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34 Washington, DC Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 30-42
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 23
Sapiosexual, Straight
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
Atheism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
**Please read my "you should message me if" section. I get way too many emails that clearly show a lack of focus/reading comprehension. Please don't waste my time or yours.**

I'd like to think that I'm pretty fucking awesome, but I have enough self awareness to know that I'm probably just above-average awesome. You should be able to match that level of awesomeness. (NB: I'm not conceited or delusional, just so tired of people underselling themselves.)

I try to be a well-rounded human being -- in my interests, hobbies, and knowledge. I'm loyal, dedicated, and most dogs like me ("I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person." ~ Bill Murray). My dad thinks I'm wise and that I should find myself a lumberjack. My brother gets a kick out of all the ridiculous emails I get on here (to one he sarcastically said "Can't wait for him to be my brother in law!").

I want to meet a guy who isn't intimidated by intelligence, strength, passion, and (let's face it) weirdness. I would love to meet a guy who can inspire me, keep up with me, and go on adventures with me (travel, new restaurants, classes/learning to do new things, etc.).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
In my 9-5 — herding lawyers.
In my 5-9 — Cultivating the above-referenced awesomeness.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
panicking and saying something terribly awkward.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Sports: diehard NY Giants fan (they never make it easy). Love playing softball, miss playing volleyball (too much compression for my back... read below), am a fish in open water.

books: Shakespeare (my collected works is full of post-it flags and penciled in notes in the margin), forensic thrillers, non-fiction on a variety of topics (especially nutrition, food science, and forensic anthropology).

tv: Dr. Who, Blacklist, Hannibal, Castle, American Horror Story.

movies: more romcom/drama/comedy than action/horror.

music: I skew towards singers/bands that have amazing lyrics and solid melodies/harmonies. See, e.g., Elbow.

foods: Bacon. Garlic. Avocado. Everything else is secondary.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. My family and friends
2. Modern medical technology (check out the photo of my artificial disc!).
3. Music (Nietzsche said "without music life is a mistake" and I happen to agree)
4. A fully-loaded kitchen (both hardware (sharp knives) and software (fresh produce and proteins))
5. Buddhism (helped me be a happier person -- Thich Nhat Hanh, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield)
6. Otters
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
...why everyone thinks calling each other bae is cute. It means poop in Danish apparently....

...why so many men on OkCupid have horrible photos of themselves and then say they don't have anything recent. EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU KNOW IS CARRYING A CAMERA. Make a friend, use good lighting, get it in focus, lay off the filters....

...why all you manly mens don't like cute little kittens...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
trying to avoid the Blerch.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Back in 2007 i was trampled during the Flogging Molly set at ShamrockFest. Because of this i am hesitant about crowds and also have some lingering back issues. Not the Tylenol and a heating pad kind but the ice, steroids, and opiates kind. I know this is kinda serious to mention on OkCupid, but it's something you should know about me. I'm a fighter and grateful for every good day.

Hopefully this doesnt get in the way of my NFL or PGA career like it has for Peyton and Tiger.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Can you talk to a girl like she's a normal fucking human being that deserves to be treated with respect and courtesy? And if I politely decline your overtures, please let me do so without interrogating me as to the why or calling me a slut. I'm just not interested for one reason or another. But good luck in your search. [And I know it's not just me — please stop being rude to my friends as well.]

Deal makers (and yes, these matter to me. Sorry to all of you smoking midgets):
1. Taller than me (I grew up with a dad that's 6'1")
2. Non-Smokers (My desire to kiss a smoker is absolute zero)
3. You have a reasonably full command of the English language (though if it's not your first language, that's cool too)
4. You have good manners and are a gentleman.
5. You know who you are, what you want out of life, and are in pursuit of that life.

To answer many your questions that really waste my time/your time (I'm just deleting your email after your (minimal) effort):
"Hi, how r u?" -- I'm fine. Thanks.
"Hey, whut up?" -- The sky.
"UR Beautiful" -- Thanks. My dad tells me that too, but he also tells me how talented, smart, compassionate, wise, and creative I am as well. Cause dad knows that being beautiful means zip if the rest of you is ugly.

Nb: I don't pay attention to Quickmatch. I assume you all swipe right.

You came here b/c my friend's profile pointed you my way. I won't tell all his secrets, but he's seriously a good guy. And his dog is such a goober.