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30 Knoxville, TN Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–34
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Apr 13, 2014
Native American, White
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body type
Mostly vegetarian
Not at all
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Graduated from masters program
Seeing Someone
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I would've thought that 29 years of life and 8 in academia would have better prepared me for writing a short self-summary on some dating site but apparently all I got out of it was how to write a semi-pretentious-sounding preamble to an otherwise cluttered bio. Hi! I'm Mike. (Is that better? No? I'm so good at this game...)


I had prepared most of my life for navigating the post-secondary myth when, suddenly, I found myself teaching elementary. Tough times when you have to go from plagiarism to peeing on the floor. The kids are great though! :) Most of the time.

I love to travel and enjoy playing tour guide, but would also like to start taking excursions with other experienced adventurers. You know, ones that aren't proudly indecisive or always trying to hit on the waitress (my friends are awesome...but not at traveling).

Writing is my hobby and creative outlet. Essays, poetry, ongoing works of fantasy- I dabble in a bit of everything. I'd say that I'm not bad, but after looking at that mess above...well...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trolling children until it's time to head back for that elusive PhD. Enjoying all the variety that life has to offer. Collecting cats. Taking advantage of the sunlight.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Giving myself shin splints.
Card games.
Taking up too many hobbies/responsibilities.
Laughing at awkwardness (especially my own)
Saying strange things in my sleep.
Not being able to finish a bag of chips.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I laugh often, and sometimes (others would say) at inappropriate times.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books - This list will seem totally random. I assure you that it is not totally random. Maybe at least one of us will believe that.
From my "to read" shelf:

Discipline & Punishment - Foucault
The Boxer Rebellion - Preston
The Gunslinger - SK
Case Histories - Atkinson
Thus Spoke Zarathustra - Nietzsche
Spring Snow - Mishima
Gotham (A History of NYC)
The Weekend Novelist

Shows - I don't have TV or Netflix, so I've only seen a few shows from the last few years, but I've liked Big Bang Theory, Downton Abbey, Walking Dead, Fringe, Madmen, Lost and Girls.

Music - It varies a great deal; I go from mainstream to eccentric and back again depending on my mood. Trance, classic rock, ambient, anything 90s, rap, and on and on. Next 5 songs on my (shuffled) playlist:
Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want
Marley - Buffalo Soldier
Sarah McLachlan - Building a Mystery
Smashing Pumpking - Bullet with Butterfly Wings
Avenged Sevenfold - Burn it Down

Show me an artist, and I'll probably like some of their work.

Food - Pizza. Salads that have never known that imposter iceberg. Blueberries. Spinach. Kale.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Some means to write with - pad and paper, computer, etc
2. Games - card or board
3. My car
4. Some sort of music player
5. Leisure time
6. New experiences

My kitties would be on here but...people aren't things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Where to travel next. How I manage to let 2nd graders troll me and get away with it. Why McKay's can't process my ridiculously huge trade-ins just a LITTLE bit faster.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing a nerdy card game or out of town, exploring a new locale.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like Kenny G. I may be the only human being under 40 with this position.

I am TERRIBLE at choosing lines. Don't stand in line with me. You will wait. Forever. I promise.

I was once involved in a train robbery. Involved as in being robbED, not the robbER. This is why suffixes are important.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Any of this nonsense amuses you!