Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
OPEN RELATIONSHIP DISCLAIMER:
I'm in a monogamish
long-term relationship with someone I met on OKC, SafteyLast.
I don't have a lot of casual dating free
time, but if you're fantastically nerdy--like, "owns MtG decks" and
"has a Fibonacci tattoo" nerdy, not "Listens to NPR" nerdy--you
should say hello. END DISCLAIMER.
WHY I HIT "LIKE" ON YOUR PROFILE DISCLAIMER:
bored and clicking around and you seemed like a decent person. I
wasn't backhandedly hitting on you, no worries.
The people I gravitate to are those who are volleying around
hypothetical Chuck Klostermans (Would you rather spend 3 months in
Paris or 5 minutes on the moon?), not those talking about their
job. I'm sure your job is super, but I'd rather know about your
favorite museum dioramas.
I cannot tell you what a pet peeve it is when people put "exploring
the city" as a hobby. NYC is 100% explored, I promise. You aren't
forging any new trails, Magellan.
I'm a big deal on reddit. I'm the only one who cares about
I won money on Cash Cab.
This is the funniest 18
seconds on the Internet.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
You are standing in a dank tavern. Shifty characters lurk within
the shadows of their cloaks, their faces just beyond reach of the
guttering lanterns. A one-eyed HOBGOBLIN motions you to his table.
There are exits to the SOUTH and EAST.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Geeky trivia, Boggle, improvisational soup-making, copy-editing,
consuming a season of a show in a sitting, and derailing a
conversation to reference an obscure piece of pop-culture minutiae.
I like making sushi and salad dressing. I've been stealing too many
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You can't have this many tattoos and not have the answer be "this
many tattoos." Unless I reek of something unholy and never noticed.
I probably would have noticed.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A bed. And I don't mean the whole mattress-pillows-sheets ensemble;
I mean the actual frame. I find few things more horrifying than a
mattress on the floor. I've never done it and never will. Remember
in House of Cards when Zoe just had a mattress on the floor? That
made me feel worse for her than anything else, including the train
I could never do without those things that I have ever not had in
abundance, disregarding their lack of notable non-absence.
Homestar Runner? I dunno, he's pretty good, I guess.
The laughter of children. Ha. Totally kidding. Cheese?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Holy crap, Incredibles 2 in 2017, y'all!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm going to use this section for random personal facts
* After years of being disappointed by mops, I've taken to
hand-washing my floors with a rag and bucket
* I rewatch Wall Street about once a week because it has an
enormous amount of dialog that can be listened to while playing
* I've never had a Pop-Tart. I don't really see much reason to
* I rate a lot of people on OKC in the hopes that they will enjoy
the self-esteem boost from a stranger positively evaluating
* I consume an obscene amount of vegetable smoothies. My fingers
and toes are kind of orangey. Did you know that's a thing? That's a
* I like kettlebell exercises but wish it were called something
slightly cooler. Like lifty-balls. Or Trevor.
* Did you know parrots can't eat avocado? I mean, they CAN, but the
result will be a dead parrot. That's not a personal fact, but it's
pretty darned interesting.
* I was told by an OKC girl that my teeth had "character." She said
it was meant as a compliment. I don't think she understood what a
* I get anxious--like, physically uncomfortable--if I'm not keeping
abreast of something that has become a pop-culture touchstone. I
haven't watched a single episode of "Arrow" and that fact makes me
want to DIE.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've keyword-searched "cosplay" on OKC.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you've ever uttered "Why are the save points so #$@!%ing far
apart?!" out loud at the television.
...you've ever wondered what it feels like to be bitten by a
...looking at a ridiculous amount of nerdy tattoos appeals to you.
(Recently added: Joust ostrich named Flappy).
...you find comic-book stores almost painfully full of
You shouldn't if...
...you've ever said, "I don't watch television." Cutting yourself
off from such an enormous source of culture, education, and
entertainment is not commendable. It's kind of depressing.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.