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TardisPants

36 M Brooklyn, NY

My Details

Last Online
Today – 7:16pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
OPEN RELATIONSHIP DISCLAIMER: I'm in a monogamish long-term relationship with someone I met on OKC, SafteyLast. I don't have a lot of casual dating free time, but if you're fantastically nerdy--like, "owns MtG decks" and "has a Fibonacci tattoo" nerdy, not "Listens to NPR" nerdy--you should say hello. END DISCLAIMER.

The people I gravitate to are those who are volleying around
hypothetical Chuck Klostermans (Would you rather spend 3 months in Paris or 5 minutes on the moon?), not those talking about their job. I'm sure your job is super, but I'd rather know about your favorite museum dioramas.

I go onto conservative websites and troll homophobes when I'm bored.

I won money on Cash Cab.

This is the funniest 18 seconds on the Internet.
What I’m doing with my life
You are standing in a dank tavern. Shifty characters lurk within the shadows of their cloaks, their faces just beyond reach of the guttering lanterns. A one-eyed HOBGOBLIN motions you to his table. There are exits to the SOUTH and EAST.

>
I’m really good at
Geeky trivia, Boggle, improvisational soup-making, copy-editing, consuming a season of a show in a sitting, and derailing a conversation to reference an obscure piece of pop-culture minutiae.
The first things people usually notice about me
An impressive wingspan and faint odor of edam cheese.
The six things I could never do without
Portmanteaus.

The file in my RSS reader named "Funny pics."

A bed. And I don't mean the whole mattress-pillows-sheets ensemble; I mean the actual frame. I find few things more horrifying than a mattress on the floor. I've never done it and never will. Remember in House of Cards when Zoe just had a mattress on the floor? That made me feel worse for her than anything else.

I could never do without those things that I have ever not had in abundance, disregarding their lack of notable non-absence.

Homestar Runner? I dunno, he's pretty good, I guess.

The laughter of children. Ha. Totally kidding. Cheese? Parenthesees? PARENTHECHEESE??
I spend a lot of time thinking about
This.

Holy crap, Incredibles 2 in 2017, y'all!
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm going to use this section for random personal facts instead.

* After years of being disappointed by mops, I've taken to hand-washing my floors with a rag and bucket
* I rewatch Wall Street about once a week because it has an enormous amount of dialog that can be listened to while playing video games.
* I've never had a Pop-Tart. I don't really see much reason to start now.
* I rate a lot of people on OKC in the hopes that they will enjoy the self-esteem boost from a stranger positively evaluating them.
* I consume an obscene amount of vegetable smoothies. My fingers and toes are kind of orangey. Did you know that's a thing? That's a thing.
* I like kettlebell exercises but wish it were called something slightly cooler. Like lifty-balls. Or Trevor.
* Did you know parrots can't eat avocado? I mean, they CAN, but the result will be a dead parrot. That's not a personal fact, but it's pretty darned interesting.
* I was told by an OKC girl that my teeth had "character." She said it was meant as a compliment. I don't think she understood what a compliment is.
* I get anxious--like, physically uncomfortable--if I'm not keeping abreast of something that has become a pop-culture touchstone. I haven't watched a single episode of "Arrow" and that fact makes me want to DIE.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've keyword-searched "cosplay" on OKC.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
...you've ever uttered "Why are the save points so #$@!%ing far apart?!" out loud at the television.

...you've ever wondered what it feels like to be bitten by a parrot.

...looking at a ridiculous amount of nerdy tattoos appeals to you. (Recently added: Joust ostrich named Flappy).

...you find comic-book stores almost painfully full of promise.

You shouldn't if...
...you've ever said, "I don't watch television." Cutting yourself off from such an enormous source of culture, education, and entertainment is not commendable. It's kind of depressing.