In our professional lives, we often identify goals, devise a strategy to realize the goals and then execute. We can exert a measure of control over the process. Dating, amour and things of the heart are not amenable to control whether introspectively or over others. The heart is irrational, wonderful, fickle, uplifting, easily blinded, symphonic, emotional and imaginative all at the same time. To the heart no obstacle is too great, no challenge too daunting, no adventure too dangerous. The mind is there in part to keep the heart in check: it does not appreciate uncertainty and reckless abandon. I am constantly reminded watching and observing my 11yo twin girls they see the world through the eyes of the heart. For many of us, the mind has likely gained too much control locking the heart behind a cage of ribs relegated to the menial task of pumping.
When the heart tries to soar, the mind bristles back, “Remember the hurt, the anger, and the joy of the pain. Get back in your cage! I will lead us through this life safely and calmly. Steady as we go.”
Sigh… I don't want to go through life being entirely rational and safe. Occasionally, I want to think irrational thoughts and feel deeply. Left to my own devices, I might sit back and take the well worn path lacking obstacles and other thorns but what will I miss avoiding the path less traveled? You might be the same way. I want to find a partner who will walk with me, each of us challenging and reinforcing the other along the way. I want to find someone whose soul I can touch and learn her deepest thoughts and feelings. I want the same in reverse.
Of course, there are limits. I am not suggesting I want to jump off my roof holding a sheet overhead hoping I float to the ground: there is a bit of wisdom that comes with age. Adventure need not always be crazy exploits. Sometimes it can be as simple as viewing something ordinary from an entirely new perspective: as my daughter demonstrated to me the other day, seeing elephants in the clouds.
If one or more of the following appeals to you, maybe we should talk:
1. Trail running along a mountain trail we've never taken and picnicking above timberline;
2. Driving to Limon and having lunch at the best cafe in town, later heading to the edge of town to watch an electric storm move across the plain;
3. Finding a mountain waterfall while on a hike and standing under it before we realize the water is really cold;
4. Sitting outdoors at a bar looking out over the Caribbean drinking margaritas pondering whether we would have made good pirates;
5. Hanging out with friends perhaps with a glass of wine playing monopoly.
6. Sometimes just being lazy, watching really bad reality TV and laughing about it.
7. Taking a day trip on my 37 yo motorcycle to some distant destination even after you've heard me opine about its sketchy reliability;
8. Riding our mountain bikes hard ending a long day worn out realizing we are going to be very sore;
9. Hearing some aging 80's alternative band in a dive bar sing about youth angst; and
10. 4wheeling on old mining roads and exploring the remaining relics of forgotten ghost towns.
The options are endless. Care to add to the list? Truth be told, who is more important than what.
In the end, the search for the perfect match comes down chemistry. Two profiles can be exactly the same, yet when you meet the person behind one it is awkward and stilted, and with the other you can't get him/her out of your mind. "Chemistry" is of the heart: the mind can't override it.
If you made it to the end, drop me a note and tell me what you think.
Good luck and have fun!