Ahhh... strike the intelligent part, because I was an idiot. To be fair, I did re-enter the singles world not having practiced for quite a while. Absolutely none of this is easy!
On a positive note, I have met a number of really great women in the last couple of years even if most weren't matches. I have also learned a few things.
Chemistry is extremely elusive. Most often, neither of us feel it. Other times, if I feel it, she doesn't, and if she does, I don't.
Women that I think match with me perfectly based on a written profile often don't in person. Similar interests and backgrounds are nice, but rarely indicative of possible amore. In contrast, I've been surprised on more than one occasion hitting it off with someone I went into the first meeting with less than requisite enthusiasm. This realization makes it somewhat difficult to cull the field. For instance, several of the women I have met without college degrees are among the most intelligent I have ever had the good fortune to know. So much for my misplaced prejudices.
You see my dilemma. No doubt many of you have experienced it as well. Why is all of this so difficult? Perhaps we can't short circuit affairs of the heart with the cool calculations of the mind.
Sure, I would love to find a woman to trail run with through mountain forest and across high tundra, to stroll on a Saturday afternoon through museums, to attend a the latest show at the arts center, to ski slopes, or sometimes to merely hang out with no intentions or predeterminations as to the course of the day. And, of course, to make me lose control in a fit of passion when the door to the bedroom closes.
Ahhh....yes, all of these would be great but even a few (some more important than others ... wink, wink, nod, nod) would be fine, if only I could find a woman who remains on my mind when she is absent and occasionally causes me to break out in smile just because. Perhaps you are her: sadly, probability says probably not. How are we to ever know unless we meet?
There are at least a few things I know I won't compromise on. Honesty is foremost. I know that too many women erase years just as many men add inches: Small transgressions, but too large for me. Feminine empathy and kindness are also important: someone who treats all with respect whether a store clerk or pillar of society. But these qualities should be tempered with a quick wit and wry sense of humor bordering on sarcastic that is more self deprecating than mean.
Is this asking a lot?
Perhaps. But one cannot find El Dorado from an arm chair parked in front of a 70" flat screen or staring at a computer screen imagining what life could be like if the woman on the other side of the perfectly crafted profile answers the email that has yet to be written for want of perfect prose balanced by a fear of failure.
Onward and forward.
But how to choose? Pics are an initial screen. Unless we each find each other attractive nothing can develop. I suspect there has been a woman or two that has read my profile and thought, "this guy would be great for me but he is not my type". Sadly, I have experienced this as well (genders reversed, of course).
I also read the profiles, quite intently actually. I don't so much read the words for what they say, but I try to divine a sense of the person. Sometimes it works, often it does not: it is all part of the journey.
Thanks for reading. If I touched, intrigued or moved you AND you like my pics, say hi. If not, best of luck and may we both find what we are looking for (and yes, a certain song is now playing in my head. Damn you, U2!)