"I never ask for nothing I don't demand in myself -- honesty, loyalty, friends, and then wealth." -- Jay-Z

"Everybody say, 'nothing comes too easy,' but when you got it, baby, nothing comes too hard." -- Prince

I'm best under stress.

Enabling the future of enterprise-grade content distribution. If you have 25 TVs at home, call me.

* Being halfway across the street when the crosswalk says "go"
* Amusing myself
* Karaoke like whoa

I probably just said something hilarious, or offensive, or both. Often both. I didn't mean anything by it, I swear! [He did mean it. --ed]

"Rushmore" is the greatest movie ever made, objectively speaking.

Some TV shows I have enjoyed include The Wire, Arrested Development, and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Dexter was good for two seasons, then it sucked. Admit it.

I like non-fiction books.

Michelin stars = good. Gray's Papaya = great.

Prince is the greatest musical genius of our generation.

* Laptop
* BBQ
* An audience
* Me Lucky Charms

I'm easy.

If I just keep delegating, eventually I can go on vacation year-round. Right?

Lately Fridays have been spent recovering from Thursdays. They say nobody plans to fail...

I didn't read your favorite books/movies/music list, and I don't care if you read mine. (Just in case though, let me re-state: Prince is the greatest musical genius of our generation.)

You are bone-shatteringly funny, overpoweringly intelligent, and really good at holding things without dropping them.

Every girl I've ever *really* liked has, at least once, purchased a car with a manual transmission. The rest of you, good luck. (New York girls who don't even have a driver's license may be awarded a pass.)

Any woman who has chosen a career that involves getting paid to argue is probably my type.

Stick-shifting lady lawyers, move to the front of the line. The rest of you have an uphill climb. At least you've got an automatic transmission!