Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

Tantawan

31 F Chicago, IL

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like girls
  • Ages 22–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Sep 15
Orientation
Gay
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Vegan
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on masters program
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Japanese (Okay), Arabic (Poorly), Thai

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am an extroverted ex-hermit (it was a thing) and I have learned to embrace my ridiculous nerdiness. Right now I'm mostly focused on grad school and my friends and getting the rest of my life in order, but if the opportunity for a serious relationship came by, well, that would be peachy.

I'm a genderfucking, femme, white, trans, queer woman, and a bottom who switches--if any of these identities don't appeal to you, don't bother me. Don't ask me whether I'm 'female' or 'transsexual' as if they were mutually exclusive--it will garner you an insult, and nothing more. I'm highly political--in the queer politics/fat phobia/white privilege sense more so than the electoral sense. I love to cook and eat vegan food.

I used to be militantly poly. Hey, look, everyone was 23 once, ok? Anyhow, these days I don't really care, my needs on the subject are pretty flexible, other than that I'm not looking to be your third/hot bi babe/secondary/unicorn.

I tend to mostly date girls and genderqueer folk, which is about half my preference and half "straight guys have a certain tendency toward trans misogynistic bullshit that I have no desire to deal with." Don't message me if you're going to be like that, ok?

First messages that don't start with the word "valkyrie" will be deleted unread.

It seems OKC has a poor grasp on the geography of Chicago, or my location, or both. I live in Uptown.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a computer science student at DePaul. Otherwise I have quite deliberately cultivated a boring life with wonderful friends. I'm an ex-activist, with all the jadedness and cynicism someone who earnestly believes in a revolution that liberates everyone--assholes, bigots, and felons included--can possibly muster. (This is not actually that much. Most of the time.)

I'm committed to keeping non-BDSM control out of my relationships. This is not synonymous with keeping it in the bedroom.

Popularizing the word "busted" as a non-oppression-based alternative to more oppressive insults (e.g. "lame" or "gay"). Trying to get the negative senses of "bitch" out of my vocabulary. (why is this word still popular in 'radical' communities?) I like the reclaimed senses, though.

Yes, I am one of those feminists.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people feel loved & desired. Feelings. Topping. Bottoming. Gender theory. Writing. Owning my privilege; seeing & denaturalizing oppression of myself or others; calling you on your shit.

Healing sex.

Dancing (dirty, contra, folk, or otherwise). Singing.

Asking for what I want without expectations.

Quick, cheap, tasty vegan/wheat-free cooking. Please, doubt me--because then I can prove it to you.

Snarking OK Cupid match questions?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm tall as fuck and I have red hair. Please.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
books: Whipping Girl, The Moor's Last Sigh , 100 Years of Solitude, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, the Vorkosigan Saga, Harry Potter, Harry Potter And The Methods Of Rationality, the His Dark Materials trilogy, My Heartbeat. Worm.

Writers not included in books above:
Fiction: Jorge Luis Borges, Pierre Menard, Suzanne Collins
Non-Fiction: Andrea Smith, Lisa Harney, Little Light, Foucault. Yes, Foucault is on my favorite writers list, yes I know, way to be a walking stereotype.

Films: The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. The Hobbit, Lincoln, ...Dr. Strangelove? TBQH I've come to have a greater appreciation for television than movies, because they're so much more character based.

Music: mogwai, Fugazi, Yo La Tengo, explosions in the sky, blonde redhead, my bloody valentine, sonic youth, you get the idea. But also OK Go, the Postal Service, Regina Spektor, and Bjork. But also Kanye and Lady Gaga and Ke$ha. But also Bob Dylan and Emmy Lou Harris. The Clash, The Ramones, and The Blue Hearts. Throw in Supercell and Linked Horizon, and you prove that theory that no axiomatized system can be both consistent and complete.

TV: Buffy, Madoka, PSYCHO-PASS, Attack on Titan, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, Paranoia Agent, Sherlock, Hyouka, Veronica Mars, Firefly, Fullmetal Alchemist, Azumanga Daioh, His and Her Circumstances. Yeah, yeah, I'm a Joss Whedon geek, and an anime geek, way to be a walking stereotype.

Other media: Welcome To Night Vale, Our Fair City

Foods: hibiscus, chickpeas (hummus, falafel, besan(-pizza)), dolmas, tea, rice, curry, Japanese food, spicy food, millet, sangria, mangos, and lavender. And! Fresh peaches, the kind that don't come from a can, and were not put there by a man in a factory downtown.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My bike, physical affection, sex, plants/a garden, trans people, and love. Political analysis?

Almost everything I have ever put here I then immediately manage to do just fine without for a substantial length of time, so I'm not updating it EVER AGAIN.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Policing of identity. Appropriation. Silencing. Desire.

Violence: against women, physical, intimate, stranger, domestic, emotional, transphobic, trans misogynistic, institutional, medical, financial, ontological, epistemological, state, police, racist, and sexual. Individual and community response(s) to, recovery from, accountability for. Preventing, processing, responding, healing.

Lately, what I think about most is the nature of transphobia and how inadequate and oppressive describing oppression in terms of a decontextualized "invisibility" or "ignorance" is. How ideas of ignorance and knowledge enable cis people to not see transphobic harassment when it happens right in front of them. What to replace the notion of "ignorance" with.

I care a lot about being intentional with consent for both sexual and non-sexual touch. I used to implement this with explicit verbal consent, all the time, but somewhere along the line came to realize the limitations of words and explicit check-ins, so I'm more fluid about the method. The spirit, though? Still crucial.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Honestly? Doing yoga. There is definitely such a thing as a typical Friday night, and it starts with sweating my ass off, but there's no need for it to end there.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Wait a minute! That's NOT the first time I've recited Arabic poetry while getting fucked."
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're trans-positive, sex-positive, and local!

Dating-wise, I'm mostly looking for tops/dommes/switches-who-can-stay-on-top. If you're vanilla, it could still work--if you're a sub, it probably won't.

I don't have anything against casual sex, but it's not something I'm looking for right now. And I'm not really looking for new friends, though I might make exceptions for trans ladies.

Bonus points if:

You're kinky but you understand and approve of the Predator Alert Tool For OK Cupid.

You're queer, trans, and/or fat,

You're vegan.

You're pissed about trans misogyny.

You want to watch and/or discuss Great Works of Anime and/or Television with me.

You're tall. Double if you're taller than me.

You have a passion for cheap entertainment and/or bike rides.

You know the difference between femme & straight-acting, gender subversion & masculinity, heteronormatively bisexual & queer, radical & punk rawk. You know exactly what I mean when I say "radicool."

You're amazing & fabulous. You know you're amazing and fabulous, right?

If you're trans: don't message me if you do this. Hell, just don't do it. (This does not cover political or genderqueer profile placement. I can usually tell which is which.)