Hey. I just moved to Chilltown from Chicago and I'm looking to cause some trouble. Unfortunately Jersey sensed my desire for mischief and sent a hurricane after me. I survived and I am undeterred. It would be swell if I had a co-conspirator who is also hell bent on having fun. I only know a few people here so it would definitely be nice to make some new friends, that's for sure.

I've been in the process of trying to figure this out for the last 32 years.

Forgetting names
Remembering the lyrics to songs I haven't heard in years
Cooking with a wok
Navigating
Growing facial hair
Procrastinating
Tetris
Being punctual
Handling my spice

The sound of me. I'm not quiet, I would be a horrible ninja. I believe the best word to describe me would be boisterous.

If I listed all of my favorite books on here it would probably cause the servers to overload. I love Vonnegut to pieces. I can be found reading just about anything from Douglas Adams to Howard Zinn.

It's such a cliche to say that I like most movies but I find it to be true. It takes a triumphantly bad film for me to complain about it. Some of my favorites include most everything Scorsese, the Coen brothers or Kubrick were ever involved in, the Star Wars trilogy before Lucas added all the crap, the even numbered Police Academy movies and Suburban Commando.

Books, my glasses, hot sauce, bagels, mid 90's punk/ska music that I've never out grown and the interwebs.

Which historical figures had the best facial hair.
Story ideas that I never fully finish.
My next scheme to find a way for someone else to pay for me to travel out of the country.
What happened to Boba Fett when he was inside of the sarlacc.
Wondering why Jawbreaker wasn't enormously popular.
Which Scotch well out of my price range shall I buy next.
The 2001 Miami Hurricanes.
Why I have so much trouble spelling restraunt, restauraunt, dammit, restaurant.
The False Dimitris
What the tagline of my obituary is going to be.

Enjoying some adult beverages with friends and probably spending a ton of money playing Misfits and Hold Steady songs on the jukebox.

When I was a little kid I wanted to be Santa Claus when I grew up. I figured that eventually the old man would have to retire and that it was an actual job that I could apply for. I like to think that I wanted to be Santa because I wanted to be responsible for bringing joy to kids all over the world. Yet I'm pretty sure I was more motivated by only having to work one day a year and having an army of elves to make toys for me whenever I commanded them to.

Also, I'm refusing to answer any more of the questions OKC asks because I'm amused that I have answered 666. Metal.

If our enemy percentage is over 50%. No, really, I want to find out why OKC thinks that we would hate each other, it really intrigues me. Plus if I could find a devious nemesis through here that would be wicked sweet.

Seriously, if my profile intrigued you in the slightest shoot me a message. I don't bite. Well, I won't bite unless you smell overpoweringly like bacon and I get confused. But I always apologize afterward.

Oooh, and if you speak Mandarin and want to help someone who has spent all of 2 weeks trying to learn it. So far that is.