I'm the soprano in the back of the loft, the A-student in the front classroom desk. I'm the skier in jeans, the artist with the mechanical pencil, and the laugh you hear from across the room. I look good in hats, look bad on a skateboard, and can't find my glasses when they're right on my head. I'm the chef with the nose ring, the leader of the gang, and the one without a nickel to spare. I'd jump in and save you, jump in and fight you, and would say anything to your face. I put others first, give great advice, and don't consider cheating an option. My voice matches my face, my 'tude matches my body, and my heart matches the soul it holds hostage.

Skiing, reading, writing, goofing off, wining, dining, smoking cigars, drinking fine beer, making my own sauce, making my own smoking devices, making my own margaritas, making my own jewelery, making my own blueprints, putting stickers on my phone, sitting on my front steps, walking through Central Park, and quoting Mr. Shakespeare...oh yeah, and playing pool...lots of pool.

Cooking, swearing, kissing, things beyond kissing, telling jokes, talking shit, listening, giving advice, singing, making friends

my big blue eyes, my raucous laugh, my enormous breasts, my fish tattoo

The Golden Compass, Where the Red Fern Grows, Reliquary, the Samantha Plum novels, A Time to Kill, Dealing with Dragons, Where the Wild Things Are

Braveheart, Legends of the Fall, The Thomas Crown Affair, Lonesome Dove, Forest Gump, American Graffiti, 13 Going on 30, Drive Me Crazy, Keeping the Faith, Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken, Saving Private Ryan, Mission Impossible, The Abyss, Under Siege, The Silence of the Lambs, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Lord of the Rings series, Harry Potter, Legend, The Labyrinth, As Good As It Gets, Almost Famous, Boys Don't Cry, Where the Heart Is, Fried Green Tomatoes, Steel Magnolias, Blade Runner, School of Rock, Wonderland

Dirty ole Rock and Roll, Pearl Jam, David Gray, Dave Matthew's Band, Gavin Degraw, Nirvana, Velvet Revolver, The Fu Fighters, Natalie Cole, Eminem, Rusted Root, Alannah Myles, Prince, Audioslave, Queens of the Stone Age, The Dixie Chicks, Eighties Hair Bands, Power Rock Ballads, The Forest Gump Soundtrack, The Era of Sock Hops, Coldplay, U2, Live, Anything Piano, Kings of Leon, Daughtry

Artichokes, pasta, olives, bread, peanut butter, cottage cheese; cheddar, mustard, and Doritos sandwiches; venison, my mom's sour cream chocolate cake with chocolate cream cheese frosting, my grandma's oyster stuffing, my dad's potato salad and jerky

1. butter
2. my Burt's Bees lip stuff
3. my hemp lotion
4. a pen
5. my planner
6. sex

food, sex, how to make more money, how to stop appearing like a train wreck, what book I want to read next, how I'll get myself out of debt, who I should cut out of the inner circle, who I should hit on next, what I should cook next, whether I'll ever have another restaurant review, whether I'll ever have another dreamless night, whether I'll cook the food I'm bringing home from work, and whether I'll ever feel like getting married again.

looking for trouble. Or I'm causing trouble. Or trying to get someone else into trouble. Oh, then there's working. I work a lot, too.

I scream...actually, if I'm really motivated, I can make myself scream...I'm always impressed when that happens.

you're lonely, you're bored, you're horny, you're hot, you need a kitchen job, you play pool relatively well, you don't care what anyone thinks about you, or you have a secret burning a hole in your pocket that you absolutely have to tell someone.

You should NOT message me if you plan on calling me "sexy" in the first five sentences, comment on my breasts before asking my name, or have a problem spelling out commonly used words.