Now, read on and hopefully this profile may bring a smile. (don't take it seriously)
No woman will ever be completely satisfied, because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that shoots out money!
I'm not on here for any amount of seriousness, I'm just bored on night shift and I'm checking out people’s profiles and pictures!
I'm shallow, cynical and sarcastic and not into expressing my "feelings", high maintenance women annoy me, text speak shits me and I sometimes feel like shooting people who don't know the difference between your and you're. I am the grammar Nazi, which is surprising since I didn't really do well in English at school, come to think of it I didn't do well at any subject at school, but I have travelled, a lot, and I think that travel and exposure to different peoples and cultures have made me realise how important language is
Does that make me a bad person, I don't think so, it just makes me totally honest from the word go.
Ok, so I have perused a lot of profiles, some are quite witty, some scream of desperation, some ask the question "where are all the decent blokes gone" Well, they're not gone, well, not completely anyway.
The nice guys have all turned into cynical, mistrusting individuals, largely due to the fact that the women who are asking the question, who we were interested in in high school, always picked the bastard bloke for relationships, and us "nice guys" as friends, who were promptly beaten up by said bastard boyfriends for becoming too close to the girls. We got sick of it! Now, after all this time, you finally woke up and realised that you've wasted the last 20yrs and now want to be treated the way we treated you in the first place, we don't want a bar of it.
I hope that explains things to everyone’s satisfaction!
*if you weren't one of those girls in high school, you no doubt knew one or two of them.
(if this was in a newspaper I would expect the editor to be inundated with complaints right about now)
For anyone who has made it thus far without pressing the back button in disgust and anger, I'm not anywhere near as cynical as I appear (I am rather sarcastic though) I'm just really bored and have what some may describe as a bit of a warped sense of humour. I even have one friend who took all this shit seriously and now wants me to seek professional help. Maybe I should do it, and like Sheldon Cooper when people ask me if I'm mad I can state with conviction "I am not, I have been tested"