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47 New York, NY Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28–52
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 6:26pm
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Other, and laughing about it
Graduated from masters program
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has kids
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a married man in a deeply committed, loving and flawed, open relationship with a wonderful woman, mother of my children. I seek a lover ready to explore surrender and power exchange where psychological depth is possible…

I WANT you to have some interesting differences from me. If you have anything in your profile along the lines of "please be 90% similar in this, or 85% similar in the other,” my moral and philosophical views will probably aggravate you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
celebrating it, raising children, reading books, practicing martial arts, investigating meaning, Tantra

Please respect my privacy and rights to social autonomy. If you know me or my wife, and the statements above offend you, please do not burden either of us with your moral outrage. If on the other hand, it makes you merely curious in an open-hearted way, I am happy to discuss it.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Quite a number of things, depending on what I really focus on. Currently, language, martial arts, music, building things... I'm terrible at bowling, which annoys me
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Intensity and directness
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The best book I have read in recent times is "The Book Thief." Beautifully and evocatively written...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
... ought to evolve to some degree over time. If your own answer to this question has remained constant for more than 10 years, I will probably challenge your beliefs
My list for now:
Intellectual discourse, sex, your surrender, intense physical exercise, kindness, books, …
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Sex, power dynamics, intimacy, philosophical meaning, and the subtext behind words, gestures, and social behavior
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either working, or practicing karate in a formal setting
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
There are no simple lives, and no simple people; and most of the time, most of us are uncomfortable acknowledging the veneer of our civilized lives as such. Yet, even if some are willing- eager even - to do so, there remains the great challenge of acting upon our desires to share sexually with others, on the one hand maintaining a sense of personal grace, subtlety, and without the feeling of surrendering ones dignity and sense of self in the face of obvious incompatibility because one is afraid to “miss the opportunity” ; while on the other hand avoiding giving oneself cheaply, casually… robbing oneself of the great intimacy, satisfaction, and delicious vulnerability that comes from an open-hearted intimate experience with a like-minded other, each carefully, specifically, choosing each other among other choices… appraising and appreciating what each of us bring to the moment such that we are more than cheap thrills and momentary sex-toys for one another.
I seek a woman who is not merely curious, but craves to be lost in deep, sub-space. . . who craves, regularly, to be bound, spanked and taken, long and artfully. . . I could also be interested in a sub couple. I seek intimacy within the context of complete sexual and psychic surrender. It does not matter if you have no experience; however, if you do, I will take full advantage of this fact.

BDSM has been central to my personal sexuality from my earliest moments of curiosity as a young boy; it is the lens through which I view sexuality.

I am not interested in merely casual fucking or a vanilla affair. I have no interest in 1-night stands, hook-ups or sex parties, for the simple reason that the intimacy and the psychological depth that I require as a Dominant is impossible within that context. This is for she who feels she MUST be a submissive, for her own sake, and because she is prepared to embark on a journey of seduction, yearning, and abandon.

I seek a special person, who specifically desires a deeply Dom/sub relationship, and can enjoy and accept that I am looking for you as a confident expression of who I am, not out of unhappiness, or a sense of internal lacking that I hope you will fill. Yet, there is an intense bond between a Dominant and submissive who have exchanged mutual trust. This is something outside of marriage, or any other convention for which society has come up with a description.

You need make no protestations, denials or qualifications to me. I understand that you are neither a whore, nor necessarily outwardly slutty.

To surrender takes courage. It is an act of immense power and vulnerability that can only be achieved by virtue of deep trust. It is the antithesis of violence and rape. It is a vehicle for powerful catharsis and serves as a source of balance for psycho-sexual expression in our own lives: It is a beautiful and sacred thing, of the earth and our darkest places. It's aesthetic is dark; but, in its sincere form, the exchange between Dominant and submissive is an interplay of sexual power, rooted in the light - that the vehicle for this experience is bondage and temporary pain only serves to increase its desperate urgency, and is not to be confused with suffering: it is an affirmation of my need to control, to Dominate, and a celebration of your need to submit . . . a symbiosis.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you live close to either NYC or Northern Westchester, have depth and expect it in me, and seek intimacy and intensity.

NO SWINGERS. If you use the term "in the lifestyle," I am not for you...

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