when I was a kid - I love maps)
"The Journal of Laura Palmer" by Jennifer Lynch (first time I discovered that reading books can be super easy and can leave me just as I was before reading it... yet somehow still pleasant)
The Zoological Atlas (first I discovered I liked collecting info)
"Phaedrus", by Plato (I can't explain why I liked it)
"On Liberty", by J.S. Mill (I just agree with a lot of it)
"The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand (I am not well acquainted with her philosophy, so please give me a break and don't read volumes into the fact that I found this book a really enjoyable read. I am a libertarian, but don't pin on me her form of libertarianism, because, from what I know, it is not the form which I would agree with.)
"The Collector", by John Fowles (well written)
"Animal Farm", by Orwell (the most amazing definition of human nature and organization, in spite of having very few humans as characters)
"John Barleycorn", by Jack London (taught me how to watch out not to become an alcoholic)
"Of Mice and Men", by Steinbeck (I'm melt when I read about true friendship)
"Dead Souls", by Nikolai Gogol (the Russians... funny kind of people)
"The Brothers Karamazov", by Fyodor Dostoevsky (the Russian spirit continued - it's one of my weaknesses)
"A Treatise on Human Nature", by David Hume (Papa Empiricism can't miss from this list)
"On the Origin of Species", by Charles Darwin (do I need to have a reason? ok - I find it very useful in my work)

(the spell check doesn't contain "Graeme", "Phaedrus", "libertarianism", "Fowles", "Barleycorn" but suggested "Barrymore", and "Fyodor")

Music: Oh, I don't know. There is a set of songs to which I listen obsessively, but naming them would be rather personal. I am most moved when listening to certain pieces of opera. Playful punk cheers me up. Yea, yea, I'm not cool - big deal.

(in random order)
Apocalypse Now (only saw the director's cut - 40-something minutes more of the most paralyzing horror images which were cut out from the movie as it came out originally),
One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
The Professional (Leon)
Once Upon a Time in America
Prizzi's Honor
Deer Hunter
A Tale from The Bronx
The Butler
The Last King of Scotland
101 Dalmatians (the animated movie)
Some Like it Hot
Escape from Sobibor
La Cage aux Folles
Taxi Driver
The Big Lebowski
American History X
The Usual Suspects
Full Metal Jacket
Silence of the Lambs
In the Name of the Father
The Inner Circle (there are more movies with this title; the one I'm referring to is the story about Stalin's projectionist)
The Wall
Little Miss Sunshine
La Mome
Dr. Strangelove
Snow Cake
Hemingway and Gellhorn
Half Nelson (this movie felt like it was done by someone who actually lived through many of my experiences. It felt like it was about me.)

I've watched Amadeus 100 times I think. I used to watch it obsessively as a child. I have it memorized. Has anyone noticed it's actually a musical?

T.V. shows: Ok, I do have a bunch of sitcoms which I enjoy listening to rather than watching while I do other things. But a couple of shows stand out and they are not sitcoms: Oz and Law and Order - the original version. My favourite sitcom is probably Malcolm in the Middle.

Favourite quote from Malcolm in the Middle. Hal: "Look, Dewey, I've made the microwave oven work without having to shut the door..."

Food: dunno. Most food. I refuse to eat raw oysters, but they don't particularly strike me as food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Actually, - life sustinance aside - there is only one thing I could never do without: a wish. If there were 6 things, I'd lose focus.

I will add one thing: my laptop is my best friend. I write on it, which is damn important to me. I don't think I could give up having a laptop (given that the world were no different than it is, not in a world without computers and www) for any single person on this planet. If I had to choose between never seeing BOB again, or the laptop, my fingers speak for themselves. Sorry, mom, you too.

And then there's the list of things I have to really concentrate not to lose: keys, wallet, cellphone, and whatever form of ID I have on me. Not that they're important, but it's a pain in the ass when you lose them. Also, I spend a considerable time of my day thinking not to lose them. There are many things that are more valuable to me, things that I'd really hate losing, like my sanity, but it's just not on my mind as much as my keys, wallet, phone and whatever form of ID I have on me.

I think I listed six in a loose sense of the word...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I could never put it as well as George Carlin. I think a lot about this stuff:

I think about things that I don't agree with most people. For example, the dichotomy between reason and emotions, treating these as if they were mutually exclusive modes of thought. I don't think there's any such thing as "emotional thinking", since emotions are emotions and not thought. "Rational thinking" is pretty much the only thinking there is.... isn't that what thought is? - to reason through whatever is on your mind? Do you emotion through whatever is on your mind? I don't.

I wonder, am I the only one who can reason about something, whilst at all times feeling emotion too. If I don't act upon my every emotion, does it mean that I am reasonable and am NOT emotional? Is it not reasonable to look at a painting and react emotionally?

And I wonder if people can tell the difference between liking something, in the sense that it conforms to certain standards we chose to be the standards for "things we like" and liking something, in the sense that it brings you simple true and strong enjoyment. To me, it seems like only the second type of liking will make me happy, while the first is an assessment, an evaluation of an object that, aside from the case that you are required to be a neutral judge, is really of no use at all. Why? Cause I don't see the point of liking if it's not what you (maybe inexplicably) enjoy.

I have opinions on most things I am asked. Sometimes, I had no idea I had an opinion, but, when asked, it comes to me clear as day.

Also, I think a lot about logical paradoxes and puzzles of probability. I think of all kinds of metaphysical stuff, or about the foundation of arithmetic, axiomatic systems, etc. I think a lot about social influences on our comprehension of the world, about communication and about language and its role in how we think.

I mean, I already said that I'm really passionate about philosophy, so you can imagine that I do a lot of thinking. I like to include as much neuroscience and evolutionary biology as I can in my philosophical opinions.

I don't want to start talking about why I don't see myself doing philosophy in an academic setting cause that's an essay in itself.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
therefore I think? *knee slap*
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Good lord. - that gives me a good idea of something private to admit:

I'm an atheist, but I'm not against prayer or any kind of usage of religion to have someone there when there's no one else for you. I have been told about religious private practices used as a form of empowerment when you're in a desperate situation. The process of asking for help and believing that you will get it may actually make you a bit stronger.

I myself use different ways to encourage myself. God is not exactly present in my life or my discourse, which is why I consider myself an atheist. If people explain things by invoking divine intervention, I don't know what to reply. Divine intervention does not play any role in how I understand the world around me.

Equally, nor does alien intervention. I think aliens have left just about as many signs of being present on Earth as God has.

However, I think it's important to note that I am not anti-theist. I have my opinions, but I don't fancy myself so supremely knowledgeable as to have solid grounds to decidedly oppose any explanations of why things are as they are. I also am quite bothered that many who call themselves "atheists" are in fact aggressive anti-theists.

I am not the biggest fan of religious (and anti-religious) beliefs when they lead to conflicts among people. Why destroy/attack/ridicule something because they have a different explanation of the world? It's not like we have any certain answers to the great questions of existence.

If a time will come and I will find the need for God, I'll invent him.

The reason I chose to talk about this as the most private thing I'm willing to admit is precisely because I think such opinions should be private, not advertised, not forced upon others, and not attacked.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You take the meaning of "message" as some kind of sequence of sentences and not the beginning of a chat conversation. No "hello there", "Hi, how are you today?" or anything like that. I'm really not open to live chatting unless previous contact was established. Otherwise, write while keeping in mind that I may be doing something else and will respond when I have time.

I don't care if you've read my profile or not, or not fully. I've written it for those who are interested, but I'm not going to get upset if you just skim through it. The only section I really care that you read is this one.

I like reading fully formed sentences. I don't like a complete lack of care for the English/Romanian/whichever language, but I won't go crazy if you don't capitalize, for example. I will go nuts if you don't use punctuation though. Please, punctuation can be essential to correctly understanding the meaning of propositions.

I'm likely to respond positively to "Hello, would you like to meet?". If you have already decided that you have learned enough about me and would like to meet in person without needing to know more beforehand, I'm game. But, if you do choose such a direct approach, I'd hope you have written a bit about yourself in your profile so that I can have some information as well. Or at least you have a photo. I appreciate profiles with photos - the more the better. At minimum, I'd like to have your answers regarding height, kids, pets, sexual orientation, relationship status and all that section filled out. Come on, that's really a minimum effort you can make.

Those would be my formal requirements.

As far as what I'm looking for.... I'm looking for any kind of relationship. I've recently come out of a very difficult and disappointing exclusive romantic involvement and I don't feel I'd be open to having sex during the first meeting. It ended so recently that the thought that I no longer have anyone to be faithful towards still needs to sink in. It may take a couple of meetings for me to learn to feel sexual about someone new.

Please, don't aim for sex immediately. We'll get to know each other first and then we'll see. First thing you should worry about with me is that we have an interesting conversation. I like intelligent people - people from whom I can learn new things. I also like people who can have a sense of humour about themselves. If you're self-important, I'm likely to tease you to the point where it will be offensive.

Oh, yeah, I like teasing my friends and like being teased. It makes me feel at ease.

Bonuses to tall men. I like tall men. I have a weakness for guys with glasses for some unknown reason. Obviously, it's not a must that your eye sight needs the help of glasses. It's just a quirk.

I like smaller women (in height). I wouldn't date a woman who is a lot taller than me. Also, I am open to being sexual from the start with a woman, since I have been allowed to be with women during the aforementioned relationship.

Neither age nor weight are issues with me. Fat, skinny, curvy, chubby, shy, cocky, young, old, nerdy, rebellious, depressed, cheerful, honest,.... - as long as your mind is active and you look at the world with curiosity and appreciation for the diversity it offers - I'm probably going to like you.